I went my friend's daughter's school prom

[dumbseeker]

I understand teens will be teens. I guess I was just hoping they had learned enough morals at home to not do such things, especially at a Catholic function. Age does not excuse us from behaving properly in public places. Kids will try things they know they aren’t supposed to do when out of their parents’ presence. But when they are doing these kinds of things out in public, with priests and parents present, that shows a lack of respect for everyone else. Not to mention that I believe it to be a “near occasion of sin.” IMHO

just as you said, they should have learned enough morals to know what’s right and wrong. their self-conscience and knowledge should be informing them not to do such things.

 

[SophieG]

But I have a question: would you grind with someone at a dance even if he’s your boyfriend? Wouldn’t you feel that’s weird? rubbing against someone’s genital even if he’s your boyfriend?

As a female 17yo, who is currently in high school–No, I would not grind with anyone, anywhere. I think “weird” is an understatement for how that would feel. Try filthy or perverted.

 

[jmcrae]

I don’t understand why kids who behave this way are simply not sent home from the dance as soon as an adult sees them doing this? Are they worried about getting sued, or what?

(They should worry about the parents of the girls suing them for allowing this to be done to their daughters, I think.)

 

[AdriannaJean]

I don’t understand why kids who behave this way are simply not sent home from the dance as soon as an adult sees them doing this? Are they worried about getting sued, or what?

(They should worry about the parents of the girls suing them for allowing this to be done to their daughters, I think.)

Unfortunately, if they sent everyone home who did this then there would be no one at dances

I’m 18 and just graduated from a Catholic high school and I, sadly, have to report that this kind of dancing is all there is in my generation. Whose fault that is? I would have to point a pretty heavy finger at the music industry. Kids aren’t dancing like this because they think it’s the best option out of all of them, they’re dancing like this because they know nothing else.

I can’t speak for guys, but for girls, they all would swoon if some guy grabbed them and waltzed them across the dancefloor, but since no guys do that anymore, the girls make do with what they have and settle And, this may seem odd, but I blame this on the feminists. I’m all for equal rights, but guys have been trained that acting like a gentleman is condescending. Since the sexual revolution women have expected little of men, so men have become little.

PARENTS OF TEENAGE BOYS!! Teach your sons how to dance, properly. He won’t believe you at first that being able to waltz, rhumba and salsa is the way to get the girl, but if he gives it one chance, he’ll be happily proven wrong. It seems like everyone forgets that little girls are raised wanting to be a princess, that instinct never really dies out

PARENTS OF TEENAGE GIRLS!! Teach your girls to expect respect. Guys will do what it takes to get the girl, if that is opening doors, paying for dinner and dancing like Prince Charming instead of Ludacris then they will do it! Tell your daughters that it may take them a little longer than their friends to get a boyfriend, but isn’t a good one worth waiting a little bit for? Expect it of your guy friends and any male around you and you will eventually get it.

 

[jmcrae]

Unfortunately, if they sent everyone home who did this then there would be no one at dances

I have a feeling that if an example were made of two or three people, the rest would fall into line. Besides, what would you lose, if the dance got cancelled?

I’m 18 and just graduated from a Catholic high school and I, sadly, have to report that this kind of dancing is all there is in my generation. Whose fault that is? I would have to point a pretty heavy finger at the music industry. Kids aren’t dancing like this because they think it’s the best option out of all of them, they’re dancing like this because they know nothing else.

Around here, they teach dance in Phys Ed. And around here, I haven’t seen any of this kind of dancing - not that I go to a lot of school dances, but the ones I’ve been to don’t have this sort of thing going on. The kids do different variations on the Jive, mostly, and they also do various kinds of line dancing. The weirdest thing I see is boys dancing with boys, but I don’t think it means anything; they like girls, but they are terrified of them, so they dance with each other.

 

[Catholic90]

My son had to learn ballroom dancing, including the salsa, rumba, walt, and more for a play he did. The dancing was the big Broadway style - complete with twirling the girl, flipping the girl, etc. He went to prom and he and several of the cast members started dancing like this at prom. He said it was the most fun he’s ever had. He said there was also some grinding, but he did not do it. Prom was chaperoned by the the high school teachers.

 

[AdriannaJean]

I have a feeling that if an example were made of two or three people, the rest would fall into line. Besides, what would you lose, if the dance got cancelled?

At least I can speak for my school in this regard, examples have been made, dances cancelled and nothing has worked. School dances are the only real revenue that the Student Council brings in, so they are needed for the good of the school and can’t be cancelled indefinitely. Stricter supervision would be awesome, and yeah maybe it would work and people would stop dancing like that at one school, but kids go to dances at lots of different schools and would dance like that someplace else. It’s more of a societal issue than a one-school thing.

Around here, they teach dance in Phys Ed. And around here, I haven’t seen any of this kind of dancing - not that I go to a lot of school dances, but the ones I’ve been to don’t have this sort of thing going on. The kids do different variations on the Jive, mostly, and they also do various kinds of line dancing. The weirdest thing I see is boys dancing with boys, but I don’t think it means anything; they like girls, but they are terrified of them, so they dance with each other.

They taught dance in my PE class too, but it was a total joke, maybe that’s just my school though. Are the dances you’ve been to high school dances? If so I am very surprised and will consider moving to wherever you live immediately! In PE class they taught us how to line and square dance, they didn’t effectively teach couple dancing that kids would actually do.

 

[Blade_and_Blood]

they should have known they were not supposed to do that because they were in a catholic school. and i’m also surprised that the teachers were doing nothing. why don’t they just act like you, who rejects that kind of style?

Well… marjority rules.

Ironically Yours.

 

[Holly3278]

For some reason, I went to my friend’s daughter’s school prom. I was severely surprised by what I saw. Most of the kids were doing that kind of grinding dance! Maybe I’m just outdated. But I have a question: would you grind with someone at a dance even if he’s your boyfriend? Wouldn’t you feel that’s weird? rubbing against someone’s genital even if he’s your boyfriend?

Nope, I would never do that and I view that kind of dancing as immoral too.

 

[narrowpath]

Here in our deeply religious (not) canada, I’ve never been to a teen dance, chaperoned or not (and one on a Mediterranian cruise) where this wasn’t the only form of dancing. This is the degeneration of culture that I’m always writing about…

We might be teens, but we can control ourselves. congrats to all those grads.

I’m a couple years away…

 

[SacredHeartFan]

Sadly I have “danced” this way and have gone to confession for it. It is dirty and filthy.

A tip for other teenage guys: learn by my example: girls would much rather dance respectfully than like that. try a waltz or two and you’ll have every girl there!

 

[Shannon9791]

For some reason, I went to my friend’s daughter’s school prom. I was severely surprised by what I saw. Most of the kids were doing that kind of grinding dance! Maybe I’m just outdated. But I have a question: would you grind with someone at a dance even if he’s your boyfriend? Wouldn’t you feel that’s weird? rubbing against someone’s genital even if he’s your boyfriend?

I’m pusing 30, so I kinda came of age right when this type of dancing started, but from someone who learned to dance watching Vanilla Ice and M.C. Hammer music videos I was always happy to dance by myself. Slow songs were OK for dancing with girls, but when the tempo sped up, I was ready to attack the dance floor by myself. I just hang my head now when I see young ladies grinding on dudes. And while it may seem like guys are the benefactor of this behavior, but sometimes very embarrassing things can occur when a girl is grinding all over him.

 

[AndyF]

dumbseeker:

Remarkably, I like the music of south american Tango-like Lambada. It grinds frontal also, but I doubt if I would let my granddaughters dance that, but the music including trumpet and bongos is wonderful, and one can still Tango with respectable distance.

You will recall the Bump was a close second. I danced that and was pretty good. (I’m showing my age.) Bumping up against feminine fannies was errr…“neat” but decadent?

Frontal? No way.

Andy

 

[Emily2009]

I am another 18 year old recent graduate.

I would not ever do the ‘grinding’ thing…I don’t think you can even call it a dance…but most of my classmates did partake in it–Catholic or not. I graduated in a small public school (71 people in my class), 98% of my town is Christian (only like 65 or 70% Catholic)…but,…it is terrible.

My boyfriend, a 17 year old,…HATES going to dances. He feels it’s terribly wrong, is completely devastated to see his friends doing such things, and wishes there was a way he could make people understand what they were doing.

Not all teens will act like hormonial…uncontrolled people. It is possible to like/love someone very much–but, if you like/love someone that much, you should want what’s best for them, not what necessarilly feels good.

I’ve been dating this guy for 18 months, now,…and he’d do anything to protect me. He says his ultimate goal, right now, is to help us both become the best we can be and to get us to Heaven–he wouldn’t do anything that would hinder that chance. (Of course, he is Catholic, so that helps )

 

[Palm_Tree]

Yep - chaperoned at a Catholic High School. It was a grind fest as always. Several groups of parents got together & tried to get the Administration to set stronger guidelines about what is and is not acceptable. We were told it’s the way EVERYBODY dances today… basically get over it.

That would be like saying that EVERYBODY in high school does drugs, smokes cigarettes, uses curse words, etc. Yeah, you see a lot of it, but that doesn’t mean everybody does it and it doesn’t mean it is acceptable.

Come on, giving lap-dances, dry-humping, etc is not acceptable behavior among high-school-aged children, especially not at a high school dance chaperoned by their parents and their teachers, and most especially not at a Catholic school. The reason parents shell out the extra thousands of dollars to sent their kids to Catholic schools is so their children are raised as good Christian ladies and gentlemen, and even public schools ban their students from giving lap-dances, dry-humping etc at their dances.

And no, grinding is not the way EVERYBODY dances. What is common is hip hop dancing, it is very popular. But go to a club with a lot of hip hop dancing, or go to youtube and look up videos of people hip hop dancing and you will find a wide variety of people hip hop dancing without engaging in stuff like giving lap-dances, dry-humping, etc. For example, I went to a few weddings recently and NOBODY was out there on the dance floor grinding, not even any of the high-school-aged-children or even the college-aged-kids–yet they were very into hip hop dancing and having a great time with it.

Don’t ask the Administration to ban hip hop dancing, just ask the Administration to ban the types of hip hop dancing that are not acceptable behavior among high-school-aged children. Would the Administration be cool with allowing slow-dancing where the couples have their hands all over each others’ bottoms? Of course not. They would feel the same way about dry-humping, giving lap-dances, etc if you are very clear to them that this is what you want to see banned. For example, just a do a quick google search and you will find many high schools (even San Francisco-area public schools) that have banned inappropriate dancing like grinding, even at their proms. I wouldn’t be surprised if the vast majority of high schools, both private and public, ban stuff like dry-humping and giving lap dances at their school dances. For example, call up all the private and public schools in your area and ask what their guidelines are for inappropriate dancing, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the vast majority ban stuff like dry-humping and giving lap dances at their school dances. Show all that to your Administration, and point out to them that such stuff is normally banned by high schools, both private and public, even in places like San Francisco.

 

[Palm_Tree]

Yep - chaperoned at a Catholic High School…grind fest as always. Several groups of parents got together & tried to get the Administration to set stronger guidelines about what is and is not acceptable. We were told it’s the way EVERYBODY dances today… basically get over it.

…just a do a quick google search and you will find many high schools (even San Francisco-area public schools) that have banned inappropriate dancing like grinding, even at their proms…

For example:

Temecula Valley Unified School District (between Los Angeles and San Diego, California)
Dance Policies
No dancing such as moshing, or slamming will be permitted. No bending over, grinding,
both feet must be on the floor, appropriate space must be maintained, no leg or hip
riding, and any other inappropriate dancing deemed by the Administration. NOTE:
Violation of the dancing policy will consist of immediate consequences up to removal
from the dance. No reimbursement or refund will be given when asked to leave the
dance for not following this agreement
tvhs.tvusd.k12.ca.us/activities/TEMECULA%20VALLEY%20USD%20DANCE%20POLICY.pdf

CYPRESS HIGH SCHOOL (public high school in Los Angeles area, California)
EVENT POLICIES
No inappropriate dancing will be tolerated, this includes, but is not limited to
“slam dancing”, “bumping”, “grinding”, “freaking”, and or any other dancing,
movements, or gyrations that are deemed inappropriate by the Cypress High
School Administration, Faculty, or Staff
cypresshs.org/ourpages/auto/2008/2/29/1204307238311/Event_Pilicies.pdf

Merrill F. West High School (public high school 60 miles east of San Francisco, California)
Code of Conduct Contract for School Dances
Behavior Standards

1. No private parts touching anywhere.
2. No lap dancing.
3. No leg lifting and wrapping each other.
4. No all-fours or ground position.
5. No bending over.
6. No making out.
7. No music requests
   tracy.k12.ca.us/whs/Publications/dance_guidelines.pdf

LAGUNA HILLS HIGH SCHOOL (public high school in Los Angeles area, California)
ACTIVITIES OFFICE – PROM 2009 BEHAVIOR CONTRACT
Students agree to conduct themselves in a school appropriate manner at the dance. This includes but is not limited to “freak” dancing, inappropriate dancing or acting in an overt sexual nature. Freak Dancing rules includes but are not limited to: No back to front dancing, no riding the leg, both feet on the floor, and no bending over. There will be no warnings. Any student who is dancing inappropriately will be escorted out of the dance and their parents will be notified to pick the student up immediately. The student(s) will not be able to remain until the end of the dance even though your transportation may have been by limo, special bus, or any other means of transportation.
svusd.k12.ca.us/Schools/LHHS/PROM_2009_CONTRACT.doc

Archbishop Mitty High School (private, Roman Catholic, high school in San Jose, California)
All dance styles must comply with standards of modesty and safety. The faculty and administrators in attendance will be the final judge of the appropriateness of dance style. Inappropriate dancing includes, but is not limited to, the following: slam dancing, moshing, freaking or booty dancing (including prone, butt-to-crotch, crotch-to-crotch, and “sandwich” dancing), or otherwise inappropriate or dangerous dancing.
mitty.com/studentactivities/02_dances.php

MIRA LOMA HIGH SCHOOL (public high school in Sacramento, California)
DANCE POLICY
8. No “slamming,” “moshing,” or “grinding” will be permitted. Front to front dancing that is sexually suggestive (groping, freaking, dirty dancing, grinding, etc.), lewd or obscene will not be tolerated. Examples of inappropriate dancing are the following:
1. Hands on the ground
2. Bending over
3. Laying on the ground
4. Straddling or leg-wrapping
5. Touching other people’s private parts
…
Students who engage in such dancing will be removed from the dance floor the first time and after a second warning lose dance privileges for the rest of the current dance and the next scheduled dance that they are allowed to attend. If large groups engage in such activities, it may be necessary to stop the music and end the dance. We want to maintain a safe atmosphere conducive to everyone’s enjoyment. The school administration and staff chaperones will use their best judgment to identify dance moves or styles that are contrary to the dance rules.
sanjuan.edu/files/84238/MIRA%20LOMA%20HIGH%20SCHOOL%20DANCE%20POLICY.doc

 

[Palm_Tree]

And…

Grand Haven High School (public high school in Michigan)
There is to be no inappropriate dancing (dirty dancing, grinding, banging bodies, passing bodies, and/or jumping/flipping.) Students dancing in this manner will be asked to stop and subsequent inappropriate dancing will result in being removed from the dance.
ghaps.org/ghhs/dance_guidelines.htm

Brentsville District High School (public high school in Virginia)
Prom Contract
Students who dance in an inappropriate lewd and lascivious dancing manner such as “freaking” will be asked to leave the dance and will not receive a refund of the admission fee, nor will they be eligible to attend the next school dance. Rules for inappropriate dancing include, but are not limited to:
A. No straddling legs of your partner;
B. No touching if dancing back to front;
C. No touching of breasts, buttocks, or genitals;
D. Both feet on the floor;
E. Hands on waist or shoulders only;
F. No “moshing”;
G. No hands on the floor; and
H. No multiple student freak dancing.
Appropriate dancing is up to the discretion of the chaperones and will not be debated! Parents will be notified if students have been asked to leave the dance.
brentsvillehs.groupfusion.net/modules/groups/homepagefiles/cms/31050/File/Announcements/Brentsville%20District%20High%20School%20Prom%20Contract.doc?sessionid=0ce7631cd9087df9d20a152eeca8fcd2

 

[AndyF]

Emily2009:

You sound like an upstanding and vigilant young lady, good for you.

Andy

 

[jilly4ski]

Its really sad when college aged girls go to the bar with their 6 guy friends and grind with all them but then get really offended if another guy on the dance floor (probably drunk and doesn’t even know who he is dancing with) grinds with them. I mean, is it really any different than what you just did with the 6 other guys?
I have never danced like this and will not (as a female student only one year removed from undergrad). I think I would feel molested or sexually harrassed, but then I don’t engage in those kind of behavors.

Pax,

 

[whatevergirl]

Guess it is strange around here. School rules are very clear about what is and is not permitted. “Simulated sexual acts” are not permitted, someone trys them, they are kicked out of the dance. Happy our public schools have moral administrators.

*lol you make me laugh kage. Same here, if there is ‘grinding’ type dancing, the kids are sent home. I’ve been impressed with the strictness of this new school (new to the area and to us moving here 2 yrs ago), and that the rules are actually enforced. *