Ideas for Introducing Protestant Spouse to NFP

[Cari]

Artificial contraception, including barrier methods, is objectively a mortal sin as it violates natural law.

Yes, and the CCC 1860 bears this out, “…no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man.”

However, it goes on to say, “The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders.” I would certainly consider one’s religious leader instructing you that birth control is “responsible stewardship”, as the OP stated, would be an external pressure. Also, if you re-read the OP’s post, you see that her husband, who was “dead set against” her joining the Church, would constitute another external pressure.

As for your article, (thank you for providing, I will enjoy reading it in its entirety later tonight) the writings of a priest do not necessarily constitute Church teachings (thankfully). I would feel more comfortable with documentation from the Magisterium or the Catechism, not just the say-so of one unnamed priest. Do you have this article from a non-SSPX source? One that is in full communion with the Church?

That said, I understand where you’re coming from, I truly do. Even people who use NFP can develop a contraceptive mentality and misuse it. However, to come to this particular thread, posted by a woman who isn’t even in RCIA classes yet, with a husband who isn’t exactly jumping up and down over her conversion, and throw out such terse, authoritative language such as your first post:
"Well, you’re in mortal sin. And NFP isn’t just a birth control method that is OK for Catholics…it may only be used for VERY GRAVE reasons. " is not going to be helpful.

Secondly, it’s not clear either from the OP’s post, or from your provided article what the “poverty” level is. We have no idea what their financial situation is, and the “poverty” stipulation from the article isn’t defined. Do people tend to abuse the “poverty” reason? Yes. Can we assume this poster is based on her post? No.

Thank you for the article, I will read it as soon as time permits.
Cheers,
Cari

 

[Cor_Jesu]

Yes, and the CCC 1860 bears this out, “…no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man.”

However, it goes on to say, “The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders.” I would certainly consider one’s religious leader instructing you that birth control is “responsible stewardship”, as the OP stated, would be an external pressure. Also, if you re-read the OP’s post, you see that her husband, who was “dead set against” her joining the Church, would constitute another external pressure.

As for your article, (thank you for providing, I will enjoy reading it in its entirety later tonight) the writings of a priest do not necessarily constitute Church teachings (thankfully). I would feel more comfortable with documentation from the Magisterium or the Catechism, not just the say-so of one unnamed priest. Do you have this article from a non-SSPX source? One that is in full communion with the Church?

You know, the Catechism isn’t intended to be an encyclopedia of all that is Catholic. All catechisms are just summarizations of our basic doctrines to teach the faith. Magisterial teaching and Vatican documents need to be expounded upon, and that is what this article is. And it makes no difference where the source is from; even if it came directly from the SSPX (if it was written by an SSPX priest), it would still be reliable; the SSPX isn’t having rough relations with the Vatican because of its moral stances but because Lefebvre consecrated bishops without JP2’s approval.

 

[Cari]

You know, the Catechism isn’t intended to be an encyclopedia of all that is Catholic. All catechisms are just summarizations of our basic doctrines to teach the faith. Magisterial teaching and Vatican documents need to be expounded upon, and that is what this article is. And it makes no difference where the source is from; even if it came directly from the SSPX (if it was written by an SSPX priest), it would still be reliable; the SSPX isn’t having rough relations with the Vatican because of its moral stances but because Lefebvre consecrated bishops without JP2’s approval.

Well thank you very much for clearing all this up for me. Since you, as your signature claims, are totally obedient, I see absolutely no reason why I should ask for any other documentation than those you have seen fit to give me. Next time I read something that seems contrary to Church teachings, I shall remember your very wise words, that “it makes no difference where the source is from”. THAT will take a load off my mind, not having to bother with all that pesky “checking sources” stuff.

As for Magisterial teaching and Vatican documents needing to be expounded upon, I suppose it doesn’t matter WHO is doing the expounding, either.

And as for SSPX’s problems, I was under the impression that it also involved other matters, such as the way the Eucharist was celebrated, but, again, I must defer to you in this matter.

 

[maryjk]

Rachel, even protestant faiths did not allow artificial birth control as morally permissable until 1930.

Approach your husband from the feminine aspect, i.e. you don’t like what the ABC is doing to your body. Don’t fret over the condoms for now, you can tackle that at a later time once your husband is comfortable with the knowledge that you are no longer drugging yourself. It’s not your sin if he is using the condoms, just don’t suggest the use of them yourself. And if you know you’re in a fertile time (after you’re familiar with tracking all your fertility phases of course), I highly suggest you abstain all together, don’t have sex at all during that time, even with a condom. Explain to your husband that since you’re now a normally functioning woman, that you’d best abstain because condoms have a miserable failure rate despite what the marketing and advertisements say, and you’re asking for trouble if you use them during your fertile time (I can give you some information on the lack of effectiveness of condoms, send me a PM if you’re interested). After a while, you’ll already be living the NFP lifestyle, so the condoms will become silly, and there will be no sense in using them at all.

This works.

After having my husband read the possible side effects of the pill, I stopped them mid cycle. He didn’t want me taking them any more. We " would figure something else out."

I have health reasons to not have another child. These reasons will be life long. Charting makes me feel more comfortable. I will know right away if I am pregnant. And the weekly doctor appointments can start.

 

[Cor_Jesu]

And as for SSPX’s problems, I was under the impression that it also involved other matters, such as the way the Eucharist was celebrated, but, again, I must defer to you in this matter.

Oh really? Are their Masses too reverent or something? And the NFP cult does not represent Church teaching. Don’t be fooled!

 

[Thursday1]

Artificial contraception, including barrier methods, is objectively a mortal sin as it violates natural law. One does not need to know what the Catholic Church specifically teaches to know it is a mortal sin, just as one does not need to know what the Church says on homosexuality to know based on natural principles that it is gravely immoral. As St. Paul would say, “They are without excuse.”

The following article, written by a priest in 1948, will shed light on the morality of NFP and its uses. Although the article is specifically addressing the rhythm method, the underlying moral principles of the rhythm method and “Natural Family Planning” are the same.
sspx.org/against_the_sound_bites/rhythm_unhappy_compromise.htm
And I know someone is going to bring this up as an objection anyway, but yes, this article is from the SSPX website, but it was written in 1948, and the Church’s moral teachings have not changed since then.
Here are some exerpts:

SNIP

Hope this puts the issue to rest!

A pope’s (two of them in this case) document trumps a priest’s article any day.

Yours in Christ,
Thursday

 

[RachelB]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I really appreciate the encouragement - I feel a little strengthened. I will be checking out every one of the resources.

Just to clarify, I have been pill-free for five years. Although I did not know they were abortive until Jesus called me to become Catholic, I didn’t like them, and then we didn’t have insurance anyway so I couldn’t afford them. What I was looking for encouragement for was getting off barrier methods.

Also to clarify, since you all are speculating about my situation:

My husband and I support two kids on less than 20k a year. We make enough money to pay our bills, and we are richly blessed by our friends and family. Since I am temporarily providing half the family’s just adequate income (only while my husband is in school full time), taking 6-12 weeks off work if I got pregnant could put us under, and I am uncertain as to who is going to rent us an apartment which has three bedrooms while our income is so meager. It is not in our lease to not have two kids of different genders in one room, I believe it is Pennsylvania state law. So I have been told and I don’t know how to prove or disprove that. We have no savings, and our credit is poor. I believe we would be considered some level of poverty by law, but we are very blessed. So now you know my financial situation. Cor Jesu, how many kids do you have, and what kind of situations has the Lord given you grace and help with them? God bless you.

 

[MCGar]

Hi RachelB!!!

I’ve followed this thread and while I have nothing wise to add about NFP, I would like to suggest something that might help out your current situation.
It might help out if you considered getting an additional stay-at-home job. I think some stay-at-home moms on this forum might have suggestions. It sound like you are going to be inbetween a rock and hard place for a little bit and it would be nice to have just a little extra cushion of support.
Also, there has to be some sort of phone number you can call to find out about housing laws regarding your children.

 

[RachelB]

Well, I could sure use some encouragement over here. I feel so guilty for “restricting” my husband. He took it very well, didnt’t even ask me to explain when I said we couldn’t right now if he didn’t want to get pregnant. He just accepted it, then we snuggled for awhile. But I still feel guilty - I’m not sure I’ve ever rejected him before, for any reason, and the idea that I’m limiting “it” because of my… okay, now I know I am keeping him from mortal sin… three cheers for me… but I feel so bad about it. And there’s another week to go yet, at least. I was raised to believe that it is the responsibility of a Christian wife to keep her husband “satisfied” so he wouldn’t be tempted to stray. Maybe that’s part of why. But UGH. Please send me a smile!

 

[maryjk]

Please send me a smile!

:hug1:
How about a hug instead?
Okay a smile too. :bounce:

Remember, you are doing the right thing. It can be difficult. But it is worth it.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

Well, I could sure use some encouragement over here. I feel so guilty for “restricting” my husband. He took it very well, didnt’t even ask me to explain when I said we couldn’t right now if he didn’t want to get pregnant. He just accepted it, then we snuggled for awhile. But I still feel guilty - I’m not sure I’ve ever rejected him before, for any reason, and the idea that I’m limiting “it” because of my… okay, now I know I am keeping him from mortal sin… three cheers for me… but I feel so bad about it. And there’s another week to go yet, at least. I was raised to believe that it is the responsibility of a Christian wife to keep her husband “satisfied” so he wouldn’t be tempted to stray. Maybe that’s part of why. But UGH. Please send me a smile!

First off- lots of huggles being sent your way!!!

1. Don’t worry about it. If is willing to accept the fact that you are abstaining for a good reason, he will love you and accept it
2. It sounds goofy, but the sex you after after that 2 weeks will be AMAZING! I swear, the two or so weeks off gives sex a whole new definition. With pills, we are available 24/7 for every one of our whims (both male and female). NFP makes us examine our desires and decide whether or not this is the time to be giving into those desires. It also helps with that whole will-power thing.

 

[RachelB]

Thanks so much for the encouragement… this is such a big hurdle… I think I’m really going to be able to be a Catholic :extrahappy:

My hubby is such a gem. Say a prayer for him if you think of it.

 

[kage_ar]

I was raised to believe that it is the responsibility of a Christian wife to keep her husband “satisfied” so he wouldn’t be tempted to stray. Maybe that’s part of why. But UGH. Please send me a smile!

Actually, in Scripture, we are told that it is the husband’s duty to love his wife as Christ loves the Church! That includes laying down his life.

Pray for your husband, love him and let him see the joy on your face every day and let the Holy Sprit do the rest