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My mother passed away yesterday morning after a lengthy illness. She was 87 years old. She had been in hospice for over 2 years and Our Lord called her home yesterday, ending her suffering.
However, after speaking with my brother who lives in another state, I have learned that there will be NO funeral. Mom had expressed her wishes to be cremated, and the plan is to have her ashes interred in a family plot that has been in our family for well over a century, and the interment is planned for this coming AUGUST! Long time, I know… but as I am in another state, I have no way to be more ‘insistent’ that she be interred sooner. All I can do is politely continue to express my wishes in this matter. And as there are just us 3 kids, plus a few grown grandkids who are also scattered about the country-- gathering everyone together would be extremely difficult. My father passed away about 8 years ago, so of course he wouldn’t be there. She has no other living relatives and was an only child so no siblings, either. This is a very, very small number of survivors.
I have notified my parish, even though she was not a member there, and her name will be read during the Prayers of the Faithful this coming Sunday. We also have a Requiem service every year on or about November 2 for All Souls’ Day, where the names of the deceased are read and a candle is lit for each one. This is followed up with a Requiem concert presented by the Traditional Choir. I sing in that choir, and one idea was to sing a solo in her memory during the concert, a sacred piece such as her favorite ‘Ave Maria’ or some other appropriate selection such as the Fauré ‘Pie Jesu,’ or Mozart’s ‘Ave Verum Corpus’.
I would also perhaps like to have a Mass said for her/in her name, even if none of my other family members can attend.
Would these be appropriate for her, since there will be no funeral Mass and probably not even a priest for the interment (grumbling here… but it’s not my choice. I’m out-voted)?
And since I am in the choir and would probably be doing some of the singing myself-- would it still be appropriate to provide a stipend for the music? I do plan to present my pastor with an appropriate stipend for the Mass… or is that even necessary or appropriate, given that it would not be a funeral or memorial Mass, but simply a Mass in her name?
When Dad passed away, we did have a funeral Mass at his parish, a military honors service following the Mass, and he was buried in a military cemetery. It was a big deal. Mom… not so much, but I think she deserves more than just being cremated and then interred 6 months later! I’m basically doing this all alone as my brothers are not really ‘active’ Catholics at this time and as I am getting the feeling, they really don’t want to do a whole lot beyond honoring her cremation wishes (which I do know to be honorable and with in Catholic teaching)… however, Mom was a pretty devout Catholic.
What should I do?
However, after speaking with my brother who lives in another state, I have learned that there will be NO funeral. Mom had expressed her wishes to be cremated, and the plan is to have her ashes interred in a family plot that has been in our family for well over a century, and the interment is planned for this coming AUGUST! Long time, I know… but as I am in another state, I have no way to be more ‘insistent’ that she be interred sooner. All I can do is politely continue to express my wishes in this matter. And as there are just us 3 kids, plus a few grown grandkids who are also scattered about the country-- gathering everyone together would be extremely difficult. My father passed away about 8 years ago, so of course he wouldn’t be there. She has no other living relatives and was an only child so no siblings, either. This is a very, very small number of survivors.
I have notified my parish, even though she was not a member there, and her name will be read during the Prayers of the Faithful this coming Sunday. We also have a Requiem service every year on or about November 2 for All Souls’ Day, where the names of the deceased are read and a candle is lit for each one. This is followed up with a Requiem concert presented by the Traditional Choir. I sing in that choir, and one idea was to sing a solo in her memory during the concert, a sacred piece such as her favorite ‘Ave Maria’ or some other appropriate selection such as the Fauré ‘Pie Jesu,’ or Mozart’s ‘Ave Verum Corpus’.
I would also perhaps like to have a Mass said for her/in her name, even if none of my other family members can attend.
Would these be appropriate for her, since there will be no funeral Mass and probably not even a priest for the interment (grumbling here… but it’s not my choice. I’m out-voted)?
And since I am in the choir and would probably be doing some of the singing myself-- would it still be appropriate to provide a stipend for the music? I do plan to present my pastor with an appropriate stipend for the Mass… or is that even necessary or appropriate, given that it would not be a funeral or memorial Mass, but simply a Mass in her name?
When Dad passed away, we did have a funeral Mass at his parish, a military honors service following the Mass, and he was buried in a military cemetery. It was a big deal. Mom… not so much, but I think she deserves more than just being cremated and then interred 6 months later! I’m basically doing this all alone as my brothers are not really ‘active’ Catholics at this time and as I am getting the feeling, they really don’t want to do a whole lot beyond honoring her cremation wishes (which I do know to be honorable and with in Catholic teaching)… however, Mom was a pretty devout Catholic.
What should I do?
:heaven: