I want to raise a Catholic family; she does not. Help?

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The girl that I have been dating is open to the idea of being married in the Catholic Church someday, but she does not want to raise a family in the Catholic Church or its teachings because she does not believe in the Church. She identifies herself as a “Non-Conformist Christian”.

I would like some advice, if anyone can offer it, on whether or not this relationship is worth continuing or if it would be best to go our separate ways.
 
Are you cool with living with her, exactly as she is today as far as morals and life outlook and goals, for the next 65 years? Does it make you happy to think of her raising your kids to believe exactly as she does?
 
When I was young, I believe that “love conquered all,” and any difference could be worked out. The truth is, religious differences can have a profound and even damaging effect on a marriage.

Is she currently attending church? Or is she “spiritual but not religious?”
 
She does not have to raise the children Catholic if she is not, but if she marry you in the Church she should agree to absolutely let you and the Church raise your children as Catholic.

What does she think of this perspective?
 
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She does not attend any Church, that I know of. Believes it to be unnecessary and that she can interpret scripture herself…yet never reads it.
 
If she is honest at the time of marriage preparation, no priest would marry you if she opposed openly at the very least least to let you baptized the children and catechized them.

not to mentionned that a catholic upbringing is not resume to that.

For my opinion, i will said: not good at all. If you care of your faith, and want your children be raised as Catholic… well…
 
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I would be very honest with her. If this is a deal breaker for you, tell her. If you love her tell her you are willing to give her time to study the church’s doctrines to see if see can accept them. At a minimum she has to agree to raise the children Catholic. Which means she cannot undermine their spiritual development. Good luck!
 
My dear, there is nothing too complicated here.
It are you ready to compromise your catholic faith or not or can you accept her for what she stand for knowing fully well that already is a thread to the family union? of cause if you can do any of this, why not but if you cannot; then I think the time is still right for you to find your way before it gets too late.
 
All I’ll say is that it is extremely important that you both settle this issue before you take your relationship farther. Also bear in mind that, in order to have a Catholic wedding, she will likely have to assent to raising the kids Catholic…
 
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This reminds me of the experience a friend of my family had. Her father was Presbyterian and her mother was Catholic. While he refused to convert, he consented to having his children raised Catholic (which is more than what your GF is ok with), but after decades of marriage and 5 children later, they divorced primarily because of the rift caused by their religious differences. My friend, now in her 60s, still feels the pain of never having her father present when she received the sacraments, and never having him available when she or her siblings wanted to discuss their spirituality. He never prayed with them as a family unit, and never stepped foot in their parish. This caused immense pain in their family that continues to linger.

My friend went on to search hopelessly for a Catholic husband because she didn’t want to have the same life that her mother did with a non-Catholic who lived a painfully separate life from their family. Funny enough, she fell head-over-heels for a Protestant boy, but he would go on to convert for her. Now he’s our parish deacon & church administrator. 😏

I tell you that story to say that if raising a Catholic family is seriously important to you, it would be most beneficial for all of you to do so with a Catholic wife/mother.
 
She feels that it’s none of the Church’s business to presume to tell a couple how to raise their kids. :roll_eyes:

So what I’m getting overall is that this isn’t a good idea to continue this relationship.
 
As someone suggested before, perhaps encourage her to learn about what it is that she is rejecting before you call it quits.

Of course, if she refuses to even learn more about Catholicism, well…
 
So, what was ACTUALLY said…

“Because Catholicism is more of a man made religion these days. The priests try to act like they are above anyone else and they are some of the worst offenders out there. And I can’t ask my children to believe in something that I don’t even believe in. That’s the height of hypocrisy.”

What will stink about all of this is that I’ve been accepted by her family and friends, and it will be very hard to walk away from all of them.
 
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