I think I put my foot in my mouth

[Anglewannabe]

I am in my 6 week of my new contract job. The head hunter who got it for me asked how it was going. I asked her if she had any feedback for me. The feedback was ‘ok, no specific issues’ Then she asked if she could share my feedback with my manager to which I said OK:banghead: I feel I did a dumb thing.

All I said was that since my manager was busy, I unfortunately did not learn as much as I would have hoped. That the team was great and I do my best never to complain because I was trying to make a good impression since I was hoping to be kept.

I was trying to show understanding for the fact that my manager was busy and that I was a team player for not complaining.

Well…when my manager got that feedback, it was weird. She asked to have a private talk and said ‘I can read between the lines, we have committed to keep you until the end of September but I know we are not getting along’

Well… I had NO idea where that came from. Then we had a talk. Well… I did not say half of what I was thinking because I did NOT want to come across as critical. I am too tired to write everything but here are a few examples.

1-) My manager said she did NOT like how I was telling ‘Lisa’ what to do. She did not appreciate me telling Lisa ‘It is almost four time for you to go’. To which I politely said ‘Lisa asked me to tell her when it was 4 and my eyes glanced at the clock and saw 3:56 and I knew I would forget to tell her in 4 minutes’. Thankfully I could tell in her face she realized she was wrong

2-) My manager told me ‘I do not appreciate how you give Lisa all the jobs you hate doing’. I said ‘When Lisa has nothing to do, she stand at my desk and just watches me work. I though she wanted work and to be honest, I give it to her to get her away from me because I find her annoying’. My manager replied ‘I only saw it once’. I let it dropped. But what REALLY concerns me is the part about ‘the work I don’t like’. The only work I have ever asked Lisa to do was my favourite job. The reason I give it to her is because it is the only thing I can ask her to do without training her.

My biggest concern is I suspect my manager jumps to conclusions about me and then gets a negative impression of me that is TOTALLY inaccurate. That is what concerns me because if she thinks bad things, I will never be kept on.

Anytime I have asked someone a question because I did not want to disturb my manager because she is SO busy, my manager has made it crystal clear I am to bring all my questions to HER and ONLY HER. Yet, every time I ask something she makes it very clear I am an annoying disturbance.

She did mention a few times that I interrupted her while she was talking to others. And she was right and I apologized and agreed I was wrong and made a mental note to try my best not to let it happened again. And we talked about another task I did wrong. And I admitted I did it very wrong. I knew it at the time but I am so nervous, I was petrified to ask how to do it better.

We talked a bit more and I do think she was trying to make things better. The problem is, she genuinely is VERY busy. I want to give her the benefits of the doubt and I do believe that she is a good person, she is just under so much stress, she has little patience for anything right now. I also STRONGLY suspect she does not have time to consider what I say and jumps to the wrong conclusions. My biggest concern is how can I perform to get an extension or at least a good reference.

And another thing. Any time she has seen me get up from my desk, she asked ‘What do you need’ in an unfriendly tone. So, every time I get up from my desk, I am so petrified I am going to get criticized that I immediately say ‘I am going little girls room’. Well, she said ‘We are all adults, you don’t have to tell me why you are getting up from your desk’. Well… if I don’t have to tell her, why does she always ask???

She is constantly asking about EVERY single little detail. For example, the other day, I was suppose to make up address labels. I remembered I had to contact the dentist to cancel my appointment. So I was looking up the dentist’s phone number on the internet. She immediately saw that and asked if I was looking up the address, and I told her what I was doing and she let it drop. Well, today she told me she felt like she was micromanaging me and she did not like it. I bite my tongue but all I could think was ‘You
didn’t have to ask what I was doing’!

I feel I am getting very mixed messages

Angie

 

[tj5421]

I think it is great that you spoke up. There have been a few jobs where I worked and felt the same way as you. I didn’t say anything and afterwards I regretted it because I could have made the experience better for my self and the employer. I would just be honest and I always think that it is better to ask a manager a question rather than doing something wrong.

 

[504Katrin]

My response here is too long for one message.
I feel that you want to do everything right and need some help and so I reply to you as detailed as I can.

I am in my 6 week of my new contract job. The head hunter who got it for me asked how it was going. I asked her if she had any feedback for me. The feedback was ‘ok, no specific issues’ Then she asked if she could share my feedback with my manager to which I said OK:banghead: I feel I did a dumb thing.

All I said was that since my manager was busy, I unfortunately did not learn as much as I would have hoped. That the team was great and I do my best never to complain because I was trying to make a good impression since I was hoping to be kept.

You did complain. This is a complaint. You’re criticising her and behind her back for not giving you enough training. Something you could have said is something like “I’ve just started working, so I’m yet looking forward to making a lot of progress.”

I was trying to show understanding for the fact that my manager was busy and that I was a team player for not complaining.

Not complaining doesn’t make you a team player. It depends on the way you say something and you did it the wrong way, sorry Angle. You never interpret anything into peoples actions at work is the first thing you will have to remember if you want to be successful. When my assistant does something that is totally incomprehensible to me then I don’t conclude that she’s having a bad day, is too lazy today, or whatever. Because, I need my nerves and energy for my tasks I have to fulfil. And so do you.
You don’t try to show understanding for your manager being busy that way. This is business. You sold your work force to that company. It is your obligation to support the company to the best of your ability. Hence, you have to learn in order to be able to support your manager and the company. If you don’t tell her that you need training, she might think that you’re not involved enough and might indeed start to micro manage you in order to take a closer look at your work ethic. You have to step up to the plate and make clear that you need training. Like I said, this is not a tea-party where people show consideration and understanding, but this is business and she knows it. Maybe this is why you have this job. G-d might want you to learn just that - to step up to the plate.

Well…when my manager got that feedback, it was weird. She asked to have a private talk and said ‘I can read between the lines, we have committed to keep you until the end of September but I know we are not getting along’

You can be glad that you have a such a good manager. Others would have had a talk with Human Recourses, made the decision to keep an eye on you, and would have fired you without further notice one fine day.

Well… I had NO idea where that came from. Then we had a talk. Well… I did not say half of what I was thinking because I did NOT want to come across as critical. I am too tired to write everything but here are a few examples.

1-) My manager said she did NOT like how I was telling ‘Lisa’ what to do. She did not appreciate me telling Lisa ‘It is almost four time for you to go’. To which I politely said ‘Lisa asked me to tell her when it was 4 and my eyes glanced at the clock and saw 3:56 and I knew I would forget to tell her in 4 minutes’. Thankfully I could tell in her face she realized she was wrong

You can remind her that it’s almost four, but don’t tell her it’s time for her to go as you’re not her supervisor. You also acted like a supervisor in the next situation below.

2-) My manager told me ‘I do not appreciate how you give Lisa all the jobs you hate doing’. I said ‘When Lisa has nothing to do, she stand at my desk and just watches me work. I though she wanted work and to be honest, I give it to her to get her away from me because I find her annoying’. My manager replied ‘I only saw it once’. I let it dropped. But what REALLY concerns me is the part about ‘the work I don’t like’. The only work I have ever asked Lisa to do was my favourite job. The reason I give it to her is because it is the only thing I can ask her to do without training her.

Don’t talk bad about coworkers but help to create a healthy work surroundment. An advice is criticise coworkers if you know that you can help them improve with your (task-related) criticism, but keep it business. You just told your manager that you find a coworker “annoying”. If anyone did that with me I would tell my employee to go and tell her directly into her face, and I would be annoyed about you.

You’re the newbie in this company that has yet to learn a lot. You’re neither a supervisor, a senior, nor do you play golf with the manager at the weekends. Don’t give anyone work. Follow the chain of command. What you did is you acted like a supervisor or manager. If anyone gives work to Lisa it’s your manager. You crossed a line as you’re not responsible for your coworkers. In future, when Lisa is sitting there idle let her sit idle. Once you will have belonged to the company for a while and established yourself, you can tell your manager that Lisa has no work to do and ask her if she wants you to give her some work.

 

[504Katrin]

My biggest concern is I suspect my manager jumps to conclusions about me and then gets a negative impression of me that is TOTALLY inaccurate. That is what concerns me because if she thinks bad things, I will never be kept on.

It seems that right now she doesn’t quite know what to make out of you if you ask me and you have every chance to right the ship if you change your actions and do what she wants you to do, and stay out of other peoples work volumes.

Anytime I have asked someone a question because I did not want to disturb my manager because she is SO busy, my manager has made it crystal clear I am to bring all my questions to HER and ONLY HER. Yet, every time I ask something she makes it very clear I am an annoying disturbance.

“Anytime”? “Everytime”? She told you that she wants to train you, so why did this occur over and over again? My advice to you is don’t let it happen again.

She did mention a few times that I interrupted her while she was talking to others. And she was right and I apologized and agreed I was wrong and made a mental note to try my best not to let it happened again. And we talked about another task I did wrong. And I admitted I did it very wrong. I knew it at the time but I am so nervous, I was petrified to ask how to do it better.

You even made mistakes because you didn’t want to interview your manager on how to do it better. You have to learn to step up to the plate. This is getting clearer and clearer throughout your post.

We talked a bit more and I do think she was trying to make things better. The problem is, she genuinely is VERY busy. I want to give her the benefits of the doubt and I do believe that she is a good person, she is just under so much stress, she has little patience for anything right now. I also STRONGLY suspect she does not have time to consider what I say and jumps to the wrong conclusions. My biggest concern is how can I perform to get an extension or at least a good reference.

And another thing. Any time she has seen me get up from my desk, she asked ‘What do you need’ in an unfriendly tone. So, every time I get up from my desk, I am so petrified I am going to get criticized that I immediately say ‘I am going little girls room’. Well, she said ‘We are all adults, you don’t have to tell me why you are getting up from your desk’. Well… if I don’t have to tell her, why does she always ask???

We don’t know if she meant it in an unfriendly way, and it’s not important. Forget about tones at work, it will save you from putting energy into things that don’t matter at work. A better reply to that might have been “Thank you (insert name) Is there anything I can do for you?/Can I assist you in anything?”

She is constantly asking about EVERY single little detail. For example, the other day, I was suppose to make up address labels. I remembered I had to contact the dentist to cancel my appointment. So I was looking up the dentist’s phone number on the internet. She immediately saw that and asked if I was looking up the address, and I told her what I was doing and she let it drop. Well, today she told me she felt like she was micromanaging me and she did not like it. I bite my tongue but all I could think was ‘You
didn’t have to ask what I was doing’!

I feel I am getting very mixed messages

Angie

As I see it, you’re getting clear messages. Do your job. If you don’t have anything to do, let her know. Don’t go to any of your co-workers and ask them for work, or for job training. At the same time don’t pass on your tasks to others. Don’t speak bad about your coworkers. Don’t do anything private at work, don’t even look up the dentists’ address. She might think you have nothing to do AND you’re not asking for work at the same time, which might strongly look like you’re lacking motivation.

Make clear that you want to take responsibility for your job and she might cease sensing that you needed to be micro managed. Showing responsibility starts with asking questions if you don’t know how to do the job properly instead of doing it the wrong way. She also critizised youu for other mistakes, so she might not even think that it’s time to give you further training on new things if you’re already doing things the wrong way now.

 

[JRKH]

While I don’t know much about contract work, I have to presume that in such work the employer is not intending to do a lot of training. Rather they are looking for people with a certain skill set who they can simply “plug-in”.
Naturally some training is required in any job…but we are in no position to say whether you have been appropriately trained or not…

While I don’t necessarily agree with everything that Katrin says above, I think that she provides some good things to think about as you move forward.

Overall though I do agree with the idea that is is good that you spoke up…Perhaps things will get better, perhaps not, but you know that you have been honest with them and they have been honest with you.

Sorry I don’t have more to offer…

Peace
James

 

[Xantippe]

504Katrin has some very good advice, I think.

I agree with the comment about not paying attention to tone.

It sounds like your manager is taking to heart your need for more training and interaction (that’s where all this micromanaging is coming from), but you also need to listen to what she is saying.

At this point, I think I would count every paycheck as a blessing and just keep moving forward. You’re better off having this job than being unemployed (as far as not having a lengthy stretch of unemployment on your resume).

I think you can turn this around, but try not to take the micromanaging to heart. The more interactions you have with your boss, the more opportunities you have to 1) show her you are working conscientiously and 2) learn the job so they’ll keep you.

Best wishes! I know this is very stressful!

 

[dconklin]

I think you will make a great manager someday. Your boss, not so much.

 

[shainski]

Well, for whatever reason, she believes that you two aren’t getting along. And from everything else that you say, it appears that you believe that as well.

She may very well be the kind of person who doesn’t get along with anyone - and you are taking things personally that may not be intended as such.

It may be that her personality and yours clash. And you may not be able to do anything about that.

Given all that - if i really wanted to keep the job, here’s what i would do.

I would go into her office when she isn’t with someone and ask nicely, “Manager, when you have a few minutes, could we talk?”

I presume that she will agree.

when you do get the opportunity, i would say.

“It seems that you and I have got some tension between us. I’m not exactly sure why - but I sure would like the opportunity to start over. I want you to know that I feel that my job is to make your job easier - and I really want to do that. If you want me to come to you for advice and training, I will do that. If you want me to seek out other resources to relieve you of the stress, I will do that. I know that you are busy - but I’m not always sure what you want of me. Please tell me anything that I do that steps on your toes, and believe me, that i do not intend it. So is it okay? can we start over?”

and then listen.

She may say any number of things:

She may apologize for being so busy and not giving you proper time.
She may agree that you have been difficult to deal with and give you suggestions.
She may not say much of anything
She may tell you that you and she are just different personalities and will never get along.

But, no matter what she says - at least she can see that you are trying. So you just listen.

I generally get along with everyone - but there have been a few people in my life that - no matter what i did, I couldn’t get along with. And it seemed the harder I tried, the worse it got. I realized that all i could do was to do my job the best i knew how - and to let the cards fall where they may. I’ve been on both sides of that - with a boss and with a couple employees over the years. I’ve been with people who couldn’t be spoken to until a certain time in the morning - until after they had their coffee - or it was like walking on eggshells. Even saying “Good Morning” could seem like a tense situation.

No matter what, if i could make myself valuable, there was more reason to keep me - and promote me then to not. And even if they didn’t, I would make myself more valuable for myself.

I wish you well. (And I guess you know enough to not overshare with that recruiter - unless it is his/her wish to place you in a company that fits better with what you have to offer)

 

[504Katrin]

No, I disagree with that ^. The manager calls her into her office, not the other way around and especially not under these sensitive circumstances. The only chance Angle has is to convince her manager with her actions.

The reason why they don’t get along might be this. I have a suspicion that Angle first talked bad about Lisa “she’s so annoying” and then after that had already happened her manager found out that she said that she wouldn’t get enough training. The manager probably thinks something along the lines of: “first she complains about one of my workers and now she even complained about me behind my back”. This is not a situation that creates trust.

 

[Lorelei12]

My biggest concern is how can I perform to get an extension or at least a good reference.

To be honest, from her comment “we have committed to keep you until the end of September” leads me to believe that they plan on honoring their contract but might not be interested in keeping you on. She mentioned several things that you could improve: not giving others’ work, not interrupting while she is talking, and a task that was done incorrectly that should have been clarified first. And then she also heard that you were unhappy with the training and that you were “trying not to complain”. So, I would focus on doing your job well, not worrying about what anyone else is doing, and being sure you know how to do something before starting it. She doesn’t sound like the friendliest person, and that’s too bad, but if you can turn around her impression of you by doing those things perhaps she’ll change her mind or at least be willing to provide a good reference.

It sounds like your expectations about what this job would be for you haven’t matched what happened- the poster who mentioned that contract jobs usually aren’t interested in training people is probably right. Though there is a certain amount of acclimation involved and maybe a bit of training depending on the job, most businesses, when they hire temporary employees, are looking for a specific skill set to perform a task, and are not interested in using resources to train employees who are only going to be with the company a short time. So, instead of focusing on what you aren’t getting out of this job, focus on what you are getting- a paycheck and experience to put on your resume- and do your best to do a good job so that you can secure a good reference.

 

[Anglewannabe]

No, I disagree with that ^. The manager calls her into her office, not the other way around and especially not under these sensitive circumstances. The only chance Angle has is to convince her manager with her actions.

The reason why they don’t get along might be this. I have a suspicion that Angle first talked bad about Lisa “she’s so annoying” and then after that had already happened her manager found out that she said that she wouldn’t get enough training. The manager probably thinks something along the lines of: “first she complains about one of my workers and now she even complained about me behind my back”. This is not a situation that creates trust.

I read you other 2 post and I want to thank you for your honesty. It is good because I need to understand her point of view which she hasn’t explained.

And no, I will not initiate the next talk because we agreed to talk again in a few weeks and I think the best is to wait. If I ask for a talk to soon, she will feel I am being over petty always discussing everything.

However, I must say your suspicion of my manager hear me talk about Lisa before she got the email is wrong. I NEVER said anything to anyone about Lisa and during the talk my manager told me she though we were great friends because she saw us talk a lot. The ONLY reason I spend time talking to Lisa is because every time Lisa runs out of work, she stands beside me and I am trying to be polite. I do NOT seek her out

Angie

 

[Anglewannabe]

You did complain. This is a complaint. You’re criticising her and behind her back for not giving you enough training. Something you could have said is something like “I’ve just started working, so I’m yet looking forward to making a lot of progress.”

I can see how I could have worded things differently.

. When my assistant does something that is totally incomprehensible to me then I don’t conclude that she’s having a bad day, is too lazy today, or whatever. Because, I need my nerves and energy for my tasks I have to fulfil.

No, I don’t expect her to read my mind. But when I do something totally incomprehensible to her, I would appreciate 2 minutes of her concentration to be able to explain my motive. Some of the time she will realize what I am doing actually made sense and other times, she will see how I think to be better able to understand where I need training. All I really want is a 2 minute discussion, NOT a free pass

. You don’t try to show understanding for your manager being busy that way. This is business

I am not really sure what you are getting at but, since I know my manager is busy, I don’t think I should disturb her all the time. I think that is being understanding and should be done

. If you don’t tell her that you need training, she might think that you’re not involved enough and might indeed start to micro manage you in order to take a closer look at your work ethic .

My manager totally knows I need training. She is forever telling me 'Unfortunately I can not get you to help me today because I don’t have time to train you.

. Maybe this is why you have this job. G-d might want you to learn just that - to step up to the plate. .

Every time I try to take initiative, my manager gets mad I did something without her permission. I think stepping up to the plate is what is getting me in trouble

. You can be glad that you have a such a good manager. Others would have had a talk with Human Recourses, made the decision to keep an eye on you, and would have fired you without further notice one fine day…

Yes I agree with this

. You can remind her that it’s almost four, but don’t tell her it’s time for her to go as you’re not her supervisor…

I think it is all in the tone of voice.

. Don’t talk bad about coworkers but help to create a healthy work surroundment. An advice is criticise coworkers if you know that you can help them improve with your (task-related) criticism, but keep it business…

Right now, I don’t think it would be wise for me to even do that. I think it is best to just let others do things their way

. You just told your manager that you find a coworker “annoying”. If anyone did that with me I would tell my employee to go and tell her directly into her face, and I would be annoyed about you. …

I agree that I should go directly to the person I have a problem with. I did not tell my manager Lisa was annoying to gossip. I was simply trying to explain that I wanted her out of my hair that is why I gave her work

. . Don’t give anyone work. Follow the chain of command. What you did is you acted like a supervisor or manager. If anyone gives work to Lisa it’s your manager. …

I agree but there are times where she has asked us to work on things together and we had to discuss who does what. Lisa asks me questions since I have more experience. There are times it can not be avoided

… In future, when Lisa is sitting there idle let her sit idle…

I would love to let Lisa sit idle at HER desk. The problem is she brings her chair over and sit idle at my desk and crowds me when I want to work.

 

[Anglewannabe]

It seems that right now she doesn’t quite know what to make out of you if you ask me and you have every chance to right the ship if you change your actions and do what she wants you to do, and stay out of other peoples work volumes .

Trust me, I would love to change my actions and do as she wants. I just have NO idea what she wants

“Anytime”? “Everytime”? She told you that she wants to train you, so why did this occur over and over again? My advice to you is don’t let it happen again.

We were working on a task and my manager exact words were ‘In a situation like this, when I don’t know what the person is requesting, I send them an email for clarification’ The next time I was doing a request and I had no idea how the person came up with the numbers, I sent an email to ask for clarification (which is what I though she wanted me to do). That is an example of her getting mad at me for asking others. At the time, I was scared if I asked her how to handle it, she would have said ‘We went over this before and you are suppose to send an email’. I did NOT want to come across as not having heard her the first time

You even made mistakes because you didn’t want to interview your manager on how to do it better. You have to learn to step up to the plate. This is getting clearer and clearer throughout your post.

I honestly don’t know what you mean by ‘step up to the plate’. IMO that means figure it out for yourself. I am the type of person that needs a few minutes to think before I can get the exact solution. And as much as I was doing it wrong, I though it was a lot better to admit I was wrong than to criticize her ‘If you gave me more time I would have figured it out’.

Make clear that you want to take responsibility for your job and she might cease sensing that you needed to be micro managed. Showing responsibility starts with asking questions if you don’t know how to do the job properly instead of doing it the wrong way…

See, this is where I disagree. I have made it crystal clear I want to take responsibility and she does not want that. I get about 1 hour of work at a time. Every morning I walk in with nothing to do until she assigns something. I suspect that is because priorities are constantly changing and she wants my schedule to be flexible to put out the fire that has come up. And when I ask her questions I end up feeling so small, I am scared to go near her with my questions. I do it anyway most of the time. It is murphy’s law. The one time I REALLY should have asked I didn’t

 

[maryjk]

Just two things

1. Tell Lisa to go away. “I have work to do, please go back to your desk.”
2. As much as you need this job, maybe it isn’t the job for you. They seem to need someone that can “think on their feet.” Where you need more time to think about what to do.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

I would make sure to document your interactions with this manager. It sounds like there have been some misunderstandings and room for improvement on both sides, but nevertheless, it is vital to document these kinds of things to protect yourself from any instances where you feel you have been unfairly accused of penalized for something. Your documentation of conversations, problems, etc. (Make sure to do this without breaking company regulations or risking the release of private information). could protect you in the event that you are fired and you feel it was unfair.

 

[PatriceA]

I honestly think week 6 was actually too soon to provide as much “feedback” as you did. I would have waited until my contract was complete at the very least. Especially since you didn’t get as much detail in the company’s feedback on your performance so far.

 

[504Katrin]

I can see how I could have worded things differently.

No, I don’t expect her to read my mind. But when I do something totally incomprehensible to her, I would appreciate 2 minutes of her concentration to be able to explain my motive. Some of the time she will realize what I am doing actually made sense and other times, she will see how I think to be better able to understand where I need training. All I really want is a 2 minute discussion, NOT a free pass

I totally understand your feelings. But when your manager is that busy the priorities are set, and they will likely be set in that order: 1) Focusing on being productive 2) explaining why not having been productive. She might just not always have the time to get to Point 2, which is frustrating and I understand that.

I am not really sure what you are getting at but, since I know my manager is busy, I don’t think I should disturb her all the time. I think that is being understanding and should be done

Of course, when I need something and I see that someone’s terribly busy I leave them alone and get back with them at a later time but I will get back with them at the very same day. What I was trying to getting at is that you can’t show understanding all the time because at some point you might rather harm the company than help them with your understanding. Your boss even expects you to take care of your tasks getting done well.
A good example would be this one:

I hired a new contractor. The job on my part went quick: they came, we spoke, we negotiated terms and payments, and not even an hour later we came to terms. A day later I had the contract back from them ready to be signed by us. Their company owner said he had never before enjoyed contract negotiations as much, and ONLY because he liked me his workers were working in our company without a contract for almost three weeks. This was because, I showed consideration to our manager who barely comes in the office and I knew he didn’t have no time. At one point though, I realized that the end of the month was near hence they would soon send us an invoice for their services and they didn’t even have a contract. So I opened his door, and when he saw me he immediately said “No time. Later please.” And I said “No, I NEED you to sign this NOW cause otherwise we’ll be screwed!”

In your situation, you get work by the hour, but if you make a mistake because you were afraid to ask her, then you’re doing more harm than good to the company. Would you agree that you shouldn’t keep this work ethic? See, at some point in your career you might receive tasks with greater responsibilities.

My manager totally knows I need training. She is forever telling me 'Unfortunately I can not get you to help me today because I don’t have time to train you.

She knows it. It’s not your fault. It’s not your responsibility. Focus on the things you can do and make sure you do those 100% accurate.

Every time I try to take initiative, my manager gets mad I did something without her permission. I think stepping up to the plate is what is getting me in trouble

With stepping up to the plate I didn’t mean to say that you should do anything without her permission - quite the contrary is the case. Don’t do anything without letting her know. She’s responsible for you. If you make a mistake she’ll pay for it. Hence she wants to know what her newbie is doing which I think is understandable / reasonable. She also wants to make sure that you will learn things correctly, and this is why noone else will be training you. She does try. She knows the situation you both are in. It happened that my new assistance started working when I was on vacation. I called work and made sure that the current assistant wouldn’t train her. When I came back I took my time to train her. Every half an hour or so I asked her how she was feeling and if she felt that her head would explode she should let me know. She learned a lot, but also left work earlier the first couple of days as concentrating so many hours is exhausting. In the end it paid off. She was trained properly and she’s great. She has helped me a lot.

Yes I agree with this

Good

I think it is all in the tone of voice.

What you need is information. You don’t need the mood of the people. Filter out the mood of the people and let it roll of your back, but this only my advice to you for your future.

 

[504Katrin]

Right now, I don’t think it would be wise for me to even do that. I think it is best to just let others do things their way

An aplogy for not having been clearer, I was speaking in general with that particular sentence. No, you don’t criticise anyone but learn and do what people tell you. Once you’re more established in a company and criticism can help improve things, you keep it business. No tone in your voice. I kow you said that tone is important to you, but again, in my opinion, you shouldn’t adopt this conduct and convey your moods at work.

I agree that I should go directly to the person I have a problem with. I did not tell my manager Lisa was annoying to gossip. I was simply trying to explain that I wanted her out of my hair that is why I gave her work

I understand that. It doesn’t matter though why you said it as you simply can’t give anyone work as a newly hired employee come on Angle!

I agree but there are times where she has asked us to work on things together and we had to discuss who does what. Lisa asks me questions since I have more experience. There are times it can not be avoided

When you discuss who does what you can make suggestions to the others about the task you would like to get assigned to. Keep it at that and you will stay out of this kindof trouble.

I would love to let Lisa sit idle at HER desk. The problem is she brings her chair over and sit idle at my desk and crowds me when I want to work.

Step up to the plate and tell her that you need to focus on your job. If she starts talking tell her bluntly :”Could we move this to a later time as I have to focus right now, thank you, Lisa.”

Trust me, I would love to change my actions and do as she wants. I just have NO idea what she wants

We were working on a task and my manager exact words were ‘In a situation like this, when I don’t know what the person is requesting, I send them an email for clarification’ The next time I was doing a request and I had no idea how the person came up with the numbers, I sent an email to ask for clarification (which is what I though she wanted me to do). That is an example of her getting mad at me for asking others. At the time, I was scared if I asked her how to handle it, she would have said ‘We went over this before and you are suppose to send an email’. I did NOT want to come across as not having heard her the first time

Next time you send an email for clarification to one of your co-workers carboncopy her.

I honestly don’t know what you mean by ‘step up to the plate’. IMO that means figure it out for yourself. I am the type of person that needs a few minutes to think before I can get the exact solution. And as much as I was doing it wrong, I though it was a lot better to admit I was wrong than to criticize her ‘If you gave me more time I would have figured it out’.

No, sorry for the misunderstanding, I don’t mean to say that should figure it out by yourself. Trying to figure out things by yourself is not commendable to you. Stepping up to the plate means not to fear. You’ve got to ask questions. My advice would be this, when you receive a task ask right away when you’re together at the desk, and don’t wait until a later time so that you will have to go back into her office to ask her.

See, this is where I disagree. I have made it crystal clear I want to take responsibility and she does not want that. I get about 1 hour of work at a time. Every morning I walk in with nothing to do until she assigns something. I suspect that is because priorities are constantly changing and she wants my schedule to be flexible to put out the fire that has come up. And when I ask her questions I end up feeling so small, I am scared to go near her with my questions. I do it anyway most of the time. It is murphy’s law. The one time I REALLY should have asked I didn’t

Yep, that’s murphy’s law. You can’t always feel uncomfortable at work, Angle, or even be afraid to ask questions. This is in my opinion your collateral training, to become more self confident.

 

[504Katrin]

I read you other 2 post and I want to thank you for your honesty. It is good because I need to understand her point of view which she hasn’t explained.

And no, I will not initiate the next talk because we agreed to talk again in a few weeks and I think the best is to wait. If I ask for a talk to soon, she will feel I am being over petty always discussing everything.

However, I must say your suspicion of my manager hear me talk about Lisa before she got the email is wrong. I NEVER said anything to anyone about Lisa and during the talk my manager told me she though we were great friends because she saw us talk a lot. The ONLY reason I spend time talking to Lisa is because every time Lisa runs out of work, she stands beside me and I am trying to be polite. I do NOT seek her out

I’m glad you agree that you won’t initiate the next talk. There’s enough stuff going on already. It’s a good thing you’ve made friends at work.
Keep us posted on how it is going.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Of course, when I need something and I see that someone’s terribly busy I leave them alone and get back with them at a later time but I will get back with them at the very same day.
.

I think perhaps I need to clarify the situation. My manager tells me ‘if you are stuck come right away to ask me a question’. She does NOT want me to wait 30 minutes. But then she gets annoyed when I always ask her. She will show me something quickly, not allow me time to take sufficient notes. Also, I am the type of person who learns by reading notes (not asking others). Once she had given me a task I had not done in a couple of days. I could not remember which computer screen I needed. So I pulled up my notes and was flipping through them to figure it out. All I needed was 3 minutes to get my notes ready and I would have been good to go. Well, my manager sits right beside me. She saw I was reading my notes. So 1 minute after leaving my desk she said ‘Is there a problem’. I said I am looking up my notes to figure out what computer screen. And she told me the answer. I can’t help but think if she didn’t micromanage and allow me 3 minutes, she wouldn’t be so stressed.

In your situation, you get work by the hour, but if you make a mistake because you were afraid to ask her, then you’re doing more harm than good to the company. Would you agree that you shouldn’t keep this work ethic? .

Yes, I am trying to figure out how to ask in the less annoying way possible

She knows it. It’s not your fault. It’s not your responsibility. Focus on the things you can do and make sure you do those 100% accurate. .

I understand that. However, I have been in situations where I was told ‘Don’t worry about it I will train you later’. Six months later I still was not trained and the big wig sees I don’t know what I am doing in. Trust me, NO manager will be honest and say ‘I never trained her’. They will agree with the big wig that I am not a good worker no matter how much they know it is their fault.