I want my parents to get married by church, what do I do?

[Don_Ruggero]

As a Grandma, I can certainly understand. I want my grandson to marry his girlfriend. They have a baby. Both my grandson and his girl friend have brought to their relationship tremendous baggage. Their lives have been rocky - to say the least. Because of this, they see no reason to marry. To them marriage is just an excuse to get a divorce. (Unfortunately many couples feel this way)

I love them both dearly and they know that Grandma wants them to get married. But, I have learned that people have their own journey to make.

Sometimes that journey leads down many dark roads but these roads are also made with lights to lead them out. Trust that God has plan for them and you can trust that He knows and understands what is truly going on in their hearts. He knows the struggles that need to be overcome before they can start the journey back to Him.

Trust that God knows these reasons. You have done your part. Continue to pray. continue to hope. Live your own life in joy and peace. By trusting in God, by loving God, by loving your mother, father and siblings perhaps you can bring this hope and love to them.

Still, you are not responsible for their mistakes and in the long run they will not be responsible for your mistakes. And, sweetheart, you like all the rest of us, will make your share of mistakes. This is why our Sweet Jesus came to Earth. Cling to Him. Trust Him.

This advice is beautiful.

We have to remember that Jesus became incarnate, lived among us, taught us by word and example, and died for us because He loves us. He loves us more than we love each other. He loves your parents more than you do.

We pray. We offer sacrifice. Sometimes our desire to help bring someone close to the Lord can actually have the opposite effect – and we have to be conscious of that.

I don’t know your parents’ situation. You have described a situation of internal disharmony that, frankly, as a priest I would be very reluctant to convalidate the marriage (if they were married outside the Church and thus it is a lack of canonical form case) or to marry them if they are living together. In order to marry them, there has to be stable situation, which is not what I am reading at all.

Also, frankly, it is not the role of the child to shepherd his parents…it is the role of the parents to raise their children. Introducing a reverse dynamic to the parent child relationship is its own invitation to chaos, spiritually and psychologically…especially if you are young and even very young.

 

[Mi_Rose]

Pray, pray and then pray some more as others have said. These are your parents. They know how you feel. Now it is up to them and God.

 

[The_Apostolate]

Pray the Rosary,and ask Our Lady too help both off them,and continue tell it happens,also pray to St Anthony ,he too never fails too come too someone aid.May you keep tour Faith strong during these times your going threw. AMEN :bible1:

 

[hausofferni]

Thank you all very much for all the wonderful advices you have given. I will keep praying, and trusting in God. God bless!

 

[PelagiathePenit]

My parents sadly are both in state of mortal sin, and after years of family begging them to get married, I want them to. I’ve told them, as well as many others that they either get married, or split. Their souls are at risk. But I don’t know what to do? My mother is scared that if she gets married, that later on she can’t get divorced if something goes wrong. My father is a very strict, non-affection showing man, he doesn’t talk much , and what does come out of his mouth is usually about discipline, God, etc. sometimes they argue and my mom is unhappy because she feels under appreciated by my father, so she says she doesn’t want to get married if she knows she won’t be happy. My father on the other hand loves her and my siblings very much, even though he doesn’t show it. He will cry sometimes because he doesn’t know why he us the way he is, and he says he can’t live without my mom or his family. But what should I do from here? Is there a patron saint that would apply to this? Should I do many sacrifices, penance, prayers etc? I don’t want them to go to hell, I want to see them receive Holy Communion, I want the devil out of our home. Please help.

“marry or split”? I cannot believe you told your parents this. It is commendable you care for their souls. How old are you? I do not think it is your place go say that or for anyone. This is what I cannot stand up close knit families there are no boundaries. God’s greatest commandment is not to admonish the sinner. There are seven acts of mercy. I think some people are hell bent on correcting every injustice they see. As for your parents, use wisdom to approach the issue and be patient and pray. Do not pressure them.

 

[Louman127]

My parents sadly are both in state of mortal sin, and after years of family begging them to get married, I want them to. I’ve told them, as well as many others that they either get married, or split. Their souls are at risk. But I don’t know what to do? My mother is scared that if she gets married, that later on she can’t get divorced if something goes wrong. My father is a very strict, non-affection showing man, he doesn’t talk much , and what does come out of his mouth is usually about discipline, God, etc. sometimes they argue and my mom is unhappy because she feels under appreciated by my father, so she says she doesn’t want to get married if she knows she won’t be happy. My father on the other hand loves her and my siblings very much, even though he doesn’t show it. He will cry sometimes because he doesn’t know why he us the way he is, and he says he can’t live without my mom or his family. But what should I do from here? Is there a patron saint that would apply to this? Should I do many sacrifices, penance, prayers etc? I don’t want them to go to hell, I want to see them receive Holy Communion, I want the devil out of our home. Please help.

This answer is based on what knowledge I have from what the poster has described. I don’t who they are but this what came to me so figure it be best I put it. This is just advice I might say to my parents of they were in this situation.

Yes, do many sacrifices and penances and prayers that you can. Pray as many Rosaries as you can during the day. Offer them all up for your parents to become Catholic. Your father sounds like he has a good heart but can’t express it. He feels held back but certainly has love in his heart. He may be subconsciously uncomfortable and does not want to be vulnerable enough to allow the love he feels to pour forth from him.

If he has expressed this to you in his own way you can make a suggestion by you opening up to him by saying something along the lines of this: “Dad I know it is eating away at you the way you feel. You cannot express the deep love you have. You cannot allow your love to pour forth from you like a waterfall. You don’t why you are the way you are? I can tell you. I have told you and mom numerous times about the way you are living. And the way you are living is known to be objectively sinful. I cannot judge the state of your soul but you need to be honest with your own self and embrace the truth. Sin eats away at person no matter who they are. If you want to break from the your jail of your own self listen to me. Finally submit to the church and its teachings and obey and you will know how to love correctly. If you do not, undoubtedly the relationship you are in will deteriorate further. However if you submit to the church you will be given grace, you will change, and mother will see the change.”

Say something like this or let him read from the site. The relationship will ultimately fail if grace cannot enter it.

What it comes down to is he will need to humble himself in more ways than one. However the fruit of his humility will be a better father and a better husband.

He has to be the spiritual leader of the house. That’s great he talks about God but, he needs to be a leader and lead by humble example.

Jesus is humble and He is True God and True Man.

(Disclaimer: This is what I would say based on what the poster described. So please do not attempt to attack me on advice given on the forum. Advice is afterall what the poster is asking for.)