I yell too much

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Dulcinea2721 said:
Another vote for angry outbursts here.

Here is a question for you **why **are you yelling? Anger? frustration? despair? tiredness?

When you can figure out why you yell, it will be easier to curb it. Still working on it but much improved.

Pray for patience. Ask for guidance.

Yesterday after confessing my anger (amongst other things) I got "say kind things to your each one of your kids today. It made me more conscious of my communication style.
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I’ve heard about that, as well, that underneath anger actually lies another emotion.
 
DoNotWorry said:
Know what has essentially cured me from yelling at my kids? My father-in-law moving in with us. Basically, I want him to think I am a kind and patient mother. Also, when I am out in public, I want others to see me as kind and patient. The sad thing is, I realized that the people I should care most about thinking I am a kind and loving and patient mother are my own kids. Now I almost never yell, and my kids are so well-behaved and happy. It is a habit. Once you just stop for awhile, it becomes easy 🙂
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Well said.

This was another thing that helped me–not wanting to be a hypocrite who put on a good show of Perfect Loving Mother in public and became a tyrant at home behind closed doors. Thinking if I can teach them calmly and lovingly in public instead of yell, then I’m obviously making a choice and do have self control.
 
ClearWater said:
I read that humility is the opposite of pridefulness.
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Yes, this is true, but pridefulness is often a contributor to anger. There are often more than just one opposite virtue to develop to discourage a vice.
 
holyrood said:
Well said.

This was another thing that helped me–not wanting to be a hypocrite who put on a good show of Perfect Loving Mother in public and became a tyrant at home behind closed doors. Thinking if I can teach them calmly and lovingly in public instead of yell, then I’m obviously making a choice and do have self control.
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This is so good! I have had the same pang of conscience. I need to remember that there is a cloud of witnesses at all times AND that my vocation to motherhood comes before pretty much everything else in this life. If I mess up with my kids, nothing else much counts in my favor. And considering my own family history, I know just how broken things can become.😦
Thank you for pointing out this truth. I DO have a choice. I should make the right one.
 
Dorothy said:
I knew a priest who would always tell us when we needed patience, or any other virtue, we should pray this way:

“Jesus, be my patience.” When we do that we are acknowledging our weakness and asking Him to supply His grace.

He mentioned other things as well such as:

“Jesus be my wisdom”.

“Jesus be my sense of humor.”

etc., etc. And we can pray that way right after receiving Him in the Eucharist.
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Great advice, thank you for posting!
 
miguel said:
Like a lamb lead to the slaughter he opened not his mouth. Jesus gave us the example on the cross. False expectations are part of this problem. If I expect to be treated better than our Lord on the cross, them I’m gonna yell every time someone doesn’t show me the respect I think I deserve. It’s almost a pre-programmed response. And it becomes a bad habit. Possibly have a plan the next time someone treats you with disrespect, to practice some alternate response. He’ll help us too. And don’t be too hard on yourself if you fail on several attempts. Bad habits take time to form and time to unform. The important thing is that you’re aware of the problem and trying to work on it and others are aware also. God Bless.
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Thank you miguel. I needed to hear this. I think pride is part of it now that I think about it. Like you said our Lord was disrespected alot alot and His responses did not depend upon others’ behavior. Very good food for thought. Thank you!
 
mommamaree said:
This is so good! I have had the same pang of conscience. I need to remember that there is a cloud of witnesses at all times AND that my vocation to motherhood comes before pretty much everything else in this life. If I mess up with my kids, nothing else much counts in my favor. And considering my own family history, I know just how broken things can become.😦
Thank you for pointing out this truth. I DO have a choice. I should make the right one.
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so true!
 
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