I think I've committed a mortal sin

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annamc

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I think I have committed a mortal sin. I’m not married and continue to have relations with my fiance. I love my fiance. However my priest has warned me against him. He’s a non believer and has some serious drug issues.
I need to go to Confession, but I’m scared to. I’m scared of getting excommunicated, judgment from my priest (I get a vibe he doesnt like me as much as he likes others), and I’ve committed this sin (among) others multiple times. I feel like a broken record in Confession bc it’s always the same sin.
I love my church. I love my faith. I’m just not sure what to do.
 
Go to confession. Your priest wants to help you. It seems he’s already given you some good advice, as you’ve mentioned a few concerning things with regards to this relationship.

You won’t get excommunicated. You won’t be judged. Confession is for being helped by the grace of God.

Feel free to PM me if I may be of help.

You are in my prayers
Fr ACEGC
 
you are not going to get excommunicated.

no one will judge you, heaven knows, many people fall in to this sin. Confession will cleanse your sould, I am sure everyone on here will tell you, my self included, that I find myself confessing the same sins all the time too, just keep going back, once day you will break it, God will give you that grace

but since you know it’s wrong, yes, you should stop, and it is grave matter.

personal feelings aside, I can’t comment on whether or not your priest likes others more than you, it may not be true, but even if it is, I would strongly recommend sitting down and taking time to reflect on your relation with your fiancé. if he really does have a swerious drug issue, then your priest is correct to be concerned, this would be huge red flag for a potential marriage, so is the fact that you find yourself habitually falling in to sin when you are with him, ultimately, your spouse is supposed to e helping lead you to God, not away from him.
 
This is a very personal question and you should be careful about what kinds of advice you get her

The primary response will be to see your local priest and ask for assistance.

Theologically, look at the last verse of the gospel of John. It says that if all the things that Jesus did were written down, they would fill all the books of the world. My spin interpretation of this is: see what Christ has done in your fiance’s life and you have to make a decision whether he is the perfect match for you.

Paragraph 1735 of the Catechism states conditions when a grave action may make you less responsible for the action. So, if you are socially pressured into this ongoing activity, your “culpability” (or guilt) may not rise to the level of a mortal sin.

The touchy subject is who is going to change? you or your fiance? You are planning to spend a long life together (presumably) and you should push spirituality to the top of your agenda for finding a spouse. Many marriages end up in divorce, a big percentage, like 50%. So, it only HELPS to look ahead. What has Christ done in YOUR life and in your fiance’s life.

Are you on the same “page?”
 
I would hold off on getting married until your fiancé gets to rehab - you don’t want to be bringing children into that situation. Stop sleeping with him and go to confession when you can xxx
 
listen to the priest on this thread who is
edward_george1
 
Yes premarital sex is grave matter. Stop having sex with your fiancé.

Listen to your priest. Why would you want to marry someone with “serious drug issues”? You needed the solid advice your priest gave you.

Your priest cannot excommunicate you, and the sin you refer to is not one that incurs excommunication.

You sound like you have anxiety, you are placing motives on your priest that you have no evidence of— stop making up ideas in your head about him not liking you as much as others. You are projecting.
 
Just a thought…while you may feel that for yourself, you can live with your fiance’s lack of faith and his drug issues, think of your children. Innocent and entirely dependent upon their parents, with no other resources. They will feel the effects and live with the effects, likely to their detriment.

Drug problems don’t fix themselves and people don’t simply age out of them. I am a recovering addict and will be for the rest of my life. It requires a daily commitment to live a different life based on principles rather than self will.

Honestly, the fact that you are with a person with serious drug issues, and that you keep sinning with him in spite of your faith makes me wonder if you may have codependency issues. It would be good to look into that and address it if it’s true for you. You will create a better life for yourself and any future children.
 
Hello.

There’s some good advice here. I know it’s easy to give advice, but I was once, long ago, in similar circumstances. Geographical distance might help - and what I mean by that is to move - get therapy, join a support group - I went to a lot of Al-Anon meetings. Also, realize that you’re going to feel bad for a while, and that’s okay. Time heals that.

I so thank God these days that I didn’t marry the drug addict I was dating way back then or the alcoholic. Things change after you get married and there’s nothing like a good, kind, responsible spouse.

I also found I was emotionally addicted to the addict, and I had to address this. This was very soul-shattering, but God can get you through it, if you let Him. Nothing is impossible with God.

Also, try to get to daily Mass, read lots of good spiritual Catholic books (ones with the Nihil Obstat and an Imprimatur), block, delete names on your social media & on your phone, get lots of exercise … And keep going to Mass as often as possible as well as going to Confession. And resist the urge to check up on the person after you’ve left.

My two cents, please ignore if this isn’t helpful.

You are in my prayers.
 
I’ll tell you what someone told me. While it’s normal to be frustrated at falling into the same sins all the time do you really want to go to confession with new sins each time instead?
 
See before marriage is not an excommunicable offense. If possible, receive confession with another priest you are more comfortable talking to.
 
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