"I want to quit Boy Scouts!"

[newbetx]

OK, so my son isn’t the big camper. But I know it’s more than that. He has told me again that he hates Boy Scouts and doesn’t want to go. He especially doesn’t want to be Patrol Leader (his drafted position) and deal with all the new kids because they are like bing with his little sister… annoying and noisy.

I tried to explain to him the education he will get from being in the program like leadership, people skills, problem solving, etc, but he claims he already knows all that and he gets nothing new out of the program. He does not like being forced to go.

That said. He has a couple of good buddies there. He smiles and has fun (dispite his contention he doesn’t). He’s the first one packed for a campout (which he “hates”.)

So while I don’t want him to miss out in this experience, I don’t know what other options I might have. BSA is just too easy to get these experiences.

He claims he can lead on his soccer or baseball team but he doesn’t really work at either sport and he’s not a leader most of the time. We do hear about him leading at school… when he gets detention for goofing off in class. He’s a bright and witty kid. So much of this is typical teenage… well, laziness.

What other “options” do others know about out there. Or if you have had similar problems, how did you keep your son involved?

 

[Marauder]

One option for scouts that are getting tired of dealing with the younger scouts is getting active is the Order of the Arrow (OA). Scouts under 1st class can’t be members and in most areas the boys really run the show with only advice from adults. Many boys that were getting bored in “normal” troops turn around when they are elected to the OA.

One note, a boy has to be elected into the OA by his troop, he then goes through an ordeal and becomes a member.

Another option to keep him is scouting is the Venture program. You can find it in two flavors, Venture patrols and Venture Crews. Venture patrols are usually groups of older boys still involved in a “normal” boy scout troop that do things that the younger boys either can’t or shouldn’t (i.e. caving, skiing, more detailed backpacking trips, etc.)

Venture Crews are seperate troops but still involved with the BSA program, they have their own rank advancement and youth girls are even permitted.

Most boys at some point need an extra kick in the pants to keep them involved with the program, that is one of the reasons why so many boys start scouting but only a few make Eagle.

 

[Simon_X]

My son is 15 and has just 1 badge to complete and the Eagle Project to do to get to Eagle Rank. It is, indeed, very hard to keep him motivated now due to 2nd year of High School, job, social life, wanting to learn to drive, ect…But my wife and I will not let him give up this one thing we feel he needs to achieve. It is important to get them to stick it out, but many have quit since he started too.

What rank is your son and how old is he?

 

[Simon_X]

One option for scouts that are getting tired of dealing with the younger scouts is getting active is the Order of the Arrow (OA). Scouts under 1st class can’t be members and in most areas the boys really run the show with only advice from adults. Many boys that were getting bored in “normal” troops turn around when they are elected to the OA.

One note, a boy has to be elected into the OA by his troop, he then goes through an ordeal and becomes a member.

Another option to keep him is scouting is the Venture program. You can find it in two flavors, Venture patrols and Venture Crews. Venture patrols are usually groups of older boys still involved in a “normal” boy scout troop that do things that the younger boys either can’t or shouldn’t (i.e. caving, skiing, more detailed backpacking trips, etc.)

Venture Crews are seperate troops but still involved with the BSA program, they have their own rank advancement and youth girls are even permitted.

Most boys at some point need an extra kick in the pants to keep them involved with the program, that is one of the reasons why so many boys start scouting but only a few make Eagle.

OA is good program, my son is in that also…

 

[OSUbride0708]

Things like this are reasons why only 5% of Scouts go on to earn their Eagle.

I am going to second the venturing crew idea. My dad was really involved with my little brother, along with a few of his good friends and one of their dads. They got tired of dealing with all the kids whose parents used scouts as babysitting when those kids had behavior problems and didn’t want to be there. They broke away and started a venturing crew, planned their own activities and had a great time. All the boys in the crew but one got their Eagle (the one who didn’t had all the requirements but didn’t follow through with the paperwork).

Would one of the fathers involved be willing to do something like this?

Good Luck!

scouting.org/Venturing.aspx

 

[newbetx]

My son is 15 and has just 1 badge to complete and the Eagle Project to do to get to Eagle Rank. It is, indeed, very hard to keep him motivated now due to 2nd year of High School, job, social life, wanting to learn to drive, ect…But my wife and I will not let him give up this one thing we feel he needs to achieve. It is important to get them to stick it out, but many have quit since he started too.

What rank is your son and how old is he?

He’s 14 in 8th grade. He only needs his Board of review for Life. I thought for sure he would get his Eagle out of the way this year so he could claim he was done…

He is a very sensitive (and lazy) person. However, he is bright and funny and popular. His nickname at school is Eyore for his attitude. Part of the problem is that BSA is “not cool.” But mostly, I think it’s the work he’s expected to do that 1) he doesn’t see value in and 2) did I mention lazy? He’s really into “what’s the least I can do to get by.” Some smart kids figure this out real early in life, don’t they? None of my kids think about the future much. I guess I didn’t either at their age. Nuts don’t fall far from trees, sometimes.

His older brother is a 3 year Life scout with 4 MB’s and project left to do in 11 months and I’ve given up hope on him. If I push, he does the Passive/Agressive stuff, so I’ve stopped and are letting others try. I figured the 14 YO would have loved to pass his brother, but he seems to have stopped short.

 

[Simon_X]

He’s 14 in 8th grade. He only needs his Board of review for Life. I thought for sure he would get his Eagle out of the way this year so he could claim he was done…

He is a very sensitive (and lazy) person. However, he is bright and funny and popular. His nickname at school is Eyore for his attitude. Part of the problem is that BSA is “not cool.” But mostly, I think it’s the work he’s expected to do that 1) he doesn’t see value in and 2) did I mention lazy? He’s really into “what’s the least I can do to get by.” Some smart kids figure this out real early in life, don’t they? None of my kids think about the future much. I guess I didn’t either at their age. Nuts don’t fall far from trees, sometimes.

His older brother is a 3 year Life scout with 4 MB’s and project left to do in 11 months and I’ve given up hope on him. If I push, he does the Passive/Agressive stuff, so I’ve stopped and are letting others try. I figured the 14 YO would have loved to pass his brother, but he seems to have stopped short.

I know exactly what you’re saying. My son is a bit of a minimalist. Will just do what needs to be done although he can do better. It’s really an age and boy thing I think. And yes, there’s a point where BSA isn’t cool anymore. I can only speak for our situation, but maybe it will help. If you think he can do it, make sure you go to meetings and events with him if you can. Try to keep him moving, maybe set goals for badges and ranks. Don’t push to hard if he’s at least moving along at some type of pace. Better to hit Eagle ASAP in my opinion. Most of the boys in our Troop (no kidding) get their Eagles like a month or so before their 18th birthday. We have one very motivated 14 year old now who actually has his Eagle already (his dad is one of the leaders).

Again, I can totally relate to your sons attitude. It’s very common and dare I say normal…

 

[newbetx]

I know exactly what you’re saying. My son is a bit of a minimalist. Will just do what needs to be done although he can do better. It’s really an age and boy thing I think. And yes, there’s a point where BSA isn’t cool anymore. I can only speak for our situation, but maybe it will help. If you think he can do it, make sure you go to meetings and events with him if you can. Try to keep him moving, maybe set goals for badges and ranks. Don’t push to hard if he’s at least moving along at some type of pace. Better to hit Eagle ASAP in my opinion. Most of the boys in our Troop (no kidding) get their Eagles like a month or so before their 18th birthday. We have one very motivated 14 year old now who actually has his Eagle already (his dad is one of the leaders).

Again, I can totally relate to your sons attitude. It’s very common and dare I say normal…

There is the issue of motivation vs. bribery. I want him to understand that with effort, more comes his way. However, many don’t like the idea of bribery to get Eagle. It really isn’t a good example of “Scout Spirit” now is it? I never know if it’s 4% get Eagle because some parents push or if it’s only 4% get Eagle because some parents stop pushing.

 

[Regi]

My husband has his Eagle and one of our sons also has his. It took a lot of effort to keep our son motivated, but his Dad was very active in Scouting and still is. I think it helped our son to have his Dad as an active member of his troop and as his major motivation to get his Eagle award.

His wanting to quit may pass - just try to have him stick it out until the end of the year and see if he is more motivated after that.

 

[mystified]

How did your son get “drafted”? The very responsible positions of Patrol Leader and Senior Patrol Leader are elective offices. Other jobs in a boy-run troop are appointed by the SPL, usually with the general support of the Scoutmaster.

Has he discussed this with his Scoutmaster? Has he been given an opportunity to attend Natioal Youth Leadership Training (NYLT)? If his patrol is mostly brand-new Scouts, maybe he needs help from a Troop Guide.

The goal of Scouting isn’t just getting an Eagle Scout badge, advancement is one many methods of helping a youth grow up to be the best God-fearing citizen he can be.

Has he looked into the religious awards program? The *Ad Altare *Dei is a challenging and rewarding opportunity.

When he is 15 or in high school, whichever comes first, the Venturing program is open to him. Most Venturing Crews with which I am familiar are coed (this might appeal to him ), and a boy who has attained at least First Class rank may continue to work toward the rank of Eagle Scout until he is 18. Venturing is very broad-based, with the youth in charge. it is they who decide whether they will go camping, whitewater rafting in British Columbia, community service projects, volunteer to assist as youth staff members at a National Jamboree, attend a session at one of the BSA’s High Adventure bases, have a car rally, or…they name it. The Venturing program also has medals and recognitions, Bronze, Gold. Silver, Ranger, and others. At this level, a Catholic Venturer can earn the Pope Pius XII medal, too.

 

[newbetx]

My husband has his Eagle and one of our sons also has his. It took a lot of effort to keep our son motivated, but his Dad was very active in Scouting and still is. I think it helped our son to have his Dad as an active member of his troop and as his major motivation to get his Eagle award.

His wanting to quit may pass - just try to have him stick it out until the end of the year and see if he is more motivated after that.

Well, I am quite active in the troop. And originally, he wanted to join, I think, to go with his Brother and I on campouts. It’s been two years of “can I quit” already.

 

[newbetx]

How did your son get “drafted”? The very responsible positions of Patrol Leader and Senior Patrol Leader are elective offices. Other jobs in a boy-run troop are appointed by the SPL, usually with the general support of the Scoutmaster.

Has he discussed this with his Scoutmaster? Has he been given an opportunity to attend Natioal Youth Leadership Training (NYLT)? If his patrol is mostly brand-new Scouts, maybe he needs help from a Troop Guide.

The goal of Scouting isn’t just getting an Eagle Scout badge, advancement is one many methods of helping a youth grow up to be the best God-fearing citizen he can be.

Has he looked into the religious awards program? The *Ad Altare *Dei is a challenging and rewarding opportunity.

When he is 15 or in high school, whichever comes first, the Venturing program is open to him. Most Venturing Crews with which I am familiar are coed (this might appeal to him ), and a boy who has attained at least First Class rank may continue to work toward the rank of Eagle Scout until he is 18. Venturing is very broad-based, with the youth in charge. it is they who decide whether they will go camping, whitewater rafting in British Columbia, community service projects, volunteer to assist as youth staff members at a National Jamboree, attend a session at one of the BSA’s High Adventure bases, have a car rally, or…they name it. The Venturing program also has medals and recognitions, Bronze, Gold. Silver, Ranger, and others. At this level, a Catholic Venturer can earn the Pope Pius XII medal, too.

Where to start here?

He got drafted because we got a surprise influx of new scouts and needed another patrol. The SM was not pleased with his last effort of leadership and so decided to have him try again. The SM asked him first to do it and the boy said he would. Our troop applies for the jobs and at the time, we didn’t have so many scouts. My son applied for librarian. Two of his buddies are support for him. The SPL and the APL of the patrol. So he has all the help he needs.

This is the kid that doesn’t like going to RE but is interested in going to the new Catholic High School. I’ll check on venturing. He doesn’t seem all that interested in girls yet. He just wants to hang with his buddies and do sports and play CallofDuty

I’ve told the SM about this and he will call him up again. Mostly, it is uncomfortable for him. If he doesn’t have interest, it’s hard to go through the work.

I appreciate the support and I wish to answer your questions but what I was really looking for was ideas OTHER than Boy Scouts to obtain the same experience. Leadership. Getting along with others. Serving others. I really think the BSA program is excellent at providing this, but if he doesn’t like “it” then what alternatives might we be able to find?