I think I messed up today

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Maggiolone

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I have been suffering from a foot fetish for other males since high school. I am now 27. I have never felt sexual attraction physically to males otherwise. I have talked to priests about this as well. Today I went to a beach and saw another guy my age making a design in the sand. He was shoeless. I walked up to him and asked him what he was drawing in the sand after he finished. He told me it was just a sunburst design. He seemed suprised somoeone asked him about it and seemed to be ok with it. I said it was cool and walked away to put on my footwear. I knew I should have talked to him but I did. I feel terrible that I talked trivially about that when I should have avoided anything related to ssa. Did I really feed into this serious disorder today or was I experiencing something that can be repaired?
 
This is kind of a difficult problem to wrap my head around. Being attracted to male feet but nothing else is a little odd, and I am trying to make some sort of comparison but nothing really fits. I don’t really imagine just talking to a man who happens to have exposed feet is enough though. If you were actively lusting that would be a problem in the same way that if I were staring at girls in bathing suits with lustful thoughts it would be a problem. Certainly you can’t be expected to avoid/not talk to every guy who ever happens to be going barefoot.
 
This is kind of a difficult problem to wrap my head around. Being attracted to male feet but nothing else is a little odd, and I am trying to make some sort of comparison but nothing really fits. I don’t really imagine just talking to a man who happens to have exposed feet is enough though. If you were actively lusting that would be a problem in the same way that if I were staring at girls in bathing suits with lustful thoughts it would be a problem. Certainly you can’t be expected to avoid/not talk to every guy who ever happens to be going barefoot.
And that is my problem. I just have no desire for another man other than …just being barefoot with him. I do not have any desire for sex. Yet I get this urge to talk to another shoeless guy; it is not every guy but just here and there. It is a weird burden and I am hurting inside. I constanly pray I can improve.
 
I have been suffering from a foot fetish for other males since high school. I am now 27. I have never felt sexual attraction physically to males otherwise. I have talked to priests about this as well. Today I went to a beach and saw another guy my age making a design in the sand. He was shoeless. I walked up to him and asked him what he was drawing in the sand after he finished. He told me it was just a sunburst design. He seemed suprised somoeone asked him about it and seemed to be ok with it. I said it was cool and walked away to put on my footwear. I knew I should have talked to him but I did. I feel terrible that I talked trivially about that when I should have avoided anything related to ssa. Did I really feed into this serious disorder today or was I experiencing something that can be repaired?
I suppose the question would be whether you went to the beach to purposefully feed this fetish or not. Also if doing so made you think of him in a way that you shouldn’t have. It sounds disordered because fetishes are disordered to begin with. I think the gravity of any sin would be based off of your intention and where you allowed this to go (i.e. what you let it do to your heart).

The good news is that we can and do get better at repairing the damage we have done by working on ourselves. Keep praying for the grace to resist the urge to do that again, especially before going to a beach where I would presume that most people are barefoot.
 
I suppose the question would be whether you went to the beach to purposefully feed this fetish or not. Also if doing so made you think of him in a way that you shouldn’t have. It sounds disordered because fetishes are disordered to begin with. I think the gravity of any sin would be based off of your intention and where you allowed this to go (i.e. what you let it do to your heart).

The good news is that we can and do get better at repairing the damage we have done by working on ourselves. Keep praying for the grace to resist the urge to do that again, especially before going to a beach where I would presume that most people are barefoot.
Thank you for the encouraging insight. I went there today on my break because it was nice out, yet I had a feeling there could be temptation for such thoughts. And I knew it was not in my best interests to talk to the guy, even though it was just trivial and superficial conversation. I just felt this strong wanting to talk to him.
 
If you have sexual thoughts as a result of looking at anyone’s feet, then it’s a sin.

To be honestly, it would be almost unheard of for someone with a foot fetish to not have sinful thoughts while at the same time being attracted to a person’s feet enough where you approach someone because of it.
 
When I was young I never had a girl friend.(I still don’t) If any girl asked me out I would simply turn them down. I just wasn’t attracted to them. I wondered what was wrong with me. I wasn’t gay because I wasn’t attracted to guys. A lot of high school thought I was gay. I told them I wasn’t. Don’t know how many believed me. I then though I was asexual. I than discover the wonderful world wide web. I fell madly in love with female bodybuilders. Something about the muscular female form really turned me on. They are the most gorgeous things I have ever seen. I’m probably 1/100,000 of the population of guys who is attracted to female bodybuilders, but I do noticed there is a lot of guys on the internet that share my love for FBBs.👍 Some people my find me weird for being attracted to FBBs but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.😃
 
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