I want to go back to confession again ..but

[LittleFoot]

I’m afraid of not really meaning it when I repent for my sins, I made a thread on here a year ago about going to confession, & I did …this was in relation to struggles I was having with same-sex attractions. I have not had any type of sex or anything like that, but I have had moments of lust, & curiosity …I wouldn’t say I’m the best Catholic, I haven’t been to church in a minute, & besides that …I’m not sure how to be a good Catholic it just seems like so much stuff to know etc. But again to my topic, I guess I’m also afraid that going to confession I’m going to lose something, I guess that’s why I think a part of me is not sure if I’ll mean it, I’ve been chatting with some peers who are also same-sex, however they live far away, & I don’t have as many close friends as I used to. I just have family, & I guess there’s a part of me that want’s to feel a connection to somebody, not based on sex of course, but I dunno …but something, & then somedays I don’t know, maybe I’m having these feelings because I don’t have any close peers like I used to, even though I’ve had these attractions for awhile, anyways my worry with confession, is meaning it & trying to stick to it.

 

[DAML72]

I hear you. I also have some things to confess that I don’t know if I want to let go of. I think the best thing would be to go to confession and tell the priest - “Hey, you know what? I really don’t feel like letting go of this, Father” and see what he says. It might be easier to set up an appointment where you can have time to discuss. Or, does your church ever have reconciliation services where lots of priests are available at one time? It might be more comfortable for you to speak to the priest about this in a more casual environment. Keep in mind that because of the promise/vow of celibacy, this is an issue that every priest is probably very well-versed in!

Speaking specifically to the issue of same-sex attraction, have you sought out any support on social media? I know that on Facebook, the Pink-Haired Papist is someone who is same-sex attracted and living a chaste life. Steve Gershom is another. I would also contact Courage and see what it can offer as support/resources.

Good luck, and I will pray for you.

 

[puzzledtoo]

Hello Little…,
I’m not catholic so therefore do not use the sacrament of reconciliation though I like the idea of it. Seems like it would be very helpful on so many levels. As for not meaning something when we say it or confess it in your circumstance, maybe try looking at it as “just for today”. Kind of like in AA (to my understanding) the folks are told/asked to take it one day at a time-not to worry about whether they’ll fall off the wagon eventually.
So in your situation go to confession say what you say and mean it 100%. But also know that you are struggling one day at a time. The intention is forever but intellectually know that “just for today” and “one day at a time” are all we really can ask for.
I’ve read several times on these threads of examples where folks beat themselves up because they have to keep confessing the same sins due to there weaknesses and their fellow caf members are rooting them on, praying for them, giving advice, etc… encouraging them to stay strong and don’t give up on the intention, and keep going to confession because god knows their heart and isn’t looking for the “gotcha” moment.
Hope this is a bit clearer than mud. Blessings to you and yours.

 

[LittleFoot]

I hear you. I also have some things to confess that I don’t know if I want to let go of. I think the best thing would be to go to confession and tell the priest - “Hey, you know what? I really don’t feel like letting go of this, Father” and see what he says. It might be easier to set up an appointment where you can have time to discuss. Or, does your church ever have reconciliation services where lots of priests are available at one time? It might be more comfortable for you to speak to the priest about this in a more casual environment. Keep in mind that because of the promise/vow of celibacy, this is an issue that every priest is probably very well-versed in!

Speaking specifically to the issue of same-sex attraction, have you sought out any support on social media? I know that on Facebook, the Pink-Haired Papist is someone who is same-sex attracted and living a chaste life. Steve Gershom is another. I would also contact Courage and see what it can offer as support/resources.

Good luck, and I will pray for you.

Hello Little…,
I’m not catholic so therefore do not use the sacrament of reconciliation though I like the idea of it. Seems like it would be very helpful on so many levels. As for not meaning something when we say it or confess it in your circumstance, maybe try looking at it as “just for today”. Kind of like in AA (to my understanding) the folks are told/asked to take it one day at a time-not to worry about whether they’ll fall off the wagon eventually.
So in your situation go to confession say what you say and mean it 100%. But also know that you are struggling one day at a time. The intention is forever but intellectually know that “just for today” and “one day at a time” are all we really can ask for.
I’ve read several times on these threads of examples where folks beat themselves up because they have to keep confessing the same sins due to there weaknesses and their fellow caf members are rooting them on, praying for them, giving advice, etc… encouraging them to stay strong and don’t give up on the intention, and keep going to confession because god knows their heart and isn’t looking for the “gotcha” moment.
Hope this is a bit clearer than mud. Blessings to you and yours.

I thank you both for your advice, I don’t go by the church as often …but if I can I’ll try to see if I can talk to a priest in a more casual setting. But for the confession I’ll definitely take the “Just for today” advice into great consideration, I never really thought about it like that

 

[Bookcat]

Repentance -that is turning away from all mortal sin and that which leads to it - is not about predicting the future. One resolves here and now (hic et nunc) to reject it and avoid it. Even if one “fears” one may be weak and sin in the future.

One repents - turns away from sin - and turns to the Lord. In him is true life!

Fearing one may fall in the future - is different than holding on to mortal sin…or saying “I will repent now and plan to sin mortally again later…or I do not intend to give this up…etc” which would yes invalidate the confession.

Repentance too is about grace and about ones will. Emotions are not necessary.

As Jesus says to us in the Gospels - repent and believe the good news

A meeting with a Priest yes sounds like a way for you. And if confession is possible then too if one is ready.

 

[St_Francis]

One thing I have found is that it is good to have a plan rather than just an intention of amendment. We generally have a pretty good idea of what is going on with ourselves when we sin, right? Like a mother may find she loses her temper mostly at the end of the day when she is trying to fix dinner?

So having a plan for dealing with that helps a lot in having confidence in one’s repentance, which only has to be enough that one confesses.

The mother above could consider the situation and decide to make sure her children have something to do other than pester her, and to pray for help before starting to cook, and to remind herself that whatever happens is not that bad but just seems bad because she is tired and harried.

That sort of thing has helped me a lot.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I thank you both for your advice, I don’t go by the church as often …but if I can I’ll try to see if I can talk to a priest in a more casual setting. But for the confession I’ll definitely take the “Just for today” advice into great consideration, I never really thought about it like that

I urge you to have a visit with a priest in a more casual setting. You should find that he can help resolve your concerns.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

I’m afraid of not really meaning it when I repent for my sins, I made a thread on here a year ago about going to confession, & I did …this was in relation to struggles I was having with same-sex attractions. I have not had any type of sex or anything like that, but I have had moments of lust, & curiosity …I wouldn’t say I’m the best Catholic, I haven’t been to church in a minute, & besides that …I’m not sure how to be a good Catholic it just seems like so much stuff to know etc. But again to my topic, I guess I’m also afraid that going to confession I’m going to lose something, I guess that’s why I think a part of me is not sure if I’ll mean it, I’ve been chatting with some peers who are also same-sex, however they live far away, & I don’t have as many close friends as I used to. I just have family, & I guess there’s a part of me that want’s to feel a connection to somebody, not based on sex of course, but I dunno …but something, & then somedays I don’t know, maybe I’m having these feelings because I don’t have any close peers like I used to, even though I’ve had these attractions for awhile, anyways my worry with confession, is meaning it & trying to stick to it.

Take the plunge and go. Ask around for a solid confessor. Go to one who’s recommended. Go regularly. The grace you receive from frequent reception o fthis amazing sacrament will be very helpful. Your interior disposition will change as will your intentions and perceptions. let God in and he will assist you in your state of life.

 

[brittrossiter]

Littlefoot, your struggle is my struggle, and I’ve been at this struggle for a few years, but stick with it - it’s worth it, because God’s worth it. Struggling against temptation - sacrifice for the sake of Christ - is the essence of Christian life, and in a certain odd sense, you and I are a step ahead of many people who aren’t even aware of the nature of the things that draw them into temptation (pride, avarice, etc.)

You are getting good advice here. Find a good spiritual director and a regular confessor - this is really important, especially for folks like us, because we are swimming upstream far more severely than most of the rest of the church who don’t have to deal with SSA and the insane culture around us.

Nuture good friendships with others in your parish as best you can. Seek out a local Courage chapter if there is one in your area - you will find other fellow strugglers there, and there is comfort and assistance in being able to see with your own eyes that you are not alone.

And pray, pray, pray. I will be praying for you as well.

 

[Rohzek]

I’m afraid of not really meaning it when I repent for my sins, I made a thread on here a year ago about going to confession, & I did …this was in relation to struggles I was having with same-sex attractions. I have not had any type of sex or anything like that, but I have had moments of lust, & curiosity …I wouldn’t say I’m the best Catholic, I haven’t been to church in a minute, & besides that …I’m not sure how to be a good Catholic it just seems like so much stuff to know etc. But again to my topic, I guess I’m also afraid that going to confession I’m going to lose something, I guess that’s why I think a part of me is not sure if I’ll mean it, I’ve been chatting with some peers who are also same-sex, however they live far away, & I don’t have as many close friends as I used to. I just have family, & I guess there’s a part of me that want’s to feel a connection to somebody, not based on sex of course, but I dunno …but something, & then somedays I don’t know, maybe I’m having these feelings because I don’t have any close peers like I used to, even though I’ve had these attractions for awhile, anyways my worry with confession, is meaning it & trying to stick to it.

Why not just go to confession and talk about these feelings of doubt that you are having? I’ve done it before with my own problems and found the priest’s advice very helpful. It’s a lot better than not going to or avoiding confession. It is better to be honest with your priest while talking with him, than it is to be honest and not talk with him. Because if you don’t talk, nothing will probably change.