I think my marriage is ending

  • Thread starter Thread starter Pinkyyy
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And I really think that it’s not Pinkyyy who should leave the house with her child, but rather the abuser should be forced to move out of there, immediately. That’s why Pinkyyy needs the professionals from that safeplace phone number and the police, to make it happen. I cannot imagine the law not giving priority to an abused mother and her child, when it comes to who should stay and who should move out.

This guy is another one of those who make you shake your head in unbelief - how can a human being get so low? After he keeps a list of not one but ten (10) strip clubs, he has the gall to ask his wife and child to leave the house?? :mad: Let him leave the house, or let him be evicted by the police, and let Pinkyyy with the child stay there and enjoy some peace!
 
Joseph_L_Varga said:
And I really think that it’s not Pinkyyy who should leave the house with her child, but rather the abuser should be forced to move out of there, immediately. That’s why Pinkyyy needs the professionals from that safeplace phone number and the police, to make it happen. I cannot imagine the law not giving priority to an abused mother and her child, when it comes to who should stay and who should move out.

This guy is another one of those who make you shake your head in unbelief - how can a human being get so low? After he keeps a list of not one but ten (10) strip clubs, he has the gall to ask his wife and child to leave the house?? :mad: Let him leave the house, or let him be evicted by the police, and let Pinkyyy with the child stay there and enjoy some peace!
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JLV has it exactly right, Pinkyyy. Get the help to get him out of the house. I know it feels almost impossible to start taking action in that direction. I was in your place once too, a deer in the headlights… See my post here… forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=98027 from more than 3 years ago.

I want you to know that I have a restraining order against my now ex and I was the one who stayed in the house. I receive spousal and child support and now work full time at a job I love. We are divorced, and our marriage was found to be not valid by a tribunal.

Please understand that not only do you not have to put up with the way your husband is treating you, you have a grave responsibility to NOT put up with it. When I talked to my priest, he actually gave me a deadline to stop trying to make it work and to leave. It is really, really important that you take those concrete steps.
 
Didn’t you write about your problems more or less half a year ago - and then me and some other people advised you to seek counselling. I think you have done nothing.

Well, it might not pertain to you, but think about it - one priest, a very good preacher and a cousellor quoted some research done in Austria that most of the women who have alcoholic husbands do not really want their husbands to quit drinking… why? if the husband quit drinking, she would maybe have to take care of herself, she would have to take responsibility for her life instead of whining and complaining to everyone around about how they are mistreated, they would not have a reason to seek sympathy from friends but maybe instead give a helping hand to others. Another priest, a Jesuit, wrote that psychologists say that most of the sick people do not want to get well, they want to just feel better with their sickeness. Jesus asked that man who was in the Temple waiting for the Angel to move the waters -'Do you want to get well?" well, do you? Or you just wish that nothing changes but you just want to feel a little better, your husband to be slightly less abusive, so that you could carry on like it is?

Well, it is up to you if you are going to do something or write here again after half a year, if your husband is still with you - and seek for the sympathy. Probaby you will get it, but where is the point?
 
reginacaeli said:
I’ve also heard it recommended for you to start keeping a journal of the days, times, places of abuse to help you later. This man is a stranger. You’re a reporter, reporting on him. Matter-of-factly, with as little emotion as possible. This will help you remember later.
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This is GREAT advice, and exactly what I was going to suggest - although Regina stated it much better than I could have. And with a great example.

Please take care of your family by protecting yourself and your son. This is the best thing you can do for your husband. From what you say, he is not well, whether this is mental illness, phsycial problems, or just poor decision making - and he may not be capable of safely being around his loved ones. Don’t let him hurt the most precious things in his life - you and his son - even if he doesn’t seem to be aware of how precious you both are. Follow the advice you are being given. This sounds like a situation where forcing him to leave through the appropriate legal channels is the best way to love him. And you will be much healthier yourself once you have some room to get over the fear and anger you must be feeling right now.

May Christ be with you in this difficult time.
 
As hard as it is… take that first step on your journey away from this man you no longer know/trust/understand.

I know how hard this is to do - I am in the process myself. As a mother you **must **protect your son from his father’s behavior. Children are like sponges. Remove the drama and fear from both of your lives and lean on God.

Ask God for peace in your life and he will lead you. Do not forget that you are precious to him and he will never leave you. Pray for your husband but put him in God’s hands. You can do no more without losing yourself completely.

Also… PLEASE keep the journal of conversations, events, etc. I have and continue to do this myself. During this highly emotionally charged period you MUST keep good notes. I thank God for my notes taken the first few months of my separation. I use them to remind myself of the TRUTH of dh’s personality, deceptiveness and manipulations when i feel weak. I am also using them to help me focus while I answer tribunal questions. They are invaluable. Do IT.
 
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