Idea

[Joy2day]

:newidea:
When marriages dissolve, which occurs quite often in our society, catholics have the option of obtaining an annulment. This involves a deal of investigation, attempting to get people around at the time of the marriage to give details if they can remember etc. It can take up to 2years to process. The church then determines whether the marriage was valid.
Given the high rate of divorce, why doesnt the church give extensive pre-marriage preparation to those wanting to get married in church? Maybe a type of pre-marriage annulment process to better inform people of the validity of theirmarriage as well as the advisability of their marriage. After a process of (say) 1-2 years, people might be better informed on their real prospects if they wed. This would not be compulsory but open to those who want it.

 

[Fiery_One]

Given the high rate of divorce, why doesnt the church give extensive pre-marriage preparation to those wanting to get married in church?

Actually, this is already in place. Pre-Cana is the course (usually 6 months) led by the parish priest or deacon which couples must undergo before they can be married. I would say the Church can only do so much - the onus is really on the couple to make their marriage work.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

That is exactly what the Church has been trying to do. It should be mandatory, not optional.

 

[Soren_Itenu]

Because marriage is the vocation of most people, it isn’t that hard to do.

We’re just selfish and lazy, and divorce is socially acceptable, so we cant be bothered to stick around, to love through the hard times, and make good marriages.

Having a good marriage can be difficult, but having a valid marriage isn’t.

 

[Aussieman88]

Because marriage is the vocation of most people, it isn’t that hard to do.

We’re just selfish and lazy, and divorce is socially acceptable, so we cant be bothered to stick around, to love through the hard times, and make good marriages.

Having a good marriage can be difficult, but having a valid marriage isn’t.

well said

 

[Joy2day]

As far as i know the pre-marriage course is 6mths at the most & is generalised & not specific to that couple. Even after a lengthy annulment-type process where the church declares that the marriage is valid; it would still give people information on the type of issues they will face based on their individual situations. Its so easy when you’re blindly in love & cant see anything but bliss ahead of you. Surely if the marriage is going to work, it could stand 2years of solid investigation beforehand? Even with a valid marriage, armed with knowledge some people might decide they didnt really want to sign up for that type of strife.

 

[EasterJoy]

That is exactly what the Church has been trying to do. It should be mandatory, not optional.

The Church cannot simply decide to make couples wait two years or to jump through a bunch of hoops. The faithful have the right to marry each other, and therefore there are limits on the requirements that the Church can put on Catholics who desire marriage.

It is also fair to ask if the preparation for marriage that is lacking does not take a lot longer than two years.

 

[AmyMCGS]

I think a two year wait would only cause young couples to seek marriage in other churches or in courthouses, rather than wait around and jump through extra hoops. We want to encourage more people to be married in the church, not discourage it.

Pre-cana can be very good and personal… I’ve heard. I can’t say that my husband and I got much out of it but then again, we’d been dating for six years by then. We figured if there were things that truly shocked us about each other by then, we’d better reconsider the marriage anyway.

 

[Sillara]

As far as i know the pre-marriage course is 6mths at the most & is generalised & not specific to that couple. Even after a lengthy annulment-type process where the church declares that the marriage is valid; it would still give people information on the type of issues they will face based on their individual situations. Its so easy when you’re blindly in love & cant see anything but bliss ahead of you. Surely if the marriage is going to work, it could stand 2years of solid investigation beforehand? Even with a valid marriage, armed with knowledge some people might decide they didnt really want to sign up for that type of strife.

And why should they have to wait if they are ready? TWO YEARS? It is not the Church’s responsibility to make sure that any given couple have a good marriage. That is the couple’s responsibility. And as Soren_Itenu mentioned above, contracting a VALID marriage is not difficult. It is actually far easier than many people would like to believe. The bar for validity is quite low. It is having a good marriage that is hard, and that is contingent upon the couple’s willingness to be selfless. No matter how long a marriage preparation course is, it cannot make someone become more selfless. Marriage, however, if one will let it, CAN make someone become more selfless. My marriage has taught me more virtue than any other experience in my life.

 

[mandajane]

In the Chicago Archdiocese, you are required to start discussions with your priest 6 months before the wedding, attend a pre-cana class, take a relationship evaluation so your priest can lead you in more private counseling, take an NFP class, and get all your church specific paperwork in order. By the time you walk down the aisle, church requirements and expectations have been HAMMERED into your head.