I want your, help, guys (and girls)

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Hey all, it’s been a few weeks, and I was wondering if you could answer a few questions for me, and generally help me out.

Why the communion of saints, and why Mary for prayer?
Why is divorce wrong?
Why do I want to throw away what is termed good, and do what is termed evil?
What actually is good and evil, and why should we prefer one to the other, when evil still makes us happy and can benefit us (although I think that benefit is more individual than communal)?

Yea, it’s one of those. But, here is a twist - I don’t want Scripture references. They won’t work. I’ll just gloss over them and go, “so what?” I’ve been doing this with a lot of things, lately, and quite frankly, it is getting on my nerves.

I’m pretty sure this is a bad sign.

Lately I have been trying to figure things out on pure reason and logic, and since God is Truth and Reason and all the rest of it, I know that in the end, it will make sense.

Well damn if I knew it was going to be hard…

What I have found myself doing is more and more what I used to do before I became catholic. Sinful pleasures, not bothering with living my life and generally not doing much in the way of being a Christian.

I like to think some people here know of me, and that their view is positive. I want your help because I need it. The help I want isn’t just answers. I want your general guidance and support. This is a rough time for me where I am in a period of “Screw you” to God. I mean, not completely, otherwise I would not be here, but it is more of a “why bother, just because He tells me to? You must not do this… oh shut up, and let me breathe and live!” sort of attitude.

I could recite Scripture and give Saints to counter my own argument. I hate it when that happens, because it means a truly beautiful and full answer will not cut it. I have to know, in its simplicity *why *and how it is.

I want your help because I know God is there and I want to access it, I want to be what is called good, to give and not count the cost, to die for you all and the most I would want is a simple incline of the head in thanks.

Dammit I want to love you.

I also want other things and do other things that at the moment the Church teaches is a no-no. I want marriage and the stuff that goes with it, the freedom to, I don’t know, .listen to whatever music I want to because it is just music, and will hold no sway over me.

I’m weak, because I am not a cradle Catholic. I am not rooted in the basics like ‘God loves me’. ‘God is good, and great and ma friend!’. I’m having to pick those up as I go along. I am comfortable with it taking years, that there will be bumps and turn-offs along the way. If nothing else, I have been taught that we are a pilgrim people, and we are always learning and living more about our faith.

A quick recap about me: 20, converted from lazy Anglicanism when I was 18. Been learning about 3 - 4 things every day since I converted, and a bit beforehand. Trying to break sinful habits and sort of succeeding.

I want it to sink in, for it to be in my heart, and not my mind.

I will pray to God and the saints about this and generally keep going. I think that this suffering is good, that this frustration and absence will make me go ‘oh, yeah’. You know where you have a question that you can’t answer, and it turns out to be really simple, and then you understand it fully, and can help others out because of it?

Yea, I think it is one of those.

But I need you, want you to help me on this path that He called me to. Pray for me, answer this thread, even if it is an, ‘I understand but I cannot help.’ The best thing for you to say to me is that I am not alone in this, and to share with what I am going through. In the past, I have tried to be a brother to you, and help you out. Please, be my brothers and sisters with me, for I want to be worthy enough for God to call me His son, for Christ to call me brother, and for beautiful Mary to call me her son.
 
The reason why we turn to the Communion of Saints and Mary for prayer is because we are all one body. They are membere of the Church Triumphant, and as members of the Church Militant, we need all the help we can get. They can help us by their prayers. So we pray for them to pray for us for aid. We are all connected. We must help each other.

Divorce is wrong because it is tearing asunder what God has joined together. Marriage makes them both one flesh, so not only is divorce wrong, it is spiritually impossible.

About good and evil, it is rooted in God’s commands. Good is in line with God, as he is Good… If against God, it is evil. Otherwise it is neutral. Good helps, evil hurts. N matter what you think evil does to help, it is only a deception. All it will do is damn you in the end.

Hope this helps.
 
Can we start with just one question at a time?
“Why the Communion of Saints, and why Mary?”
Because they have made it already, they are one with HIM for eternity. Their intercession is powerful, we are a family, they are the Church Triumphant (in heaven), we are the Church Militant (here on earth), purgatory is the Church Suffering.
The Blessed Mother is who we all ought to strive to be like as she is the only one who, by a special grace of God, has been One with HIM her entire life, her prayers of intercession are the most powerful of all. We are all called to be Saints (Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.) I think of her (thanks to Saints like St. Terese, the liffle flower, as my Mother, and because Jesus gave her to all of us as He was dying on the Cross for us.)
Since what you are currently doing isn’t working for you, why not try their intercession for yourself? I will keep you in my prayers too, with their intercession, you can pray for us, and as a family, we’ll get through this helping one another.
How’s that for a start?
 
I don’t have time to post a lengthy reply to the questions, but I just wanted to offer my encouragement. I’m not sure if this is what you are feeling, but I’ve definitely gone through (and I’m sure will continue to go through) times when I’ve felt like what I was doing was pointless. It should be simple right? If I really believed this, shouldn’t I be crawling on my knees to the altar at Mass? But remember, faith is an act of the will. Sometimes you feel it, sometimes not. In those times, I find the best prayer is, “Lord, I don’t feel like it and it doesn’t seem real… but I CHOOSE to believe.”

Judging from your post… you sound like you want to believe and to love God. So, have faith and love God. Choose to do it. Keep trying, obviously, to root out sin… but when you fall, don’t get disheartened. Go to confession and keep trying… it will take time and God knows that… He is helping you.

Lastly, I just wanted to recommend two books. The first is “The Way” by St. Escriva, and the second is “The Fulfillment of all Desire” by Ralph Martin. I highly recommend both, but I think first try the second one. It is truly amazing and I recommend it to everyone I know. If there is any one thing that really hits the nail on the head as to what spirituality is about, this is it.

God bless!
 
I will offer my masses up this week for you. Please keep praying yourself. It really does work. And God Bless you.
 
Some things you say so touched me… you are in such a good place. You want Jesus! He’s your answer, he can deliver you from all the “bad stuff” you want to stay away from and give you a new spirit so you instantly love the things He loves and hates the things He hates. Ask Him to redeem you, to make you a new creation in Christ so that you can serve Him how you want to. Cry out to Him, call on Him. It’s so clear to me that God is calling you to Himself. I’m praying for you!
 
myredeemerlives said:
Some things you say so touched me… you are in such a good place. You want Jesus! He’s your answer, he can deliver you from all the “bad stuff” you want to stay away from and give you a new spirit so you instantly love the things He loves and hates the things He hates. Ask Him to redeem you, to make you a new creation in Christ so that you can serve Him how you want to. Cry out to Him, call on Him. It’s so clear to me that God is calling you to Himself. I’m praying for you!
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I agree with this assessment. God is calling to you and he allows you to have questions about his Revelation here on Earth.

One of the things that the great saints of the Church had to overcome was their own doubts and weaknesses. One of the reasons to turn to the saints is because they have that special understanding where you’re at. It’s like connecting with friends who have had similar experiences such as you…they understand, they can connect, and they can find ways to help you. The saints will ask God to help you, through Christ.

Spend some time in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Put yourself in front of Christ and ask him for help. Sometimes the simplest acts can have the greatest effect on us.

God Bless!
 
It sounds like you are searching for true Christianity. As a person with Anglican roots, I must recommend C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity,” a book known to convert many to the faith. He was Anglican. If you like to read, you’ll have to buy the book. You can also get the 5-hour or so audio of the book free from this MP3 link.

God bless you. My initial advice is to pray to God to show you the right path. And do not place parameters on Him that He must answer your prayer in a certain way. He will answer in the way that is best for you.
 
What actually is good and evil, and why should we prefer one to the other, when evil still makes us happy and can benefit us (although I think that benefit is more individual than communal)?
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Sometimes I say to God “how can I be good when I like being bad?” I realize how far I am from Jesus who always did good and wanted good. I say to Him “you know I don’t like the good stuff I just do it because I believe what you said, as long as you don’t change me I cannot like good”.
 
Tell you what,
I give you a prescription for what ails you.

Here is the prescription:
Listen to ‘Our Fathers Plan’ by Scott Hahn and Jeff Cavins.
Can be taken in 13 easy doses.

If your questions are not answered by this audio program, then post them again.
 
The Communion of Saints is not only those who have been canonized, but all “…who have gone before us, marked with the sign of faith…” This is comforting to me, because it includes people I have known & been close to during their earthly lives. I can ask them to hold me up, to help me stay close to God. The ‘Our Father’ prayed carefully & thoughtfully helps me to turn away from the sinful to what is good. One of my favorite passages in the Gospel is the parable where the Pharisee is in the front of the synagogue praying in a very ostentatious way while the humble man is in the back, praying “Have mercy on me, a sinner”. This prayer is known today as the “Jesus Prayer”-- “Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior, have mercy on me, a sinner”. Sometimes I’m at a point where this is all I can pray, but I know it is acceptable to God. I am praying for you and will lift you up in my 3 AM prayer circle shift tomorrow morning.
 
I want to thank you all for your responses so far. It is really nice to look at this in a positive light, that I am going through this trial to deepen my faith and become more rooted to God, rather than be thought of as a bad person whose past and evil inclinations are all he is. So I want to thank you for welcoming me for who I am: a sinner who came to the faith, and is now suspicious of the Truth revealed to him.

In my studies, I have come to a couple of conclusions. The first, is that I would rather be thought of as someone who tries to keep the commandments and is therefore loved, rather than someone who breaks the commandments, and is thus hated.
The second, is that being catholic doesn’t make you a saint, it simply means that you say “I am a sinner, and I don’t want to be, any more.”
These I came up with like last year or something, and I think that it is only recently that I am seeing the light of them.

I want Christ. I made the decision in good faith (no pun intended), and I am at a time of “maybe I made the wrong decision” and it is in this low point, where having entered this relationship, I am in need of counsel. I have knowledge, yet I lack wisdom.

It gives me great hope that I am in this situation. Yes, I sometimes want to drop it all and run away and live in my sin. Yet I cannot say no to truth. My mind tells me to pray, to give in to that truth, because it is good and right. My heart tells me to throw it away and become lax, to give in to my heart and be my own master.

I know the flaw of logic in my heart, for it is in my mind. I cannot say no to someone who loves me. Aye, for all my faults, I say Jesus is Lord, and you know what that means.

I am on this path, I have chosen it, even if at times in my sin I regret it. But the path I walk is not an easy one. I was not brought up in a family of faith, nor have I had an easy life in my heart. The path I walk is my own, and it is clothed in shadow. The shadow is familiar to me, yet I desire the light. If I see the light as blinding, it is only because I fail to open my eyes, and seek warmth in the darkness I created.

It is poetic, but it is truth. He has called me out of darkness to live a life of love and good. I said yes, and it is time for me to find out how it all works.

It gives me great hope, because in faith I believe I will have answers. Even if I cannot bring myself to pray the Our Father, I can bring myself to Him and show Him my doubt. It is not much, for all the progress I had made in the past, but it is something to start with.
 
You said…
Even if I cannot bring myself to pray the Our Father, I can bring myself to Him and show Him my doubt.

God wants us to come to Him with all things, just keep praying. Tell Him you want Him to lead you in the way you should go. Have faith, and He will do it for you. And tell Him all your doubts and fears too, lay it all at His feet.

I’m praying for you.
 
I know waht you are going through as I was there a year ago, I’m 19 by the way and I am a cradle Catholic but I was struggling with the same thoughts as you. What helped me the most was to get involved at mass. If you can become a Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist or sing in the choir. I played guitar at mass during my first and so far only semester of college. Also, if you haven’t been to adoration it helps so much. I just sat there for an hour one day and was blessed so much by God’s grace. It took me a moment to change from my old ways to seeing the Lord. God bless and I will be sending prayers your way.
 
I heartily agree with those who suggested to you that you spend some time with Jesus in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. If your Parish doesn’t yet have that, why not ask Father about it?
In the meantime, you can spend time with Him in front of the Tabernacle, He is there waiting for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
God does love you and His Blessed Mother is your Mother too, Jesus said so from the Cross, why not ask her for her intercession also? I will. 👍
 
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