I think I'm falling for my non-Catholic best friend?

[punisherthunder]

If you can’t be with him because of your religion, then that’s exactly what you say.

I had an ex g/f who told me something similar. She refused to accept the Catholic Church on any level (She was hardcore Baptist), citing among other things: too much ritual, no emotional praise or dancing, Bible with “added” books, no fun or games with the congregation . I even introduced her to the parish priest and she refused to call him “Father Tim” and instead called him “Mister Tim”. You can see what I was painfully dealing with.

In the long run it’s not worth the hassle. Plus if he’s an atheist then it will be ten times harder trying to get him to be open to the Church.

 

[Boatswain2PA]

When I met my wife, an INCREDIBLY devout (and beautifully flawed) Catholic, I was lost somewhere between atheist/agnostic/completely pissed off at God for allowing utterly terrible things to happen on Earth.

She led me to the Church, which led me to a growing (but still absolutely imperfect) relationship with God.

While I’m sure she prayed for my healing and conversion, it wasn’t a quid-pro-quo.

Hope that different perspective helps you.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I would take my time with this person and really try to set a good and honest example for him of living your faith as it’s not like you are getting engaged. The question you have to ask is will this person help you with your spiritual life rather than is he Catholic, for example a lukewarm Catholic might look ok on paper but may not actually be able to support your faith.

 

[awistfulrose]

When I met my wife, an INCREDIBLY devout (and beautifully flawed) Catholic, I was lost somewhere between atheist/agnostic/completely pissed off at God for allowing utterly terrible things to happen on Earth.

She led me to the Church, which led me to a growing (but still absolutely imperfect) relationship with God.

While I’m sure she prayed for my healing and conversion, it wasn’t a quid-pro-quo.

Hope that different perspective helps you.

That’s inspiring!!! Could you tell me more about how you got from agnostic/atheist to Catholic?

My parents were both converts. My mom found the faith first, and it took my dad ten years after her conversion to turn to God, so I grew up in a home with only one Catholic parent for a long while. It is possible for a mixed marriage to work, and you can still pass on the faith to your children, as much as it’s difficult.

I’ll just have to keep my ears open to God and see what He wants me to do…

 

[rafarose]

Echoing what has been said already, but I wonder whether you share the same values with him despite having different belief systems? I have read about couples who shared similar values but different belief systems and managed to make it work. My advice for you is to accept the situation and who he is right now. Do you think it’s worth pursuing a serious relationship with someone who may never become a practicing Catholic? It’s your decision, really. You could spend your time and energy praying for his conversion, but things may not go as you hope or plan them to be in your mind. I say offer his intentions to God but keeping in mind that praying for someone consistently could make you even more attached to the person (speaking of experience).

I know it bothers you right now, that he’s not Catholic and you probably think (?) that this is the only thing getting into the way of you being with him. You probably feel helpless, there isn’t anything that could change the situation besides praying for him. But really, there may be other things you discover that will bother you about his worldviews (e.g. views about marriage, sexuality, value of life and etc.) should you pursue this. Your worldviews may clash (or not). I don’t want to make assumptions about this person, and if did i apologize, but I hope the questions I pose help you make your decision.

Praying for you

 

[Boatswain2PA]

That’s inspiring!!! Could you tell me more about how you got from agnostic/atheist to Catholic?

My parents were both converts. My mom found the faith first, and it took my dad ten years after her conversion to turn to God, so I grew up in a home with only one Catholic parent for a long while. It is possible for a mixed marriage to work, and you can still pass on the faith to your children, as much as it’s difficult.

I’ll just have to keep my ears open to God and see what He wants me to do…

Grew up biblically literate and believing in God, but didn’t go to church. In my first career I saw some terrible things and couldn’t believe a loving God would allow such things to happen. So…I got mad at God, or just started believing He wasn’t really there. Of course, this led to lots of problems in my life, including being in an absolute terrible marriage.

About 2 weeks after my (now-ex) wife packed up her van and moved 8 states away, leaving me with my young children…I met my now wife. She was widowed 12 years before and had raised 2 boys (who are now outstanding young men). We connected, we started dating and dated through my divorce.

During our dating I started going to mass with her, and I LOVED IT! The history, the TRUTH, the symbolism, the intentionality (if that’s a word) of it.

Then we actually broke up, and I found that I really needed God. I couldn’t really go to her home parish because I would inevitably run into someone in her family (HUUUUGGGGEEEE and awesome Catholic family), so I started going to another parish.

Then I met another Godly woman, Sister Connie, and we started talking about RCIA. Several times she turned me into a blubbering crying mess in her office as we talked about the reasons I ran from God (and if you knew what I looked like, and my background…that’s not a pretty picture).

So, I started going through RCIA at the other parish (with Sr. Connie). The moment that pushed me over the edge, and made me realize how ridiculous it was for ME to be MAD at GOD was when we went over the reading about Jesus healing the blind man. When asked what sins this man’s parent’s had done to cause his blindness (a devastating affliction, especially back then)…Jesus said the man was born blind so that the Grace of God could be experienced.

I lost it. Finally…I had a reason that I could wrap my feeble little mind around. Maybe, just maybe, God allows terrible things to happen so that His grace could be experienced. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen survivors, or families of victims, turn to God in times of crisis.

My divorce was finalized, and my (now) wife and I started dating again. I was fortunate to receive an annullment (another reason I love the Catholic Church…not because I GOT an annullment, but rather because the Church makes you GET one, effectively SUEING your (ex)-spouse for divorce instead of just “getting divorced”).

I was brought into the Church on Easter, asked her father for permission, she said yes, and we got married.

She is a wonderful Catholic woman,and I think she saved my life…and hopefully helped save my soul.

Okay, long rant there, but I like sharing it. I love the Catholic Church.