I want to baptise my nephew

[AnnieM]

I am fully prepared to take responsibility for his Christian upbringing and making sure he receives the rest of his sacraments. What do you all think of this? He is 10 months old. He is my brother’s son, born out of wedlock, and his parents cohabitate. In order to appease, they claim that they are going to have him baptised, but they just don’t have the time. I think that they may be members of a local Parish, but they rarely attend Mass.

This is what the Cathechism says: 1256 The ordinary ministers of Baptism are the bishop and priest and, in the Latin Church, also the deacon.[57] In case of necessity, any person, even someone not baptized, can baptize, if he has the required intention. The intention required is to will to do what the Church does when she baptizes, and to apply the Trinitarian baptismal formula. The Church finds the reason for this possibility in the universal saving will of God and the necessity of Baptism for salvation.[58]

I know in my heart that this will not anger my brother or his girlfriend. What would you do?

Love,
Annie

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

NO

You cannot Baptize except in the case of danger of death.

 

[AnnieM]

Can you direct me where the guidlines for that are, or is that just accepted knowledge? The Catechism says “In case of necessity…” I would feel horrible if he died without baptism. Even believing that God would have mercy in him. I mean, we never know when we are going to die. I don’t know.

Could I take him to my priest and have him baptised with their consent? I am fully prepared to raise him in the faith until they are ready to take over that responsibility (if ever!) Does that make a difference?

Thanks for your help in advance.

Love,
Annie

 

[rfk]

You’ll be breaking Canon Law unless the child is in danger of death. First, it is clear that the parents must consent, unless there is danger of death.

Can. 868 §1 For an infant to be baptized lawfully it is required:

1° that the parents, or at least one of them, or the person who lawfully holds their place, give their consent;

2° that there be a well*founded hope that the child will be brought up in the catholic religion. If such hope is truly lacking, the baptism is, in accordance with the provisions of particular law, to be deferred and the parents advised of the reason for this.

§2 An infant of catholic parents, indeed even of non-Catholic parents, may in danger of death be baptized even if the parents are opposed to it.

Further, the parents must do more than just consent, they must be properly prepared:

Can. 851 The celebration of baptism should be properly prepared. Accordingly:

2° the parents of a child who is to be baptized, and those who are to undertake the office of sponsors, are to be suitably instructed on the meaning of this sacrament and the obligations attaching to it. The parish priest is to see to it that either he or others duly prepare the parents, by means of pastoral advice and indeed by prayer together; a number of families might be brought together for this purpose and, where possible, each family visited.

Also, the baptism must take place in their local parish, unless there is a “grave reason”. Your brother being a nitwit doesn’t sound like a grave reason. Your nephew being close to death would be. So you can’t simply “sneak in” a baptism when you are over babysitting. That would be an offense against the sacrament, the Church’s law, and an offense against your brother’s parental right to consent.

Can. 857 §1 Apart from a case of necessity, the proper place for baptism is a church or an oratory.

Can. 860 §1 Apart from a case of necessity, baptism is not to be conferred in private houses, unless the local Ordinary should for a grave reason permit it.

§2 Unless the diocesan Bishop has decreed otherwise, baptism is not to be conferred in hospital, except in a case of necessity or for some other pressing pastoral reason.

Your brother, however, is clearly in the wrong. You can properly encourage him to get on the ball and fulfill his duty under Church law.

Can. 867 §1 Parents are obliged to see that their infants are baptized within the first few weeks. As soon as possible after the birth, indeed even before it, they are to approach the parish priest to ask for the sacrament for their child, and to be themselves duly prepared for it.

§2 If the infant is in danger of death, it is to be baptized without any delay.

 

[rfk]

Finally, one of the (many) beautiful things about the sacrament of Baptism is the act of community members vowing to assist this child in the faith. That is one reason we chose to baptize our children in front of the whole parish at Sunday Mass, instead of a little private Saturday affair. Don’t rob the child of those graces.

 

[AnnieM]

Thank you, Bob. I’ll do my very best through example, prayer and encouragement to guide my brother in regard to the baptism of his son. I will fall short of referring to him as a “nitwit”, as I don’t feel that would be very charitable.

Love,
Annie

 

[Marie]

AnnieM:

Could I take him to my priest and have him baptised with their consent? I am fully prepared to raise him in the faith until they are ready to take over that responsibility (if ever!) Does that make a difference?

Thanks for your help in advance.

Love,
Annie

Technically yes, with their consent you may take him to a priest for baptism if you agree to teach him the faith in their stead. But again that would take their full co-operation and if they co-operate then there would be no necessity for your doing so.

Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Pastoralis Actio, Oct. 20th, 1980, No. 28.2: Assurances must be given that this gift will be able so to grow through a genuine education in faith and in Christian living, that the sacrament may attain its full “truth.” As a rule, these assurances are to be given by the parents or relatives, although they can be supplied in various ways within the Christian community. If, on the other hand, these assurances are not in reality serious, that fact can be reason for postponing the sacrament. Finally, if it is certain that there are no assurances, the sacrament must be denied.

 

[EENS]

The Catechism says “In case of necessity…” I would feel horrible if he died without baptism. Even believing that God would have mercy in him.

Those who die without the Sacrament of Baptism cannot come to a forgiveness of Original Sin.

 

[Marie]

EENS:

Those who die without the Sacrament of Baptism cannot come to a forgiveness of Original Sin.

We are discussing Catholic teaching on Baptism. The above is Not quite true EENS. Holy Mother Church infallibly teaches thus:

CCC:

1257 The Lord himself affirms that Baptism is necessary for salvation.60 He also commands his disciples to proclaim the Gospel to all nations and to baptize them.61 Baptism is necessary for salvation for those to whom the Gospel has been proclaimed and who have had the possibility of asking for this sacrament.62 The Church does not know of any means other than Baptism that assures entry into eternal beatitude; this is why she takes care not to neglect the mission she has received from the Lord to see that all who can be baptized are “reborn of water and the Spirit.” God has bound salvation to the sacrament of Baptism, but he himself is not bound by his sacraments.

1260 "Since Christ died for all, and since all men are in fact called to one and the same destiny, which is divine, we must hold that the Holy Spirit offers to all the possibility of being made partakers, in a way known to God, of the Paschal mystery."63 Every man who is ignorant of the Gospel of Christ and of his Church, but seeks the truth and does the will of God in accordance with his understanding of it, can be saved. It may be supposed that such persons would have desired Baptism explicitly if they had known its necessity.

1261 As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,"64 allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism.

1283 With respect to children who have died without Baptism, the liturgy of the Church invites us to trust in God’s mercy and to pray for their salvation.

 

[rfk]

AnnieM:

Thank you, Bob. I’ll do my very best through example, prayer and encouragement to guide my brother in regard to the baptism of his son.

Terrific, I support your chosen plan. I will also pray for your nephew.

AnnieM:

I will fall short of referring to him as a “nitwit”, as I don’t feel that would be very charitable.

Well, you made me chuckle. Yes, there are times I feel my siblings are acting … well, let’s just say they are making poor choices. I agree that biting my lip and acting charitably is often the best answer. Even if correcting them is appropriate, I can try to do so charitably.

 

[Deacon2006]

This happens quite frequently and usually it is a grandparent who wants to get the child baptised and the parents are the stumbling block.

The Church expects that all children baptised will be raised within the Catholic Church. The problem is that as long as you brother is living in a state of perpetual sin it is highly unlikely that the child will be raised Catholic no matter how well intentioned the Godparent.

In situations like this the Priest/Deacon would normally postpone baptizing the child until the parent(s) have had adequate time to modify their life and reflect on the solemnity of what is asked from the Church.

Some ministers are much less thoughtfull and have a no questions asked approach. It is not unheard of shopping the baptism around until you find a pastor willing to do it. The baptism will be valid but I really have to wonder what really has been accomplished by profaning the sacrament.

I suggest that you pray for the conversion of your brother. I also suggest that you live a life of solid Christian example and by all means do not despair for your nephew. Pray always for him and trust in the Lord. Your Faith, Hope and Love is a gift and to share it ask Jesus to build it in your brother and nephew as he grows. Trust in Jesus to make all things right and part of that trust is being a constant witness to your brother.

God Bless

 

[AnnieM]

Thank you all! I have a very close relationship with “the mother of my nephew.” She seems to respect me, so I guide her as much as I possibly can. I’m starting a little Bible group in my home, and she has agreed to come. Pray for us!

Love,
Annie