Ideas how girls can serve the church?

[Sarcelle]

Good idea on taking a poll of what the girls in your parish would like to do.

I suggest hiking, gardening (you could plant a rosary garden with really nice and fragrant rose bushes), baking or cooking club, crafts, needlework, etc. An astronomy club?

See what the target demographic would like to do and then go from there.

 

[phil19034]

Good idea on taking a poll of what the girls in your parish would like to do.

I suggest hiking, gardening (you could plant a rosary garden with really nice and fragrant rose bushes), baking or cooking club, crafts, needlework, etc. An astronomy club?

See what the target demographic would like to do and then go from there.

I would argue that focus of the group should be based in prayer first, with trips and events to do the other things.

There are a TON of club for backing, cooking, crafts, needlework, astronomy, etc that girls can join in the secular world.

We need clubs based on adoration and prayer. That doesn’t mean that prayer club can’t take a trip to the local planetarium or can’t plant roses in the rosary garden.

But their weekly focus should be based on prayer and religious growth.

My favorite idea is having a girls club rotate through having girls dresses up at Mass and sitting in the front pews praying the rosary before and after mass. They can effectively lead parishioners who want to arrive early or stay late in praying the rosary (or another devotion) after every Sunday mass. And the team would rotate, just like the Altar Servers do so they don’t have to “work” every Sunday.

Plus, while we are at it… the Altar Servers should be more of a youth group too.

 

[reggieM]

I would suggest starting one of the following for four girls:

***1) Archconfraternity of Blessed Imelda Lambertini *** (or a local society based on this) - A Society of prayer and Eucharistic Adoration for young girls and women who have received the sacrament of First Holy Communion. Blessed Imelda is the patron of First Communicants.

They get together for Adoration to pray for the parish and people’s intentions. At special Masses (Easter, Christmas, First Communion, Marian feasts, etc) they dress up in white with a blue sash etc.

Here are some pics

http://materecclesiae.org/gallery/5290_DSC05327B.JPG
catholicstarherald.org/candelmas-at-mater-ecclesiae-in-berlin/

Here’s a small book about Bl Imelda - tanbooks.com/index.php/saints/patron-saint-of-first-communicants-the-story-of-blessed-imelda-lambertini.html

2) Fiat - epriest.com/best_practices/view/48

Girls in grades 5 to 12 receive guidance in four areas of formation:

charity
spirituality
culture
vocation
The primary role of Fiat is to have girls spend time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament during Eucharistic Holy Hours at the parish. Girls take on the responsibility of scheduled times to adore Our Lord and receive from Fiat formation on how to pray (they learn meditation, contemplation, Lectio Divina, vocal prayer with special emphasis on the Rosary). During their peaceful time of adoration, they pray and intercede for those most in need, especially the elderly, the sick and the young people in their parish.

Besides the scheduled prayer times the girls meet twice a month as a group.

One meeting is a Bible study; the girls study the Gospel for the upcoming week or a particular theme in the Bible so that they may grow in their love for the Word of God and in their friendship with Jesus.

The other meeting is dedicated to a charitable work they perform, a talk by someone on how they can come to understand and live their faith more deeply (e.g., a formation talk on modesty guidelines given by a professional fashion consultant), or a fun and exciting cultural activity (e.g., field trips to art museums, theaters and musical productions, with discussion afterwards).

3) Little Flowers Girl Club - beholdpublications.com/home/about-our-clubs/little-flowers-girls-club/

4) Little Women Hospitality Club - beholdpublications.com/home/about-our-clubs/hospitality-club/

That photo is so nice. I checked the link - the EF community in New Jersey doing a very nice job as they have for years. And all the ideas here are really good!

 

[Sarcelle]

I would argue that focus of the group should be based in prayer first, with trips and events to do the other things.

There are a TON of club for backing, cooking, crafts, needlework, astronomy, etc that girls can join in the secular world.

We need clubs based on adoration and prayer. That doesn’t mean that prayer club can’t take a trip to the local planetarium or can’t plant roses in the rosary garden.

But their weekly focus should be based on prayer and religious growth.

My favorite idea is having a girls club rotate through having girls dresses up at Mass and sitting in the front pews praying the rosary before and after mass. They can effectively lead parishioners who want to arrive early or stay late in praying the rosary (or another devotion) after every Sunday mass. And the team would rotate, just like the Altar Servers do so they don’t have to “work” every Sunday.

Plus, while we are at it… the Altar Servers should be more of a youth group too.

How about a club based on service?

Like visiting the elderly or volunteering at soup kitchens or Habitat for Humanity.

Or maybe a prayer ministry?

 

[reggieM]

Furthermore, as the father of a very intelligent daughter who loves school, “girly things,” etc; I find it offensive that because my daughter likes to arrange flowers and do crafts, that means she will not be successful.

Good for you and for her. Yes, exactly.

The last generation or 2 of men have been extremely damaged, as men - esp young men - have lost their identity. Way too many men today no longer know what God intended men to be or the role they should have. Too many men don’t know what it means to be a father and to be responsible for their families.

It’s a serious crisis. Yes, “extremely damaged” is correct.

Furthermore - whether we like it not (and I agree that it’s immature), but young boys and even young men don’t like to do things (work or recreational) that females do.

Social re-engineering is not going to change that fact. And we can see the results of trying to force something. God made things a certain way. If we would respect that, life would be better for men and women together.

Boys and young men like to be seen as macho, and doing girl things is the opposite of macho. The answer isn’t to kill their macho tendency, but rather to change it to chivalry, which is not what’s happening today for a number of reasons - esp divorce.

Words of wisdom. Actually, good old common sense – something in short supply. I’ve lived with men all my life, went to an all-male high-school, have 4 brothers, played football and know and worked in coaching and leadership of men. It’s a world of its own. It has its own rules. Helping young boys grow to be true men - true gentlemen, is something that requires understanding of what a man is.

In closing - the good Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers once said “if I want my daughter to meet the man of her dreams, I better show her what he looks like.” We need more fathers like the good Deacon to show BOTH boys and girls what true masculinity looks like and we need more Theology of the Body programs for our kids at Church.

God Bless.

Good stuff and very important.

We’ve just started having men’s conferences around here (Dcn. Burke-Sivers talked at one) and the hunger for this sort of thing is big – sold out every year and moved to bigger locations.

 

[phil19034]

How about a club based on service?

Like visiting the elderly or volunteering at soup kitchens or Habitat for Humanity.

Or maybe a prayer ministry?

There’s nothing wrong with a service based club, but I would argue that service based clubs can be co-ed. There isn’t really a need to have a service based club to be single sex.

Girls (and boys) need single sex clubs where they can have small discussion groups.

My personal vision (which I acknowledge is very hard to do in some parishes) is change the Altar servers program into a mentoring program for boys and men to discern the priesthood and diaconate. An “Altar Guild” if you will. Add a lot more to the program, so it becomes 2-4 distinct discipleship groups for males: 1) for young boys 2) for teens 3) for single men 4) for married men

Then create a female “Prayer Guild” prayer group, which dresses up and takes turns leading the parish in prayer and/or adoration before and after mass. Like the altar servers, the team rotates though who dresses up & leads the prayer before/after each mass. And they too have discipleship groups: 1) for little girls 2) for tweens 3) for teens 4) for single women and 5) for married women. The reason the girls have one additional age group is because they can start after first communion, while most altar servers are usually over 10.

Again, nothing would stop these groups from doing service projects or having fun. But their primary missions would be to discern vocations.

The Altar Guild to discern a vocation to the priesthood and diaconate (for the married men); while the Prayer Guild (or Blessed Imelda Society) would focus on discerning vocations to the religious life, concentrated life, and concentrated virgins for women.

Both would also discern a vocation to the married life and learn about Theology of the Body, etc.

Such programs, in theory, could result in increased vocations to the priesthood and religious life; plus an increase in successful marriages.

Anyway – for me, if you want to create a church group for girls, that’s what it should be primarily focused on.

God Bless.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I would argue that focus of the group should be based in prayer first, with trips and events to do the other things.

Is this the focus of the boys group?

There are a TON of club for backing, cooking, crafts, needlework, astronomy, etc that girls can join in the secular world.

There may be in some places but there aren’t that many where I live. And even if there already were groups like this I think what some are looking for are groups where young people can be Catholic together, form bonds and friendships with other Catholics.

We need clubs based on adoration and prayer. That doesn’t mean that prayer club can’t take a trip to the local planetarium or can’t plant roses in the rosary garden.

Do we really need these clubs? A family might not be able to sustain a “club” for any of the above all by themselves, but a family could and should be where adoration and prayer is something the whole family participates in.

But their weekly focus should be based on prayer and religious growth.

Again, is that the focus of the boys’ group? Because the boys get to enjoy “canoeing, played paintball, had laser gun wars, video game competitions, etc.”

My favorite idea is having a girls club rotate through having girls dresses up at Mass and sitting in the front pews praying the rosary before and after mass. They can effectively lead parishioners who want to arrive early or stay late in praying the rosary (or another devotion) after every Sunday mass. And the team would rotate, just like the Altar Servers do so they don’t have to “work” every Sunday.

Plus, while we are at it… the Altar Servers should be more of a youth group too.

Why? The alter servers at the parishes I heave belonged to usually have a banquet annually and are a part of other youth ministries. Why add one more thing that already requires serious commitment? Maybe there is solid reason; I just don’t know how making being an Alter Server another group with additional activities is useful.

 

[phil19034]

Is this the focus of the boys group?

of course. the primary focus of the boys group should be prayer as well.

There may be in some places but there aren’t that many where I live. And even if there already were groups like this I think what some are looking for are groups where young people can be Catholic together, form bonds and friendships with other Catholics.

I’m not saying we can’t have social clubs for kids at Church. May parishes have CYO programs that include activities that are much more than just sports.

Do we really need these clubs? A family might not be able to sustain a “club” for any of the above all by themselves, but a family could and should be where adoration and prayer is something the whole family participates in.

Again, is that the focus of the boys’ group? Because the boys get to enjoy “canoeing, played paintball, had laser gun wars, video game competitions, etc.”

Why? The alter servers at the parishes I heave belonged to usually have a banquet annually and are a part of other youth ministries. Why add one more thing that already requires serious commitment? Maybe there is solid reason; I just don’t know how making being an Alter Server another group with additional activities is useful.

Again - I’m not saying we can’t have social clubs at our parishes. But many parishes only have social clubs or sports teams for kids and don’t have discipleship groups.

The point of the groups that I’m advocating is prayer and discipleship. Perhaps I should have said “discipleship should be the focus.”

My view of the Altar Guild is that it should be a discipleship group focused on vocations for males, not just altar servers. While a “Prayer Guild,” (“Adoration Guild” or Blessed Imelda Society) should be a discipleship group focused on vocations for females, not simply just a prayer group.

Basically, both groups would primary be vocational discipleship groups with a service to the parish component. The Altar Guild would serve at Mass while the “Prayer Guild” would serve by leading prayers before and after mass.

And as far as time is concerned… I don’t think it would require more time per say, because in theory you would have lots of members of each group so their Sunday obligations would be spread out. And their small group, discipleship meetings would be weekly, biweekly or monthly based on the parish (though I recommend weekly or biweekly).

The groups could also branch out from there to select CCD assistants, leadership for Karios programs, etc.
God Bless.

 

[ShrodingersCat]

what does this have to do with anything? I hardly believe that being an altar girl is the reason for the success these 4 girls had.

If they would have been in an adoration group, Little Flower Girls’ Club (which isn’t about flowers but rather the teaching of St. Thérèse of Lisieux), Little Women Hospitality Club, etc.; I’m sure they would have been just as successful.

Furthermore, as the father of a very intelligent daughter who loves school, “girly things,” etc; I find it offensive that because my daughter likes to arrange flowers and do crafts, that means she will not be successful.

We have had similar discussions before. Your daughter is successful because she obviously worked hard, is intelligent and disciplined. Being an altar girl or going to Jesuit (or Jesuit like) college is not the reason for her success. Her success is due to the fact that she is driven and has a successful mindset.

And regarding your comment about more women in law & med school, you should be viewing this as a major problem, not as a success for women. The last generation or 2 of men have been extremely damaged, as men - esp young men - have lost their identity. Way too many men today no longer know what God intended men to be or the role they should have. Too many men don’t know what it means to be a father and to be responsible for their families.

The fact that more women are in law & med school than men is scary because it means that boys are getting the message that they are not as good as girls. The split should be much closer to 50-50. But the fact that more women are graduating from college than men is scary because it means that too many boys are being lost. Furthermore - whether we like it not (and I agree that it’s immature), but young boys and even young men don’t like to do things (work or recreational) that females do.

Boys and young men like to be seen as macho, and doing girl things is the opposite of macho. The answer isn’t to kill their macho tendency, but rather to change it to chivalry, which is not what’s happening today for a number of reasons - esp divorce.

In closing - the good Deacon Harold Burke-Sivers once said “if I want my daughter to meet the man of her dreams, I better show her what he looks like.” We need more fathers like the good Deacon to show BOTH boys and girls what true masculinity looks like and we need more Theology of the Body programs for our kids at Church.

God Bless.

I think you are missing the point. There is nothing wrong with liking girly things. But there is nothing inherently masculine about altar serving. There IS something inherently girly about flower arranging. Some girls just aren’t into that sort of thing. I would argue that a minority are interested in flower arranging actually. Crafts, probably a majority (based on the kids I know).

Founding a girl’s club that focuses on a niche girly area like flower arranging will likely only appeal to a minority of girls.

I prefer the idea of ushers or readers, with all of the fun activities like paintballing too.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I think you are missing the point. There is nothing wrong with liking girly things. But there is nothing inherently masculine about altar serving. There IS something inherently girly about flower arranging. Some girls just aren’t into that sort of thing. I would argue that a minority are interested in flower arranging actually. Crafts, probably a majority (based on the kids I know).

Founding a girl’s club that focuses on a niche girly area like flower arranging will likely only appeal to a minority of girls.

I prefer the idea of ushers or readers, with all of the fun activities like paintballing too.

Wait, what? There is something 'inherently girly about flower arranging?"

Really? So all the male florists I have known are ‘girly’? All the Japanese men doing ikebana (traditionally a male art, fairly recently open now to women) are 'girly"?

It all comes down to whether one is considering anything, be it flower arranging or serving at the altar, or helping nurses in the hospital, or delivering pizzas, working in a dining hall, etc. etc. as more ‘suited’ to one particular sex. If ‘serving at the altar’ is neither inherently masculine nor feminine in your opinion, then you really cannot point at any other ‘job’ or ‘craft’ as inherently masculine or feminine. IOW, you can’t have it both ways.

 

[Sarcelle]

Wait, what? There is something 'inherently girly about flower arranging?"

Really? So all the male florists I have known are ‘girly’? All the Japanese men doing ikebana (traditionally a male art, fairly recently open now to women) are 'girly"?

It all comes down to whether one is considering anything, be it flower arranging or serving at the altar, or helping nurses in the hospital, or delivering pizzas, working in a dining hall, etc. etc. as more ‘suited’ to one particular sex. If ‘serving at the altar’ is neither inherently masculine nor feminine in your opinion, then you really cannot point at any other ‘job’ or ‘craft’ as inherently masculine or feminine. IOW, you can’t have it both ways.

Ikebana, if I remember right was mainly done by the samurai.

Nothing girly about it.

I guess how girly an activity is will be largely determined by culture.

 

[EasterJoy]

Have you asked the young women in your parish what they would like some help to do?

I would suggest an activity or activities that the females will want to do all the way through high school. I would expect that doing works of charity as a social group–for instance, a group that does some socializing but also works in the food pantry or makes sandwiches together for church outreach or sews clothing for underpriveleged girls in other countries or makes things to help make life better for foster children in our country–would be something young women would find more fulfilling, because there is enough work to do to do it as a social group activity.

They could also form a Junior Altar Society, which seems to be essentially what you’re getting at, but I would think that helping others in need will be more fulfilling and hold their hearts better. The care of altar linens and such tends to be much less of a social event and feels more peripheral to a young person. Young women who work in teams and form social groups centered on their faith to make life better for those they feel empathy for will be less vulnerable to the lures of those whose “only the good die young” types who try to make mischief and wrong-doing glamorous.

If they were to attend Mass as a group once a month, so much the better.

 

[DarkLight]

Have you asked the young women in your parish what they would like some help to do?

I would suggest an activity or activities that the females will want to do all the way through high school. I would expect that doing works of charity as a social group–for instance, a group that does some socializing but also works in the food pantry or makes sandwiches together for church outreach or sews clothing for underpriveleged girls in other countries or makes things to help make life better for foster children in our country–would be something young women would find more fulfilling, because there is enough work to do to do it as a social group activity.

They could also form a Junior Altar Society, which seems to be essentially what you’re getting at, but I would think that helping others in need will be more fulfilling and hold their hearts better. The care of altar linens and such tends to be much less of a social event and feels more peripheral to a young person. Young women who work in teams and form social groups centered on their faith to make life better for those they feel empathy for will be less vulnerable to the lures of those whose “only the good die young” types who try to make mischief and wrong-doing glamorous.

If they were to attend Mass as a group once a month, so much the better.

I’d second this. Just like boys, different girls have different interests. I was a very tomboyish girl, and having all the stuff for girls be focused on the traditionally feminine was not really my thing. (Although as an adult I learned I quite like sewing and crafting as long as no one is trying to make me use pink frills and the like.) It’s better generally to do things with a wide appeal.

 

[ShrodingersCat]

Wait, what? There is something 'inherently girly about flower arranging?"

Really? So all the male florists I have known are ‘girly’? All the Japanese men doing ikebana (traditionally a male art, fairly recently open now to women) are 'girly"?

It all comes down to whether one is considering anything, be it flower arranging or serving at the altar, or helping nurses in the hospital, or delivering pizzas, working in a dining hall, etc. etc. as more ‘suited’ to one particular sex. If ‘serving at the altar’ is neither inherently masculine nor feminine in your opinion, then you really cannot point at any other ‘job’ or ‘craft’ as inherently masculine or feminine. IOW, you can’t have it both ways.

As Sarcelle said, girly things are determined by culture. Also, pursuing a “girly” thing doesn’t make you “girly”. But in our culture, generally speaking, young girls who like the idea of flower arranging are probably a minority because it is a pursuit that is more likely to appeal to the type of girl that likes pretty dresses and dolls. Which I have no problem with, by the way. I just think that beyond a certain age (like, 8 or 9) there aren’t many of those girls. Something that would appeal to the majority of girls is something neutral like ushering or reading.

Actually painting wall hangings for the church might be another appealing activity; I never met a kid that didn’t love painting or other arts and crafts, at least until the teen years when it isn’t “cool” anymore