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DarkLight
Guest
Not nearly far enough - maybe 30min. That’s part of why I’m still in contact. As a long-term goal I’m thinking of planning a nice interstate move. Not terribly fond of this area anyway.
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His_helpmeet
Guest
If your mom is saying that you’re the only one she can talk to, my response would be to tell her that she needs to find a therapist. If she says it’s too expensive, you can suggest she consider online counselling which is often cheaper.
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DarkLight
Guest
She has one. But a therapist won’t be on call for hours at a time whenever she wants. And she can’t yell at them if she doesn’t like the answer. I suspect that really means is “you’re the only one I think I can get to unquestioningly affirm my choices.”
But I’ve learned it doesn’t matter. If I counter one point there will be another. Or she’ll just flood me with words and then decide whatever I said was rude and doesn’t count anyway.
But I’ve learned it doesn’t matter. If I counter one point there will be another. Or she’ll just flood me with words and then decide whatever I said was rude and doesn’t count anyway.
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DarkLight
Guest
I just noticed. Apparently this post went into moderation and then was approved 4 days after I posted it? Kind of wondering how that works.
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StephieNorthCo
Guest
Hmmm. I’m wondering if s oh bee is one of those goofy keywords that kicks the post out…
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Mary67
Guest
I’m a little bit late to this post, but I totally understand. I’ve been low contact with my parents for 2 years and no contact for about 6 months. I thought I grew up in a normal family, only to grow up and realize that I was physically, and emotionally abused by my parents who both have mental health issues. As a result of this, I now have severe anxiety and depression that I battle every day. Friends see my anxiety and depression but they don’t see the story behind it because I am so scared of being seen as a “disrespectful” daughter for going no contact. I tried to reconcile the relationship for about a year before I realized that the most Christian action would be to avoid the near occasion of sin and part ways. It is also super important to burst my parent’s bubble of a “perfect family” image because only now can they see that something has gone seriously wrong. Though, tbh they have resorted to smearing me to everyone who will listen, but I digress.
As far as being worried about what other people think, it is best to not worry about that. I tried opening up to a friend about my situation and she said “I don’t know why they would do that” in a very skeptical tone. From then on, I realized that true friends will support you when you need support. Those who do not believe you or who blame you are not truly for you. This even applies to extended family. The only people you should keep close to you are those who will pray for you, love you, and encourage you in the good times and bad.
Do what is best for your health. Also, try to find out what your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score is. It may help you in processing your childhood. I will pray for you! God bless!
As far as being worried about what other people think, it is best to not worry about that. I tried opening up to a friend about my situation and she said “I don’t know why they would do that” in a very skeptical tone. From then on, I realized that true friends will support you when you need support. Those who do not believe you or who blame you are not truly for you. This even applies to extended family. The only people you should keep close to you are those who will pray for you, love you, and encourage you in the good times and bad.
Do what is best for your health. Also, try to find out what your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score is. It may help you in processing your childhood. I will pray for you! God bless!
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DarkLight
Guest
Thanks! The ACE score doesn’t really deal well with families like mine, from what I’ve seen. Families like mine tend more to what’s called enmeshment than to neglect. The way I’ve heard it put, it’s more that it creates an unhealthy emotional dependence of the adult on the child. So it turns a lot of kids being kids and just being separate people, into an offense against the adult.Do what is best for your health. Also, try to find out what your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score is. It may help you in processing your childhood. I will pray for you! God bless!
So for me as a kid, I don’t remember punishments themselves being out of the norm. It was more that things were set up so anything could be a sign of disrespect or rebellion that you could get in trouble for. So I’d end up constantly in trouble for “sass” or something and often really not sure what I was supposed to have done. As an adult it kind of manifested as I’m supposed to be her best friend ever who does all the things when she wants someone to do things with and listens to all her problems for as long as she wants - and never ever disagrees with her or has problems of my own or anything like that. Anything less means I’m being cruel to her for no reason.
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lilypadrees
Guest
Regarding the police coming to your door, perhaps you ought to let them do that. I guarantee you, if the police get enough of these calls from your family and they consistently see that you’re alright, they (the police) will be able to see for themselves who is overreacting especially if you alert them to the fact that your family refuses to accept that you don’t want to continue this toxic relationship.
If you continue, it will come to the point where you have to cut all ties with them for your own sanity and piece of mind.
Been there. Done that.
If you continue, it will come to the point where you have to cut all ties with them for your own sanity and piece of mind.
Been there. Done that.