I want to leave the Seminary, and I haven't even started yet

[GilChrist77]

I’ve been discerning religious life for about six and a half years and I’ve always felt drawn to the contemplative apostolic way of life. In May I was on a retreat with the Dominican Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist and God showed me very clearly that I need to discern with the cloistered Dominican nuns in Farmington Hills. This really freaked me out quite a lot because it was so unexpected. I was praying about it and He said to me “I’m not saying ‘you are called to the cloister’ end of story. I’m saying you need to discern with them because you have something to learn” I was really struggling with this and I was talking to my spiritual director/confessor about how I was really afraid because I had for quite some time thought I would be entering the SMME and I know the sisters and I’m comfortable with them and Father told me “Discernment is about doing God’s will and what brings you peace, not about what makes you comfortable”
If you’ve thought for quite some time that you have a vocation to the priesthood I would highly encourage you to stick it out for at least a semester. One of the huge blessings of discerning religious life or priesthood is that you can try it out for a while and then leave with no strings.
You will be in my prayers.

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria! Let’s see what the good God wills.

 

[Allayne]

TeddyRoosevelt, I’m glad you have decided to give the seminary a try. I had an experience similar to yours. When I entered my community, everything was so easy and natural. I sailed through the application (not easy, as you mentioned), the acceptance, and the first stage of formation. There was just no question in my mind that God was calling me to religious life. A day after I was accepted into the second stage of formation, I started douting everything. As convinced as I had been for several years that this was absolutely what God and I wanted, that’s how convinced I was that God and I had made a mistake. It was such a shock to realize that things could change literally overnight.

I almost made the decision to leave, but remembered a piece of advice my spiritual director had given to me prior to entereing. He made me promise not to make any decisions when I was really up or when I was really down. It’s good advice; it is only when we’re balanced that we can be truly objective. I believe that’s also the only time when we can really be sure that we’re hearing the voice of God and not just hearing our own fears, or worse yet, the voice of the Devil. I’m glad I listened to the advice and gave myself time to chill out and really listen before making any hasty decisions. I’m now very happy in my vocation once again and feel very much like this is what God wants.

Give yourself some time to level out emotionally, physically and spiritually. You’re dealing with a lot of change, so you need to be patient with yourself. Pray a lot and really listen. Talk with a spiritual director. Be honest with yourself and keep track of how you really feel from day to day. After a bit of time, go back and look at the trend in those feelings and evaluate your decision to stay. This is a time of discernment and it’s natural to go back and forth on everything. If God wants you to be a priest, he’ll make sure you see it. If He has other plans for you, he’ll reveal those, too.

Blessings and best wishes to you as you begin this stage of discernment and study!

 

[zdon011]

I very strongly want to be married and I likewise feel like there are other things I’d rather do with my live - namely, archaeology - than pastoral work or anything else.

Your inclination towards archaeology does not, on the face of it, necessarily conflict with a priestly vocation. There have been many priests and religious whose lives were dedicated to scholarship rather than routine ‘pastoral work’.
Fr. Teilhard de Chardin, the palaeontologist, comes to mind, and the Jesuit scientists at the Pontifical Institute (someone correct me if I’m mistaken).

Your desire for marriage seems much more serious.
May God guide you in the way He has prepared.
zdon

 

[Madaglan]

Give it a semester or two.

If you still feel that strongly towards marriage, it may be best to pursue that.

Better to get married than lock yourself into clerical celibacy and realize later you do not belong there.

If, in discussing with your spiritual director, you genuinely feel at peace about becoming a celibate priest, then this likely would be your best fit.

 

[delaford321]

You’ve gone this far so I’d recommend trying it for atleast a semester. You’ll either choose or be assigned a spiritual director while in seminary and you can discuss this matter with him. Worse comes to worst and you’ll have wasted a few months of your time.

I think like any school everything will get better. If you don’t believe this is what you aren’t meant to do in a few months then that is ok. It is better to have found out earlier than later. Good luck!

 

[Heidi_Becnel]

Hi! I am entering the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist on Saturday, and I have three friends who just entered the seminary last week, and one of them went through similar things you are going through recently. My advice for you is to GO TO THE SEMINARY and discern there. God obviously wills for you to begin your discernment there, or you would not have been accepted into the seminary by the Church. So go, begin your studies, seek God’s will honestly, and speak to your spiritual director/superior (I’m not sure exactly how that works in seminary?) about this. I don’t know your whole story to know for sure, but I think that what is happening here is that the devil is trying to keep you from giving your whole life to God by doing His will, which is very common, of course, because He doesn’t want us to do something that would save our souls and the souls of others. Even the saints have experienced such things in their discernment. St. Therese of Lisieux felt on the day before her profession that she had been making it all up and that she needed to return to the world and must not really be called after all, but when she talked to her Superior about it, she set her right and helped her to realize that these temptations were not from God. So I think that’s probably what is happening with you, that is it probably the attack of the devil rather than something from God. You need to go back to what lead you to this moment and remain with God’s grace there. Don’t discount your discernment, and the Church’s discernment of you, over all this time just because of a feeling that has suddenly crept up.
God bless! You will be in my prayers! Please pray for me, too, especially on August 28th when I enter the convent!

 

[ConstantineTG]

Hi! I don’t know if what I’m about to share will help, but it helps me a lot in my life.

When I was young I always tell God what I want. I want to do this, I want to have that. For a while God was generous enough I got some of what I want. I was young and the stakes weren’t high. As I grew older I want more and more things. I pray because my parents were devout and taught me to pray always. But somehow I was not getting what I wanted anymore. There was one thing that at that time I thought I wanted more than anything else. I tried to be a better person, I prayed harder and harder, I did all the novenas and whenever there was a prayer to ask for something, I probably am praying it. I still didn’t get it. I was frustrated so much it put my entire faith in jeopardy.

Anyway, I don’t want to delve too much into the story, I want to tell you the solution which might also be the solution for you. What I realized after all the mental and emotional pain and suffering I went through, is that I was sad in life because I’m leading myself to what I wanted. And I didn’t know anything. I realized that God is truly the ultimate Father. He wants nothing but the best for us even though we do not recognize it. Sometimes we want one thing not knowing its not the best for us. What he offers is always the best. So I stopped leading my life the way I want it and submit myself to His will. Yes, I still want a lot of things but I offer it up to Him in prayer without expecting anything except His will revealed to me so that I may follow. Hopefully He’ll work what I want into what He wants. If not, I trust that what He wants is for the best.

So maybe this is the solution to your problem. You’re worried about what you want or don’t want. Believe in Him and accept His will. Go for what He wants, because it is always for the best. It may not seem right now, but for sure nothing but good will come out of it if you follow what He wants. Remember what is said in the Bible, seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, then all these things will be added onto you. If you seek and follow God’s will, you will have everything you need and you will be happy.