I think I persecuted a family

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JoyIsLikeRain

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I always find myself sitting in a pew directly ahead of toddlers seemingly every time I attend Mass. If they get out of hand (screaming, banging on the back of my pew, hitting my back, etc.) I usually find another pew and discreetly move there.

Today I was at a packed Mass, with a toddler and his dad behind me. The little kid was doing pretty well up until the consecration. When I knelt down, he started to hit my legs. I glanced down behind me and his dad quickly picked him and and said “sorry.”

About two minutes later, the toddler began to count numbers and sing loudly; dad wasn’t telling him “ssshhhh.” I ignored it until he starting to make farting-like noises with his lips, constantly and loudly (during the silence of the consecration.)

I know the child didn’t know better, and dad was probably immune to it, but I quickly glanced back at the kid and turned around again. Dad immediately scooped him up and either took him to the lobby or home; I didn’t seem them during communion.

I felt terrible; I thought I should have not let his antics get to me to draw that kind of attention. I’m wondering: did I persecute this family at Mass?
 
No, I don’t think you persecuted them. Perhaps next time it happens (and there will be a next time) you can try to super concentrate on the Mass. I try to give parents the benefit of the doubt when kids are at church. My son has special needs and has needed compassion and understanding on more than one occasion.
 
90Domer said:
No, I don’t think you persecuted them. Perhaps next time it happens (and there will be a next time) you can try to super concentrate on the Mass. I try to give parents the benefit of the doubt when kids are at church. My son has special needs and has needed compassion and understanding on more than one occasion.
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Thank you…I can understand what you mean about your own son. The parish I was at has many, many families with young kids, and usually I don’t hear them at Mass. I must have been in the wrong frame of mind.
 
Be prepared next time and have a little something for the child. Maybe a little card about a saint, or a plastic rosary. We all need to have patience with the little ones and this a great way to help communicate to the parents that you understand that it is tough and you are not persecuting them.
 
Prayers for the family.

Next time, keep your eyes fixed on the Altar and if a child makes a noise, offer up your suffering for all those children who long for a child.
 
I don’t think you did anything wrong at all, don’t worry. Hopefully the father is not so prideful to be offended and will realize that someone he is responsible for caused another to be distracted during Mass, and will try to be better about it next time
 
I don’t think you need to agonize over this, but perhaps it is an opportunity for you to grow in patience. Personally, I am never bothered by this stuff, if anything I am bemused.
 
Nope, I couldn’t see that your persecuted them: it’s a perfectly normal reaction to shush a child who’s being disruptive. It’s not like you went into an Anti-Family Left-Wing Wack-Job-like tirade at them and told them they’re contributing to over-population, blah-blah-blah.

I think, rather, you might want to consider praying for the grace to be a bit more patient with yourself
 
No, as someone who has a toddler, you weren’t out of line. I am nine months pregnant and always manage to get DS out of there if he starts being totally disruptive. And we don’t have a crying room; I have to stand in the back with him.

If he gets to totally screaming, I take him out. It’s common courtesy. And with a toddler, it’s not the same as a teeny baby, KWIM?
 
No, you didn’t persecute anyone. If you feel bad about it, then just try and be more patient next time.
 
To clarify, but ‘take him out’ I mean ‘take him into the parking lot’. I actually take him into the vestibule at the first signs of disruption; he knows if he screams, he has to leave completely.
 
I can totally empathize with you. Since I don’t have children, I find myself easily distracted by them in church. I’ve gotten to where I can “tune them out” when they’re doing normal kid noises, but I do find myself distracted by totally inappropriate behavior and the parents encourage/do nothing about it. A few examples so you understand what I mean:
Parents giving their children Cheetos to eat DURING MASS. I’m not talking about little kids. I’m talking about school-aged children who should be able to sit without eating something for an hour.
A parent letting their child spread out on the pew at a mass that is PACKED, letting him put his feet all over the person sitting next to them (which happened to be me). I couldn’t move because there was no room in the pew because, again, the mass was standing-room only. Then she proceeded to hand him her cell phone so he could play games.

So while I’m trying to work on my patience and my ability to focus solely on the mass – that is my duty – I do think it’s the duty of parents to teach their children what is appropriate to a given situation. Running around outside, is perfectly appropriate; inside the church, not so much.
 
You were fine. The kid sounded a bit too wound up. As long as you weren’t glaring and giving nasty looks then what’s the problem? 🤷

We should be able to focus on mass but naturally turn our head to distractions. A fly buzzing around, a person sneezing, someone dropping a book and yes, small children.

People without kids need to learn to be less distracted. It’s mass…no one is going to steal your purse or infect you with ebola. People with kids need to learn to develop a thicker skin. Just becuase someone looks at you dosn’t mean they want you to disappear.
 
purplesunshine said:
You were fine. The kid sounded a bit too wound up. As long as you weren’t glaring and giving nasty looks then what’s the problem? 🤷

We should be able to focus on mass but naturally turn our head to distractions. A fly buzzing around, a person sneezing, someone dropping a book and yes, small children.

People without kids need to learn to be less distracted. It’s mass…**no one is going to steal your purse **or infect you with ebola. People with kids need to learn to develop a thicker skin. Just becuase someone looks at you dosn’t mean they want you to disappear.
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I have had my purse stolen at Mass before. There were several purses stolen during the consecration. The church wasn’t in a good area though. People knew that a church= people who have money and aren’t paying attention to their purses. :mad:

So now I keep my purse zipped and looped around my arm.
 
CountrySinger said:
I have had my purse stolen at Mass before. There were several purses stolen during the consecration. The church wasn’t in a good area though. People knew that a church= people who have money and aren’t paying attention to their purses. :mad:

So now I keep my purse zipped and looped around my arm.
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Thanks for being contrary. :rolleyes:

Sorry you had your purse stolen. It is sad that it happens in church. My whole point was that BOTH sides, those who don’t have children, and those who do have alot to work on. Too many people in mass have a periscope type neck and scope around for every little noise. Too many parents seem to bust into tears if you so much as look at little Johnny.
 
pentecostbaby said:
To clarify, but ‘take him out’ I mean ‘take him into the parking lot’.
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:rotfl:
Thanks for letting us know!

Reminds me of Bill Cosby on an episode of the Cosby Show: “I brought you into this world I’ll take you out!!!”
 
purplesunshine said:
Thanks for being contrary. :rolleyes:

Sorry you had your purse stolen. It is sad that it happens in church. My whole point was that BOTH sides, those who don’t have children, and those who do have alot to work on. Too many people in mass have a periscope type neck and scope around for every little noise. Too many parents seem to bust into tears if you so much as look at little Johnny.
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I try. I have to be the pesky one. 😃

It is better than doing my Ari Gold impersonation.
 
I don’t think anyone was at fault here. Being a mom, I know personally how very difficult going to mass is. In fact, I go maybe once a month b/c it’s too stressful for me.

I get dirty looks from parishners b/c my son is so crazy active and loud and I cannot control him without a screaming temper. I just avoid the whole thing for now.

You didn’t do anything wrong, but next time, offer up your suffering and pray for the parents who are taking on the daunting task of bringing small children to mass 😛
 
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