What hurts so much about it though is that I didn’t show my issues in front of her. I tried to be strong and put on my happy face. She never even saw me at during my lows. It just hurts a lot. I really don’t know what to think right now.
:::::::hugs::::::::::
I am so very sorry about the pain you are in. And I am sorry she is unable to be the kind of friend that can be supportive of you, regardless of whatever medical situation you have to deal with.
No one here can really know what is in her heart or her intent. Perhaps her being Mormon has played some role in her backing away from you, or perhaps not. Mormons are very heavy into proselytizing. They are encouraged and taught to do just that. So it is possible when it became clear to her that you are not interested, well that it may have affected the dynamic of your friendship with her.
But if she doesn’t want to learn how to deal with your medical condition, that is another thing as well.
Either way, it’s really not about you. It feels that way, I know. I strongly encourage you to speak about this with your therapist. They can help you take a good look and assess what sort of options you have moving forward.
God’s blessings. Praying for you.
ETA:
I’ve gone back and read several of your posts over the past year or so. What may also be helpful to you is to find a spiritual director. Your priest can help direct in where to start looking. Being in one’s early 20’s is a very confusion time even under the best of circumstance. Perhaps rather than trying so hard to find answers, it would be a good thing to just “be” and work on your relationship with Christ. It’s the beginning of a new Fall season. Perhaps start reading one of the Gospels and tell the Lord, that, for now, you are gonna just work on your relationship with Him.
He makes THE best friend. Ever.
