I would rather see you dead at my feet

[lucybeebee]

There has been a rash of teacher-student sex scandals in recent years. In those incidents that involved female teachers and male students, many commentators including so-called “conservatives” reacted by saying that the boys were not harmed by the relationships and that such encounters should be even be seen as normal or natural. What I have not seen from anyone is the fact that such a cavalier attitude has on the soul. How many teacher or parents would take the attitude of Queen Blanche, mother of St. Louis of France, who said, “I love you my dear son, as much as a mother can love her child; but I would rather see you dead at my feet than that you should commit a mortal sin.” All persons who instruct young people should consider how they influence their charges for good or evil. It only takes one mortal sin to be condemned to hell. When society cheers these young lotharios on, what kind of path are we sending them on?

 

[duskyjewel]

The thing that bothers me about it is that these people perpetuate the myth that boys are not the victims of sexual abuse. That makes me so angry, because if someone violated one of my sons, he deserves the same justice as if it happened to his sister!

Many times these are older teen boys. I don’t doubt that they probably enjoy the sex itself, and may not feel harmed. But these teachers are in authority over them, and that power differential in itself makes these relationships harmful.

I think no one under 30 (possibly 35) should be allowed to teach high school. That would remove the age proximity and the feeling that these relationships are not harmful. Why couldn’t we do that? New teachers start in elementary school, and then work their way up to junior high and high school.

 

[puzzleannie]

classic behavior of abusers is to justify and rationalize their actions
“she asked for it” from the rapist
“child sexual expressin is normal and natural” from the pedophile
“I was born this way” from the active homosexual
“My wife and I have grown apart/she gained 40 lbs/ she no longer attracts me” etc. from the adulterous husband
“my wife does things on purpose to rile me” from the wife abuser

Whatever the abusers in these cases, or their defenders (who share their perversions) think, the fact remains it is against the law, and the law must make them pay. Age proximity has little or nothing to do with these cases. In 3 prominent cases in Ohio alone the abusers were at least 20 yrs older than their victims. and yes, boys are just as victimized as girls would be.

 

[sanctamaria17]

I’m preparing for an interview at a rape crisis center in my city and I have to say, this appalls me. First of all, if it was a male teacher and a female student, these same commentators would be up in arms. Second of all, regardless of whether or not it was consensual, the teacher is still in authority over the student, so the relationship would still be unequal and unhealthy. Third, who’s to say that the boy is always willing? Aroused does not mean willing!

I agree with duskyjewel about high school teachers. I’m 18 years old and I have friends, both male and female who are a few years older than myself. Some of these men I would not mind dating. However, that’s because I’m an adult, mostly on my own, and we’re both students finding our own purpose. In high school, if you have a student who’s 18 and a teacher who is only a few years older, that can cause complications. If they were at least 30, however, you remove those age proximities.

Finally, as for the mortal sin issue, I agree. There is no way that these relationships could be considered “normal” or “natural” and, like I said, if it was a female student and male teacher, I don’t think they would be seen as normal or natural.

 

[Gertabelle]

I think no one under 30 (possibly 35) should be allowed to teach high school. That would remove the age proximity and the feeling that these relationships are not harmful. Why couldn’t we do that? New teachers start in elementary school, and then work their way up to junior high and high school.

I don’t think raising the age of high school teachers would make that much difference. A child molester isn’t going to care whether the age difference is a few years or a few decades. I was hit on by my high school choir teacher during my senior year. He was twice my age (34), but that didn’t stop him from crossing that line.

As a teacher, I am a fierce protector of the children in my care. And as a teacher, if I ever had any sort of attraction to any school age person (even a high school student), I would check myself into the nearest psych ward for evaluation. Being that person in authority means that the commitment to protecting the children simply blocks out those feelings.

Gertie

 

[chevalier]

I can’t see how sleeping with teachers could help a boy grow into a responsible man unless perhaps by teaching him some painful lessons, i.e. good coming out of evil in the end, but that’s another story. In short, it’s natural that boys will find young female teachers natural, but it’s not natural that they should sleep with them. Besides, err, doesn’t pre- or extramarital sex harm people anyway?

 

[AHapka]

I think no one under 30 (possibly 35) should be allowed to teach high school. That would remove the age proximity and the feeling that these relationships are not harmful.

So we attempt to prevent a crime happening by discriminating on the basis of age? How does this make sense? Do we really think that the rapist cares about the age difference? And are you willing to throw out the 99% of good teachers because of the 1% of bad ones?

If you draw that to it’s logical conclusion you could say that we shouldn’t allow men to teach because they commit a higher percentage of such acts. If we take that even further, we could have only online teachers and have the kids sit in front of a computer all day so that there is no chance of any physical contact. They could see all that they need to see via video feed.

That’s almost the same logic as saying we can prevent sexual abuse by Priests by allowing them to marry. Let’s deal with the offenders, not deprive those who are worthy of going into the career from doing so by an arbitrary age restriction.

 

[Wolseley]

Welcome to America in the 21st century, where our entire culture is based on pelvic activity and the satisfaction obtained therefrom.

 

[duskyjewel]

duskyjewel;3146532:

I think no one under 30 (possibly 35) should be allowed to teach high school. That would remove the age proximity and the feeling that these relationships are not harmful.

So we attempt to prevent a crime happening by discriminating on the basis of age? How does this make sense? Do we really think that the rapist cares about the age difference? Um…yes, actually. I think the sexual boundaries in our society are so eroded that people think any seemingly consensual sex is OK, even if they are in authority. The age-proximity makes students seem like equals, and therefore capable of consenting. And are you willing to throw out the 99% of good teachers because of the 1% of bad ones? Who said anything about throwing anyone out? I said let them start in younger grades and work their way up!

If you draw that to it’s logical conclusion you could say that we shouldn’t allow men to teach because they commit a higher percentage of such acts. If we take that even further, we could have only online teachers and have the kids sit in front of a computer all day so that there is no chance of any physical contact. They could see all that they need to see via video feed. Ah… the long-revered slippery slope argument.

That’s almost the same logic as saying we can prevent sexual abuse by Priests by allowing them to marry. Let’s deal with the offenders, not deprive those who are worthy of going into the career from doing so by an arbitrary age restriction. Once again. I said nothing of preventing anyone’s career. I am speaking here of what I thought was common sense prudence.

 

[Arlene]

I think no one under 30 (possibly 35) should be allowed to teach high school. That would remove the age proximity and the feeling that these relationships are not harmful. Why couldn’t we do that? New teachers start in elementary school, and then work their way up to junior high and high school.

hmmm. Not sure about that. I had a very close friend who started teaching high school math right out of college. She was well suited to teaching older kids, probably not so the younger ones. She is now in her mid 40’s and to my knowledge never had any children.

I have another friend who taught high school ag classes. Even though she has children of her own, she readily admits, “give me a whole classroom of the older ones any time”

Its a matter of having different gifts and talents.

As a parent of elementary school children, do I really want their teachers to be people who really don’t have a gift with younger children but are required to put in their time until they are old enough to teach where their heart is at?

 

[lucybeebee]

I don’t think that the problem is chronological age, but the fact that too many teachers seem to be at the mental age or their charges. In many of these cases, the teacher in question was said to be “cool” and didn’t have a problem socializing with the kids in questionable ways. There was no sense that this person was an authority figure. In general, there seems to be a problem with adults trying to be kids’ friends, rather than being authority figures as they ought to. Once you (re)establish the fact that there are clear lines between students and teachers, moral clarity can set in again.

 

[puzzleannie]

I don’t think that the problem is chronological age, but the fact that too many teachers seem to be at the mental age or their charges. In many of these cases, the teacher in question was said to be “cool” and didn’t have a problem socializing with the kids in questionable ways. .

the general trait of those who sexually abuse children and adolescents is difficulty or aversion to forming normal social interaction and relationships with adults. It is one thing to be a “cool” teacher who models attractive adult behavior in ways children want to emulate, and quite another to be an adult who spends his recreational time exclusively with children or youth, and does not have normal adult friendships. that is probably the no 1 red flag in spotting abusers.

 

[Mac6yver]

Would those of you suggesting a minimum age for teachers feel the same way about priest? After all, the priest are in a position of authority over children.