I want to go to confession but I feel uneasy and nervous about it

[catholic0913]

I want to go to confession, formally apologize to God about my sinful act (masturbation in specific), restore my friendship with Him and set my life straight.

But I feel uneasy about going to confession with my parish priest due to several reasons.

1. There is no regular confession session before mass and I will have to approach my parish priest and ask for confession face to face - no anonymity here. I feel very uneasy about mentioning my specific sin in front of my parish priest, given that I am actively involved in a liturgical ministry. This is the reason why I am even more ashamed about my sinful tendency and my unholy sexual act.
2. I just went to a confession about two weeks ago with my parish priest and I don’t want to give my parish priest an impression that I have tendency to “overuse” the sacrament of reconciliation.

I thought about driving to a different parish and receive confession there, but for that I will have to wait until next Tuesday and I personally do not want to wait that long. Should I gather up all my courage and seek the sacrament with my parish priest? While I feel so bad about myself, my parish priest might not want me to continue being a liturgical minister.

Thank you…

 

[edwest2]

Your parish priest is your friend. I heard on Catholic Radio that one of the commentators thought he should bring a tape recorder to Confession since he kept committing a specific - unspecified - sin. God and your priest will not tire of you. God’s mercy is infinite. But some sins require prayer on a daily basis as well. Masturbation is common among Catholics. I’m sure God will help you as He has helped me.

Best,
Ed

 

[z_0101]

Masturbation is common among Catholics.

Not just Catholics
Common in the human nature.
It’s a hard habit to break.
The priest deals with this very frequently.
If you haven’t done so already, double check the confessional times, at least ask if there are more regularly scheduled times. Mention to the priest that having to schedule confessions is a roadblock, he may have a solution.

 

[ynotzap]

I want to go to confession, formally apologize to God about my sinful act (masturbation in specific), restore my friendship with Him and set my life straight.

But I feel uneasy about going to confession with my parish priest due to several reasons.

1. There is no regular confession session before mass and I will have to approach my parish priest and ask for confession face to face - no anonymity here. I feel very uneasy about mentioning my specific sin in front of my parish priest, given that I am actively involved in a liturgical ministry. This is the reason why I am even more ashamed about my sinful tendency and my unholy sexual act.
2. I just went to a confession about two weeks ago with my parish priest and I don’t want to give my parish priest an impression that I have tendency to “overuse” the sacrament of reconciliation.

I thought about driving to a different parish and receive confession there, but for that I will have to wait until next Tuesday and I personally do not want to wait that long. Should I gather up all my courage and seek the sacrament with my parish priest? While I feel so bad about myself, my parish priest might not want me to continue being a liturgical minister.

Thank you…

One important thing we must know, the priest is human and has to deal with his own moral problems, and you can be sure that we ALL have them, because we all were born in original sin and it’s consequences. Have no fear, shame is good, and to be expected, Adam and Eve experienced it, it is the consequence of our spiritual state. Do not let your feelings dominate your conscience. The priest, true to his calling wants to exercise forgiveness in the name of Jesus, avail your self of this gift. This should not affect your ministerial status in the church. The priest is not your judge, God alone is. If he is true to his calling, he would take delight in observing you in your ministry, because he will know you are doing the right , and good thing. Have courage, and humility, you will never go wrong.

 

[Franciscan_Way]

“Gather up all your courage and seek the sacrament with your parish priest.”
I also had a similar situation. Involved in several ministries, etc. I approached our Monsignor for confession after mass, you are right, no anonymity. And after mass, he said, “Ok” and we walked over to the last pew!!! Ahhh!!! Face to face!!! To further compound things, I’m a woman!!! And moments later, I had my husband hounding me for info about what I confessed!!!
I have to believe that our priests have heard just about everything. Who knows, they may occasionally have the same struggles We are human and fall; Christ is the only one without sin. I don’t think your parish priest will boot you from your ministry because you humbled yourself and confessed your sins. I think it’s admirable and good that you want to be in a state of grace. Their duty is not to judge, but to show the mercy and love of Christ when we humble ourselves before Him with a contrite heart. Humiliating for us to enter with our sins, yes. But the ultimate goal as you stated once we exit is “to restore our friendship with Him and set our life straight.”
I will be praying for you. May God bless you!

 

[edlinked]

This is one of the things that I think about it from the theory first.

We are ashamed to state things to a priest that God already knows we did. From that, we should understand that the one that we owe this humility to, is God, and therefore if he wants us to go to a priest and confess, we should do it, no matter if the priest is a friend. But isn’t this hard, lol. I have always gone to confession face to face, this not necessarily because I want that, but because that’s the way that most of the Churchs I go to, do this.

I guess one of the points of confessing sins, is that we also need to do things to fight against the sin. Sometimes a priest can help us in this, if he sees it has become a recurring thing, so there are benefits sometimes if we confess with the same priest. Though I guess it is better to go to confession than to halt it because we don’t want to confess with the same priest.

I know that some people go every week to confession, this doesn’t mean they are always in a state of mortal sin, but the tendency of looking for confession is not bad, you may “over use it” in the sense of scrupulosity, and even then you probably need to talk to a priest to take care of that, so that wouldn’t be over using it. I know some people have talks with priests every week and most of the times they can take that time to confess things, like getting very angry at something, a lack of charity from our part in a certain situation, etc.

So, confession is always something good, so I would say that not going to confession is worse than “overusing” it, in the sense that we “normally” are not perfect beings.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Priests in confession have heard all of this before. Maybe a first for you.

Just say what you did, and how frequently. He will give you a penance. And say an act of contrition. Seems impersonal. But you don’t need to expect an emotional cartharsis.

Several priests who were geographically separated and of vastly different ages and experience levels and clearly had no way of knowing the same seminary instructor … all told me that the feelings will go away about 15 minutes after they hammer the last nail in my coffin. They try to make you feel better about this whole thing.

 

[Arizona_Fat_Gir]

Not to be disrespectful, but animals do it, too.

A walrus was doing it at the Brookfield Zoo many years ago. I guess he died by now. Think God would forgive him?

A kangaroo did it on a video my sister sent me. That was kind of funny, but strange, although I feel for him. He was such a cute animal, and I’m sure he had needs that were not being met.

I don’t know how people start this, but I have noticed it in kids.

 

[tawny]

Do not be uneasy about going to Confession. Remember, no matter what our sins; God in His infinite mercy & love forgives us & welcomes us back with open arms. Also, you are not going to be telling the Priest anything he has not heard before or will not hear again. The is the Year of Mercy, it only comes around every 25 years. Take advantage of this beautiful Sacramental gift & receive all of it’s graces as well as a Plenary Indulgence. God bless.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Some years ago, there was a routine rotation of pastors at our parish.

I happened to be at the rectory and several of us were helping out doing some furniture re-arranging.

There were also some carpentry projects taking place.

Anyway, one of the things we found was an old cabinet full of keys and the keys were all jumbled into a mess. Most of the keys were unlabeled.

So, I made a remark. That sorting the keys would be a penance for someone. And the new pastor smiled and said, “no, we let them off.”

Confession is for reconciliation.

Penance is not a punishment.

 

[Billy_Buescher]

This happens to me sometimes, I will be in the confessional line and try to convince my self that I really do not need this.

I am grateful for the grace of God, that I can over come the thought that Satan is putting in my head, to leave. An listen to the Holy Spirit and stay the course. I always feel great after my confession.

 

[Reuben_J]

I want to go to confession, formally apologize to God about my sinful act (masturbation in specific), restore my friendship with Him and set my life straight.

But I feel uneasy about going to confession with my parish priest due to several reasons.

1. There is no regular confession session before mass and I will have to approach my parish priest and ask for confession face to face - no anonymity here. I feel very uneasy about mentioning my specific sin in front of my parish priest, given that I am actively involved in a liturgical ministry. This is the reason why I am even more ashamed about my sinful tendency and my unholy sexual act.
2. I just went to a confession about two weeks ago with my parish priest and I don’t want to give my parish priest an impression that I have tendency to “overuse” the sacrament of reconciliation.

I thought about driving to a different parish and receive confession there, but for that I will have to wait until next Tuesday and I personally do not want to wait that long. Should I gather up all my courage and seek the sacrament with my parish priest? While I feel so bad about myself, my parish priest might not want me to continue being a liturgical minister.

Thank you…

I can understand how you feel about confessing an embarrassing sin to a priest that you know and especially if you are part of the liturgy team.

It will save your uneasiness about it to go to another parish to confess that sin. It’s worth it. When you know how difficult it is for you to confess this sin, it will help your resolve to stop it and even should you repeat the sin, you would know the consequence and hopefully you will overcome it.

Have a blessed Confession, on which one you may choose.

 

[Minion_w_a_drum]

I want to go to confession, formally apologize to God about my sinful act (masturbation in specific), restore my friendship with Him and set my life straight.

But I feel uneasy about going to confession with my parish priest due to several reasons.

1. There is no regular confession session before mass and I will have to approach my parish priest and ask for confession face to face - no anonymity here. I feel very uneasy about mentioning my specific sin in front of my parish priest, given that I am actively involved in a liturgical ministry. This is the reason why I am even more ashamed about my sinful tendency and my unholy sexual act.
2. I just went to a confession about two weeks ago with my parish priest and I don’t want to give my parish priest an impression that I have tendency to “overuse” the sacrament of reconciliation.

I thought about driving to a different parish and receive confession there, but for that I will have to wait until next Tuesday and I personally do not want to wait that long. Should I gather up all my courage and seek the sacrament with my parish priest? While I feel so bad about myself, my parish priest might not want me to continue being a liturgical minister.

Thank you…

Certainly there are scheduled confession times at your parish church?? All that I’ve seen are right before or after Mass. If yours are at another time, simply try to go then, or to another church. I’m not sure of where you are located in regards to other Catholic churches, but it is usually not very difficult to find a church who does Saturday afternoon confessions. If your church does not have regularly scheduled confessions, I think it’s time to distance yourself from that particular church.
When you do go, by all means go behind the screen and not face to face. Taking into your account the anxiety you have concerning confession, simply going behind the curtain will eliminate most of your anxiety.
Lastly, you will not beat this sin without regular confession and daily prayer. But with both, you can do it. You need to do both. And you will need to do both for an extended period of time. Stay after it, no matter how dejected you get. Both in tandem will defeat this sin.

 

[pwlj_christ87]

let me give you some pieces of advice please use them because they helped me tremendously a long time ago and apply specifically to your situation…

firstly… who cares if your priest sees you face to face or not. at the end of the day, you have to remember that you are doing something holy, and that in all honesty, the priest is probably commending you for coming to confession. i used to belong to a parish where there was a wall up, but after going there for so long the priest woudl end up knowing who I was anyways. now I confess behind a mesh, where I look directly towards the priest so he knows who I am too. Priests are your personal pastors, they dont mean you harm, and they have heard everything, it makes no difference if you were to look him face to face. another thing you should remember is that you are talking to jesus. he is there in the sacrament, so remember thta no matter what the priest is thinking, is not as important as to the fact that jesus is there.

In my opinion parish shopping isnt going to help. I tried doing that, at the end of the day I realized your just running from yourself, theres something within your self that is causing you to not want to go to confession, you have to embrace the confession and look at it as something positive, no one is perfect, what makes you perfect, is the fact that you are going and cleansing yourself, if you dont, you just get worse and worse, its like cleaning a car, and the more you go the more you will probably not have to go for the same sin because you will be able to over come it

 

[peter26]

Regularity is the key if you want confession to be easy. I used to go every week. Since I stopped going to a vigil Mass (confession is scheduled just before) I don’t go every week any more and that makes it a lot more difficult because its not part of the regular routine.

 

[LundyLund]

Hey there.

Face to face confession is awesome. Remember, at reconciliation, the priest is there in persona Christi. You are having an encounter with Jesus. How powerful it is to look him in the face and tell him you are sorry.

You cannot “overuse” reconciliation. St. Thomas More took the sacrament every day. EVERY DAY. Remember, God’s mercy is infinite. Now, if you are going every day and confessing the very same thing, at some point, your priest may wonder if you really are repentant. Repentance is vital to a valid reconciliation. So, make sure that you are not using the sacrament as a “get out of jail free” card - that leads to the sin of presumption.

If you have access to it, Fr. Larry Richards has an incredible talk about confession. It’s on Lighthouse Catholic Media, and if your parish has a formed.org subscription, it’s available there. I highly recommend it.

 

[Bookcat]

Frequent confessio**n of venial sins is encouraged by the Church

That could mean yes two weeks or once a month…

Or even every week!

I go every week.

And so if venial sins are encouraged to be confessed frequently…mortal sins are even more important to be promptly repented of and confessed. Like right away. Even if confess was yesterday!

 

[Bookcat]

Let us remember Jesus of Nazareth is The Lamb and the Good Shepherd …

“Jesus is called the Lamb: He is the Lamb who takes away the sin of the world. Someone might think: but how can a lamb, which is so weak, a weak little lamb, how can it take away so many sins, so much wickedness? With Love. With his meekness. Jesus never ceased being a lamb: meek, good, full of love, close to the little ones, close to the poor. He was there, among the people, healing everyone, teaching, praying. Jesus, so weak, like a lamb. However, he had the strength to take all our sins upon himself, all of them.
“But, Father, you don’t know my life: I have a sin that…, I can’t even carry it with a truck…”.
Many times, when we examine our conscience, we find some there that are truly bad! But he carries them. He came for this: to forgive, to make peace in the world, but first in the heart. Perhaps each one of us feels troubled in his heart, perhaps he experiences darkness in his heart, perhaps he feels a little sad over a fault… He has come to take away all of this, He gives us peace, he forgives everything. “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away sin”: he takes away sin, it’s root and all! This is salvation Jesus brings about by his love and his meekness. And in listening to what John the Baptist says, who bears witness to Jesus as the Saviour, our confidence in Jesus should grow. Many times we trust a doctor: it is good, because the doctor is there to cure us; we trust in a person: brothers and sisters can help us. It is good to have this human trust among ourselves. But we forget about trust in the Lord: this is the key to success in life. Trust in the Lord, let us trust in the Lord! “Lord, look at my life: I’m in the dark, I have this struggle, I have this sin…”; everything we have: “Look at this: I trust in you!”. And this is a risk we must take: to trust in Him, and He never disappoints.”

~Pope Francis

vatican.va/holy_father/francesco/homilies/2014/documents/papa-francesco_20140119_omelia-parrocchia-sacro-cuore-gesu_en.html

"Jesus is the “Good Shepherd” who goes in search of lost sheep, who knows his sheep and lays down his life for them (cf. Mt 18:12-14; Lk 15:4-7; Jn 10:2-4, 11-18). He is the way, the right path that leads us to life (cf. Jn 14:6), the light that illuminates the dark valley and overcomes all our fears (cf. Jn 1:9; 8:12; 9:5; 12:46).

He is the generous host who welcomes us and rescues us from our enemies, preparing for us the table of his body and his blood (cf. Mt 26:26-29; Mk 14:22-25); Lk 22:19-20) and the definitive table of the messianic banquet in Heaven (cf. Lk 14:15ff; Rev 3:20; 19:9). He is the Royal Shepherd, king in docility and in forgiveness, enthroned on the glorious wood of the cross (cf. Jn 3:13-15; 12:32; 17:4-5)."

~Pope Benedict XVI

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/audiences/2011/documents/hf_ben-xvi_aud_20111005_en.html

"I invite all Christians, everywhere, at this very moment, to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting him encounter them; I ask all of you to do this unfailingly each day. No one should think that this invitation is not meant for him or her, since “no one is excluded from the joy brought by the Lord”.[1] The Lord does not disappoint those who take this risk; whenever we take a step towards Jesus, we come to realize that he is already there, waiting for us with open arms.

Now is the time to say to Jesus: “Lord, I have let myself be deceived; in a thousand ways I have shunned your love, yet here I am once more, to renew my covenant with you. I need you. Save me once again, Lord, take me once more into your redeeming embrace”. How good it feels to come back to him whenever we are lost!

Let me say this once more: God never tires of forgiving us; we are the ones who tire of seeking his mercy.

Christ, who told us to forgive one another “seventy times seven” (Mt 18:22) has given us his example: he has forgiven us seventy times seven. Time and time again he bears us on his shoulders.

No one can strip us of the dignity bestowed upon us by this boundless and unfailing love. With a tenderness which never disappoints, but is always capable of restoring our joy, he makes it possible for us to lift up our heads and to start anew. Let us not flee from the resurrection of Jesus, let us never give up, come what will. May nothing inspire more than his life, which impels us onwards!"

~ Pope Francis

APOSTOLIC EXHORTATION
EVANGELII GAUDIUM

w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20131124_evangelii-gaudium.html#I.%E2%80%82A_joy_ever_new,_a_joy_which_is_shared