P
POJIUJH
Guest
Hello everyone, for 7 years I have been an addict to sins of the flesh. With God’s grace, the Rosary, Our Lady’s unfailing assistance, the Sacraments and the numerous prayers I have asked for on these forums, God has kept me pure for two years.
I am forever thankful for this, and please everyone, if you could, stop and say even a Hail Mary for me and for other people who are in my situation.
I am currently having a bit of trouble, in that I seem to be training myself into OCD behaviour, but I’m not exactly sure how. A habit of mine that I have kept up is by nipping myself every time the inevitable thoughts produced by habit from those 7 years of Hell come to mind, then proceeding to ask for the help of Jesus, Mary and the Saints. this always seems to be a good way to “wake” you to the situation and I am sure the nipping is good also as a psychological guard to associate with these things.
I don’t think that this is what is causing it, but recently these thoughts are turning more obsessive and seem to permeate anything I do that isn’t fully focused on carrying out some other task. The nippings I have gotten used to and just aren’t as sharp as they were, so I have had to resort to more and more violent means. Hitting my knuckles together, slapping myself, punching solid walls. Even, when pushed for anything else, having to resort to punching myself squarely in the ribs just to distract my mind. It seems nothing else does it, as this obsessiveness is able to effect even prayer, so that it no longer is able to distract the mind enough.
I work self employed, so I do most often than not work beyond evening time, this I don’t mind so much, as I don’t have any real leisure activities. My work is fairly enjoyable compared to other trades, but I do tend to get to sleep quite late because of this.
I fear to think that this could get any worse, could anyone offer me any advice? Would my work and times of rest be helping to cause this situation?
Any help is much appreciated.
I am forever thankful for this, and please everyone, if you could, stop and say even a Hail Mary for me and for other people who are in my situation.
I am currently having a bit of trouble, in that I seem to be training myself into OCD behaviour, but I’m not exactly sure how. A habit of mine that I have kept up is by nipping myself every time the inevitable thoughts produced by habit from those 7 years of Hell come to mind, then proceeding to ask for the help of Jesus, Mary and the Saints. this always seems to be a good way to “wake” you to the situation and I am sure the nipping is good also as a psychological guard to associate with these things.
I don’t think that this is what is causing it, but recently these thoughts are turning more obsessive and seem to permeate anything I do that isn’t fully focused on carrying out some other task. The nippings I have gotten used to and just aren’t as sharp as they were, so I have had to resort to more and more violent means. Hitting my knuckles together, slapping myself, punching solid walls. Even, when pushed for anything else, having to resort to punching myself squarely in the ribs just to distract my mind. It seems nothing else does it, as this obsessiveness is able to effect even prayer, so that it no longer is able to distract the mind enough.
I work self employed, so I do most often than not work beyond evening time, this I don’t mind so much, as I don’t have any real leisure activities. My work is fairly enjoyable compared to other trades, but I do tend to get to sleep quite late because of this.
I fear to think that this could get any worse, could anyone offer me any advice? Would my work and times of rest be helping to cause this situation?
Any help is much appreciated.