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Guest
What can I do besides praying? Today, my mom told me that grandma (her mom) called and told her something that shocked me and hurt me: My grandpa cried. Grandma said she never saw him like that in all their 50 years of marriage that she cried too.
Background:
Mom has a younger sister called M. M is married to J and has two daughters ages 10+ (elementary students). M & J bought a house 10 years ago or so in a city 45 minutes away from where grandma and grandpa live and where she works. Her husband works selling bones and doing surgery, so he travels (by road) a lot. But they only stay at their house during the weekends, because M and the girls work and attend school in the city where grandpa/grandma live They stay at my grandparents’ house during the weekdays. J had a sports car that he was paying with his monthly check, and my aunt (M) pays the girls’ private school (yes, they have separate banking accounts). She has a job that pays only the worked hours, in other words, she cannot go for a few minutes or hour because it is not counted as working like some government jobs that you can escape a few minutes to pick up the kids from school.
Grandma doesn’t drive, therefore grandpa does all the driving between the two.
What my grandparents do because “there is no other way”:
They feed them, a total of 6 stomachs if we count the grandparents (M & J do not give a cent to contribute to the food expenses).
They pay higher water usage and electricity (M & J do not give a cent to contribute to paying the bills).
They pick the girls from school since there is no one to pick them up. M works, if she goes out a bit, she doesn’t get paid for it. J is away who knows in which hospital selling bones and doing surgery. If grandpa is not on time, the girls cry. It never happens because he gets there an hour earlier to get parking under a tree because he has skin cancer.
They are given the mortgage “book” of the house of M & J along with the monthly money so grandpa pays it at the corresponding bank because M is working.
After school, grandma tutors them and goes through all the notebooks and checks for any homework and review for quizzes and tests and spends hours with them in the magic-marker board reviewing the materials.
Grandpa picks up M from work because now they have just one car (apparently, J could not pay that sport car).
They do all their laundry.
They spend a lot of gas every month (M &J do not contribute a cent for it, but on rare occasions).
They prepared their formula and carnation milk when the girls where babies, grandma was the babysitter).
They practically raised the girls, they were there since they were born and is a cycle that still doesn’t end.
Also, my grandpa:
Picks up my poor sister when she needs to to take her children to the doctor.
Picks up my grandma’s sister at the dialysis center.
Used to bring me to college (I lived with them for four years) and picked me up. Sometimes I had such schedule that he used to leave me his car.
Suffers from high blood pressure (he takes his medication).
Is almost deaf.
Has skin cancer (he applies neutrogena sunscreen SPF 100)
Has low diabetes (under control with no medication)
Grandma is is at the risk of being fully blind if she forces her vision. She takes prescribed drops.
They live in high stress every single day except Saturday and Sunday. My poor grandpa is running here and there until night when he finally gets to be at home in his white shirt, pj pants and rubber sandals.
It pains me to see them living that life. They have the age of going to places and enjoying the rest of their life. It was too much already after so many years (10+) going up and down, here and there. He cried. My grandpa who is all reserved and silent. It makes me want to cry. It doesn’t seem to have no end.
My mom was so different. As soon she got married, she took care of things on her own. My aunt (M), on the other hand, left everything to my grandparents, she depends so much on them.
My grandparents played a significant role during my courtship with my husband, and as a gift of gratitude, we gave them flight tickets to see their most beloved (and only) son in 2014. Grandma was telling me over the phone how excited and happy was my grandpa doing his baggage so soon. This year, they will travel to see my uncle again for a few days for Thanksgiving and have a break. Their “vacation” dates revolve around M’s holidays or vacation.
What can I do? Mom told me grandma had a talk with my aunt about it. But I wish I can do something to make grandpa smile and happy. Any ideas, thoughts, opinion?
My apologies for this unorganized post and bad English.
Background:
Mom has a younger sister called M. M is married to J and has two daughters ages 10+ (elementary students). M & J bought a house 10 years ago or so in a city 45 minutes away from where grandma and grandpa live and where she works. Her husband works selling bones and doing surgery, so he travels (by road) a lot. But they only stay at their house during the weekends, because M and the girls work and attend school in the city where grandpa/grandma live They stay at my grandparents’ house during the weekdays. J had a sports car that he was paying with his monthly check, and my aunt (M) pays the girls’ private school (yes, they have separate banking accounts). She has a job that pays only the worked hours, in other words, she cannot go for a few minutes or hour because it is not counted as working like some government jobs that you can escape a few minutes to pick up the kids from school.
Grandma doesn’t drive, therefore grandpa does all the driving between the two.
What my grandparents do because “there is no other way”:
They feed them, a total of 6 stomachs if we count the grandparents (M & J do not give a cent to contribute to the food expenses).
They pay higher water usage and electricity (M & J do not give a cent to contribute to paying the bills).
They pick the girls from school since there is no one to pick them up. M works, if she goes out a bit, she doesn’t get paid for it. J is away who knows in which hospital selling bones and doing surgery. If grandpa is not on time, the girls cry. It never happens because he gets there an hour earlier to get parking under a tree because he has skin cancer.
They are given the mortgage “book” of the house of M & J along with the monthly money so grandpa pays it at the corresponding bank because M is working.
After school, grandma tutors them and goes through all the notebooks and checks for any homework and review for quizzes and tests and spends hours with them in the magic-marker board reviewing the materials.
Grandpa picks up M from work because now they have just one car (apparently, J could not pay that sport car).
They do all their laundry.
They spend a lot of gas every month (M &J do not contribute a cent for it, but on rare occasions).
They prepared their formula and carnation milk when the girls where babies, grandma was the babysitter).
They practically raised the girls, they were there since they were born and is a cycle that still doesn’t end.
Also, my grandpa:
Picks up my poor sister when she needs to to take her children to the doctor.
Picks up my grandma’s sister at the dialysis center.
Used to bring me to college (I lived with them for four years) and picked me up. Sometimes I had such schedule that he used to leave me his car.
Suffers from high blood pressure (he takes his medication).
Is almost deaf.
Has skin cancer (he applies neutrogena sunscreen SPF 100)
Has low diabetes (under control with no medication)
Grandma is is at the risk of being fully blind if she forces her vision. She takes prescribed drops.
They live in high stress every single day except Saturday and Sunday. My poor grandpa is running here and there until night when he finally gets to be at home in his white shirt, pj pants and rubber sandals.
It pains me to see them living that life. They have the age of going to places and enjoying the rest of their life. It was too much already after so many years (10+) going up and down, here and there. He cried. My grandpa who is all reserved and silent. It makes me want to cry. It doesn’t seem to have no end.
My mom was so different. As soon she got married, she took care of things on her own. My aunt (M), on the other hand, left everything to my grandparents, she depends so much on them.
My grandparents played a significant role during my courtship with my husband, and as a gift of gratitude, we gave them flight tickets to see their most beloved (and only) son in 2014. Grandma was telling me over the phone how excited and happy was my grandpa doing his baggage so soon. This year, they will travel to see my uncle again for a few days for Thanksgiving and have a break. Their “vacation” dates revolve around M’s holidays or vacation.
What can I do? Mom told me grandma had a talk with my aunt about it. But I wish I can do something to make grandpa smile and happy. Any ideas, thoughts, opinion?
My apologies for this unorganized post and bad English.
