I want to come back to the Church, wife and family are anti-Catholic

[Kal2012]

1. Be honest about where you are at spiritually.
2. Be clear about how much you love her, but also love the Catholic church.
3. Go to mass when you can. Explain that you can accept her where she’s at, but that she also has to accept you where you are at.

My husband and I disagreed for most of our marriage over church. However, he never insisted I become Catholic and he made it clear that the only Protestant church that he’d probably go to with me was the Lutheran church. (I was not a Lutheran).

I eventually decided to convert to Catholicism, but it wasn’t through anything my husband did.

I still have dreams about my husband attending mass with me. He’s just not the church goer in the family.

Things will change in your family, but it will go a lot better if you keep the lines of communication open.

 

[Lou2U]

Thanks all for the responses. It has been really encouraging.

I have read Rome Sweet Home and have given my copy to her but she hasn’t touched it yet. Hopefully she will eventually.

Yes, I was absolutely deceptive. It is shameful. So I’m going to have to eat crow and figure out how to work all of this out.

The best thing for you to do now is to be honest with her. Keep discussing it with her, invite her to go to Mass with you. If you can go to her service without getting her hopes up that you will change your mind, I think you should.

Another thing - actions speak louder than words. So discuss it, but don’t talk about if she she doesn’t want to. Do what you can to show her similarities between the person she married and you. Always love her, and do what you can to make sure she knows you still love her.

Lou

 

[dedo]

Hi all!

I need some advice/encouragement, badly.

A previous post of mine explains the situation in detail. Essentially, I left the Church to marry my wife, actually bought into Protestantism for a bit, but am now feeling strongly called back to the Church.

The problem is, every time I bring it up to my wife, she ends up crying. She’s a very devout Baptist and was raised anti-Catholic. Her family are all anti-Catholic as well. So I’m between a rock and a hard place, as it were. I have made up my mind regarding the falsehood of Protestantism but I’m having such a difficult time showing her. She remains closed off to the idea and gets very uncomfortable when I bring it up.

So, between her being brought to tears whenever the topic comes up, and knowing that I’m going to have to deal with her anti-Catholic family from here on out, I’ve kind of put the whole thing on the “back burner”. I’ve been attending Baptist services with her every Sunday (I pass on the weekly communion, which gets awkward) but am miserable every second of it. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.

At this point, I’m considering making an absolute statement: “I can’t go against my conscience any longer; I can no longer call myself Protestant. I’m going back to the Catholic Church.” But is this really the best way to go about it? Am I holding off for the wrong reasons? This whole thing is so uncomfortable to me.

The only thing that concerns me about your post is the line about showing your wife the “falsehood of Protestantism”. I learn a lot from Protestants, and even learn from nonbelievers. If you are grounded in your faith, you can learn from anyone.

It seems that your goal should be for you to seek God as you are called, and to let your wife seek God as she is called. Trying to attack her belief system is a mistake.

Catholicism works for me and Protestantism works for my wife. I attend Mass every Saturday Vigil, or Sunday, and try to get to her service when I can. We do not pressure each other.

When traveling, we both go to Catholic service because that is the church that is everywhere.

So I would seek a compromise where you two follow your own paths without attacking the other person’s belief system.

Good luck.

 

[Viki63]

H I have made up my mind regarding the falsehood of Protestantism but I’m having such a difficult time showing her…

This comment also strikes me as unfortunate. I know there are theological differences, but in my mind Protestantism isn’t false, it just doesn’t go far enough. I worked with the Billy Graham crusades in the past, and have great respect for many protestants.

They believe in Jesus and the angels, don’t pay much attention to saints or Our Lady, and read the Bible devoutly. (while missing some key verses.) The main thing is they don’t have the Eucharist, so their services are heavy on music, enthusiasm, and long sermons. I went for years, but now feel somewhat empty whenever I attend a service.

We have Christ in the Eucharist, which is so wonderful. Catholics don’t do a great job of celebrating that, though I think many Catholics are devout. They just tend to be quieter about it.
You could just phrase it as trying to get closer to Jesus. And go to mass, but keep going to church with your wife. Don’t try to show her the falsehood of her religion, because it isn’t false – it’s just not the fullness of the faith.
God bless.

.

 

[LSK]

Hi all!

I need some advice/encouragement, badly.

A previous post of mine explains the situation in detail. Essentially, I left the Church to marry my wife, actually bought into Protestantism for a bit, but am now feeling strongly called back to the Church.

The problem is, every time I bring it up to my wife, she ends up crying. She’s a very devout Baptist and was raised anti-Catholic. Her family are all anti-Catholic as well. So I’m between a rock and a hard place, as it were. I have made up my mind regarding the falsehood of Protestantism but I’m having such a difficult time showing her. She remains closed off to the idea and gets very uncomfortable when I bring it up.

So, between her being brought to tears whenever the topic comes up, and knowing that I’m going to have to deal with her anti-Catholic family from here on out, I’ve kind of put the whole thing on the “back burner”. I’ve been attending Baptist services with her every Sunday (I pass on the weekly communion, which gets awkward) but am miserable every second of it. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.

At this point, I’m considering making an absolute statement: “I can’t go against my conscience any longer; I can no longer call myself Protestant. I’m going back to the Catholic Church.” But is this really the best way to go about it? Am I holding off for the wrong reasons? This whole thing is so uncomfortable to me.

You poor kid…and yes, you are holding off but not necessarily for the ‘wrong’ reasons - just out of fear.