I want to write a Rule of Life for myself...need advice

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Cielo300

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Greetings to all CAF members. šŸ™‚ 1st, I want to apologize for how long this post will be. I want to grow in my spiritual life & want to emulate the lives of those consecrated in religious life, but I will never be accepted into a religious order due to my being disabled with mental illness & debts. So far I have been praying my morning prayers (giving thanks for a new day and asking for the Lordā€™s protection) and pray a minimum of at least two of the offices of the Liturgy of the Hours with my Christian Prayer one volume but I want to do more with my spiritual life. I also do alot of spiritual reading but living in a house with others it is not easy to pray at set hours due to errands, having to socialize with people I live with, doctors appointmentsā€¦etc

I decided to start studying the different Rules of Life (Basilian, Augustinian, Benedictineā€¦etc) & come up with a rule of life for myself that would take into account my own personal daily schedule. I desire so much to be attached to a Catholic religious order or Catholic lay association but not having a car makes it hard for me. I want to do evangelization & works of charity by doing the corporal/spiritual works. I know that I can do so from where I am but need more ideas as to how, so writing up a rule of life for myself seems to be a good start. I wish I could travel to prisons or hospitals but I receive so little income from my disability benefits that I canā€™t even afford a taxi to be honestā€¦

I was attending lay Carmelite meetings but being that I donā€™t have a car I have to depend on a ride to these meetings from a lady from my church. The lady who was taking me to these meetings has become so busy that she has missed 4 or 5 months worth of meetings. I had my heart set being in formation as a lay Carmelite but at this rate I donā€™t see it ever becoming a reality & the other lay Carmelites who attend these meetings live too far away from me to give me a ride to the meetings.

I am trying to see if I can become a member of the Legion of Mary at my church since I heard they do alot of apostolic works of charity. I will call them and see if I can get rides from members to their meetings and fellowship in that way so I can do apostolic works with them. (Please pray that this becomes a reality for meā€¦ thank you) What I am asking advice for (finallyā€¦after a long intro lol) concerns others here on this forum that have written a rule of life for themselves. How did you go about doing this? What ideas for evangelization and works of charity would you give to someone such as myself that doesnā€™t have a car?

All the Carmelite monastery/convents are in other counties in Florida. I wish there were third lay orders that accepted lay people for distance formation.

Can anyone direct me to other lay associations or third order groups that accept distance formation? If I could create a lay association for the disabled or for those who live too far of a distance from a monastery I would, but I have no idea how to start it. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Canā€™t wait to read the responsesā€¦ šŸ™‚

Thank you all for reading such a long post & may the Lord richly bless you.
 
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As an oblate, I do my best to follow the Rule of St. Benedict in my daily life. It gives me something to try to live up to.

I have a practice with chapter 4 of the Rule, the tools for good works. It consists of one-line instructions like feed the hungry or never turn away when someone needs your love. I take one line each week and try to find a way to live it out. Some are more obvious, like make a donation to the food bank. Others can be trickier ā€“ how exactly do you not turn away from someone who needs love? On a week like that I might make it a point to look for the person who especially annoys me and use it as an opportunity to be loving to them.

I donā€™t know if tha ers anything that might be helpful on these musings.
 
Iā€™m currently reading M. Basil Penningtonā€™s (O.C.S.O.) A Place Apart, which is about living out the monastic calling in every day secular life - he basically speaks to your question. Iā€™ve also read How to Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job by Benet Tvedten (O.S.B.); itā€™s basically an oblate ā€œhandbookā€, but still relevant. There are other similar works out there by Benedictines and Cistercians (and no doubt others Iā€™m not aware of) that I havenā€™t made it through yet, but I think youā€™re on the right track, and I would recommend some of these books as good guidance.

Also, see this page for a quick version:

 
Cielo300 said:
Can anyone direct me to other lay associations or third order groups that accept distance formation? If I could create a lay association for the disabled or for those who live too far of a distance from a monastery I would, but I have no idea how to start it. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Canā€™t wait to read the responsesā€¦ šŸ™‚
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If the Carmelite order was appealing to you, just adopt their rule & try to live by it. After a year or so thi k it over, figure out what you would change, what would be better, what do you struggle with, how you could do better.

Butā€¦, why not just go down to your local parish & ask them what kind of help they need? & just see where that leads.
 
Golden Rule:
  1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart/ soul/ mind/ strength
  2. Love your neighbour as yourself
 
You seem like a devout person just by what you say. Your dedication and love for prayer and your suffering with your disability and sacrifices would certainly commend that your prayers be joined with the saints. If your search does not produce anything for you, you can simply stay home. The point is God knows that you are incapable to attend.

You do not need to be at a physical location in order for you to have your contribution joined with others. God knows the situation. The order probably knows where you live and they will have your prayers raised with theirs. You can have literature mailed to you to keep you up to date. They know your desires, and that you are restricted in ways not your fault.

Just let them know where you are, and Iā€™m sure they will keep you up to date on the meetings. But most of all donā€™t worry. Remember all the souls from purgatory that you release through your prayers.

As to a rule of life? Someone on this forum had an excellent devotion and that is one I will be starting soon. The Devine Mercy Chaplet and St. Faustinaā€™s Diary can be applied as a daily observance. I was familiar with the Chaplet as I recite it often, but the Diary is something that can be followed daily and I will pursue this. The Faustinaā€™s Diary can be bought for around 10$.

Christ be with you.
 
Hello! Someone invited me to this conversation.

Youā€™ve mentioned mental illness and the devout life. The only options youā€™d have available to you are Third Orders, Oblatures, or lay associations with dedicated laity.

Is there a spiritual director who can come and visit you? Would you be able to make it to Mass? Communion is super important.

Timetables for devotions are determined by oneā€™s obligations.

Your having to interact with others around you almost sounds Vincentian. Are you ministering while interacting?

Everything that Iā€™m doing is ā€œdistance.ā€ We are on Yahoo, and that requires a Yahoo account.

Please feel free to contact me off-loop.

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/ (our main organization)
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/ (our emerging distance society of apostolic life with contemplative branch)
http://cloisters.tripod.com/holyangels/id9.html/ (our distance Dominican Laity)
 
Itā€™s hard when it seems that you donā€™t ā€œfitā€ anywhere within the structure of the Church. However, I would say that your situation lends itself to being in the very heart of the Church. You seem to be headed in that direction, in that you have laid out a rule for yourself, even if it has to be somewhat flexible. You didnā€™t mention time for mental prayer, though. I hope you have included that in your rule.

May I suggest that rather than looking into the third orders, you consider the possibility of looking at your disability and the lack of transportation as an invitation to really enter into the ā€œcloisterā€ of your home. Of course, it wouldnā€™t be a complete cloister since you still live in the world, but a choosing to be cloistered when it is possible. I really am thinking of the Carmelites and their charism of solitude and contemplation. Everyone knows that it is our contemplative, cloistered nuns and monks that have kept the world from a complete annihilation. I think that you could be a very real part of that.
 
This is interesting. Iā€™d never heard of Rule of Life before.
I can pick up a lot from the context, but is there a simple explanation of what one is?
 
A Rule is basically a schedule of the spiritual works you are going to do in a day. It can be simple or exact. Religious Institutes have a schedule of everything they will do in a day. But in the world, it typically means spiritual works. A simple example:

6:00 Rise & say Morning Prayers, Angelus
7:00 Spiritual Reading & Mental Prayer
Noon Angelus
6:00 Angelus & Rosary
10:00 Night Prayers

Also, Prayers Before & After Meals
 
Cielo, I see you live with others, so this may not be an option. However,

Are you/will you be drawn to a life of solitude? Perhaps look into becoming a diocesan hermit under Canon 603. They do live a life of seclusion, support themselves with personal industries, live a life of prayer and penance. They profess vows of the evangelical counsels to the diocesan bishop and draw up a rule for their life in consultation with him.

Also, would you be drawn to life in a Secular Institute, as one who is ā€œleaven in the worldā€? These also profess vows to the superior/general of the institute but but remain living in the world.

Further, if you are a woman and would qualify under the criteria in Canon 604 and its praenotanda, becoming a Consecrated Virgin living in the world is another vocation. There is no rule of life required here but writing out the way in which it would be lived in a particular situation could be helpful for individual discernment.
 
Your musings are very helpful. Thank you so much for your post. God bless. šŸ™‚
 
I read through the article and it had many good recommendations on how to carry out the monastic life in ordinary day to day living. Thank you for the link and for the book recommendations. I will see if they carry them at my local library. God bless. šŸ™‚
 
I am researching different rules to see which speaks to my heart the most and modify according to my daily schedule. The Carmelite lay meetings and no longer being able to attend them, has left me hungering for moreā€¦ Your advice is sound. I am pretty active in my church but i depend on rides alot. Especially now that I have moved and lived farther than walking distance.

I contacted the Legion of Mary at my parish and attended my first meeting tonight. It was very fruitful and I will start accompanying one of the members on hospital and assisted living facility visits.

Thanks for the post. God bless. šŸ™‚
 
Thank you for your kind words. šŸ™‚ The Lord always met people just where they were at and I know he understands my financial situation and inability to travel doing charitable works for lack of having a car.

I know there is power in all prayer and great graces that come to others because of it. I just want to be actively seeking out a way to live out a spiritual life by following a rule of life despite my disability. We are all called to holiness and that is why i posted this thread, in order to get ideas from others on how I can lead a holy life just from where I am.

I have the Diary of St Faustina and have read it all once and am almost halfway through it again. I try to pray the chaplet of Divine Mercy as often as I can. It is a beautiful devotion to have. Thanks for your post. God bless. šŸ™‚
 
THank you so much for the link to the Franciscan Third Order Confraternity. This is exactly what I was looking for. I have to read through the website and see if speaks to my heart. I tried attending Secular Lay Franciscan meetings but it just didnā€™t speak to my heart. Maybe this will be different. THanks again. God bless. šŸ™‚
 
Thank you for your post. I knew that if I posted such a thread that distance formation groups had to exist somewhere for Catholics who are disabled or live too far away from a monastery or convent. I will read carefully through the pages and see if it speaks to my heart. Thanks again. God bless. šŸ™‚
 
Thank you for your post. Your thoughts have crossed my mind many timesā€¦ leading the contemplative life from where I am at in my present situation as a disabled person. My case manager takes me to the bank and in a local thrift store for only 25 cents I found a copy of Interior Castle by St Teresa of Avila and St John of the Crossā€™s Dark Night of the Soul. I dont believe in mere coincidences but GODincidences. šŸ˜‰ That same day i was thinking about not being able to attend the lay Carmelite meetings and was alittle sad and something told me to go to this thrift store and look at the great grace that came my way two books from the great Carmelite mystics. Thanks again and God bless. šŸ™‚
 
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