I think my nephew is gay

[Annn]

The choice thing always confused me. I’ve had a lesbian friend tell me point blank, she chose to be a lesbian and knows it will send her to hell.

Her girlfriend says she had no choice.

A bisexual friend of mine says people can go straight, gay, bi and back and forth more times than I’ve gone through religions and socks combined and it still not be a choice… :banghead:

Very frustrating!

I know a lot of queer people; the only one who has ever indicated having any choice was violently assaulted by a man and is afraid of intimacy with men, and finds women more comforting. I did not choose to be gay. But I am. I have five younger siblings and they’re straight, as far as I can tell. We were raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school. My parents are pretty awesome and have a very strong marriage. I had no control over this.

 

[sanctamaria17]

I didn’t choose to be bi and I am. I’m still chaste, but I’m also out. My parents are straight, sibs are straight, I’m just not and I have to accept that.

I don’t believe I’m disordered. If my actions are wrong, then they’re wrong, so I won’t do them if they’re wrong. I believe God gave me a unique struggle but so does He to all of us. But it has not affected my ability to function, so I don’t believe homosexuality is a disorder. I’m not hurting anyone with attractions to women (which, btw, I didn’t choose). I still am chaste, I still strive to be a good person, I pray, I work my butt off in both school and work, and I have the same dreams as anyone else. I’m not more inclined to commit pedophilia, seriously, that is just sick and inaccurate. I’m not promiscuous, I’m not HIV+, I don’t partake in anything considered sexually deviant or immoral, yet I’m still bi. It doesn’t change who I am, it’s just a part of me and it doesn’t affect my ability to be a good Catholic or a good person (that’s just original sin in general )

 

[bpbasilphx]

**
if you really trhink he’s gay pray for him, that he never chooses to be so,**

I’ve never met anyone who chose to be gay–or to be heterosexual, for that matter.

 

[iluvmybabies]

One of my cousins, not blood cousins, but by marriage, is extremely sensitive, very well educated, polite, super organized, neat, well dressed and spoken, and always very expressive. Sweet to everyone, kind, and loving, he is great to anyone and everyone no matter if man or woman…

BUT EVERYONE AROUND ME THINKS HE’S GAY!!!

He fell in love with me but was too shy to tell me, and I mean I don’t know him as family more than friend so it wouldn’t have been anything bad…He finally told me after I was married that I should have married him!! But I think he was joking!!! lol…Anyhow, he’s 31+ and still not married.

He has gone around the world pretty much, he’s an artist and has a high paying job, very professional!..when I first met him I thought he was too, I was 16…he was 18…graduating from hs…But I felt salty after he told he told me he loved girls…but never had a chance at a good or real relationship…

I hope to GOD he finds the right woman and someone that will treat him well because let me tell you he will make any woman happy!!!

So don’t always assume things, if you need to talk to him go for it and talk to him, have a heart to heart, I did with my cousin, to break the ice I asked if he ever had a girlfriend and he straight out said yes but that no good relationships…and that he was waiting for the right one…I was 18 and he was 20…

If he did change his mind may GOD help him and forgive him, we are not perfect and make mistakes, but so far I know he’s straight…

Good luck!! and God bless your nephew, you and your loved ones!!

 

[truagape]

Back to the issue…

Dermot, I can understand your sadness. I too would not be surprised if my nephew “outed” himself. Right now he is “finding himself” aka drifting between jobs and sometimes school. Grandma thinks he’d “make a fine priest.” When we see a loved one struggle with these issues, it can be heart breaking, just as it is difficult to watch any loved one struggle in life with a number of life issues.

I pray for my nephew. My home is open to him when he wants to visit. I love my nephew. I don’t know if there is more to do.

Actually, there’s a lot more you can do. You could start by giving your nephew the respect of digging deeper in learning the truth about homosexuality and his loving heavenly Father. I’m sure your nephew as well as every other gay person has already been forced to carry the shame, the guilt, and the misrepresentations that society and everything outside of scripture has thrown at him, at some point or another. Whether it be from the pulpit, misinformed Christians, or just unChristlike people in general. No wonder many gay people hide themselves inside themselves. If your nephew has been aware of the stigmatization many “Christians” have given gay people, then he, because of whom he should love, has been compared and associated with the wicked people of Sodom, whose punishment was fire and brimstone. He’s been equated with murderers and perverts as also not being worthy of God’s Kingdom. And if he’s familiar with some of the early catholic documents, he’ll find that people like him are classified has being the “worst of all vices” (or something to that effect). And these guilty, unbiblical views have made a heavy imprint within the long years of religious history. Of course all of these perspectives are the inventions of man, and none of them relate to the truth and facts as contained within scripture itself. I think that at the very least you owe it to your nephew to do just as the ancient Boreans did in the book of Acts and dig deeper instead of merely taking what you may have been taught for granted. I think that at the very least, he deserves that, don’t you?