Ideas: what do young Catholics need right now? {dating and relationships}

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EasterJoy said:
When it comes to romance, a great many of us are not “in our right mind.” We easily start to think the rules of common sense do not apply to our own charmed life, and sometimes we don’t stop until it is far too late.

“I warned your Majesties, I warned you,” said Sallowpad the Raven. “Easily in but not easily out, as the lobster said in the lobster pot!”

Those who “won’t be taken in” are sometimes too wary to find a partner. Handing your life and your heart and your future over is a risky business!!
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True, of course.

But displaying anger or resentment towards the opposite sex and then counting on someone being out of their mind enough to be with you anyway seems like an unnecessary and unfavorable gamble.
 
EasterJoy said:
Was there anyone we said you could not ask to pray for you? No, we said that finding you a wife is not your pastor’s job. If you go to your pastor and say you need a wife and he decides to play matchmaker, well, more power to you. You have no room to expect it, but if you say the worst he can say is “do I look crazy?” then I have no quarrel with that. It is not for me to tell you what problems you can and cannot bring to your pastor. I’m only sticking up for his perogative to tell you that you’re on your own, if that is what he does.

If that nice sister had said, “oh, no, I always pray you’ll be a monk,” after all, what could you say to that?
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I’m not sure why you are thinking that Norseman’s request that priests and pastors be more active in helping people obtain their vocation to marriage is him the same as him it should be the pastor job to find people spouses. 🤷
 
XenaFan said:
I’m not sure why you are thinking that Norseman’s request that priests and pastors be more active in helping people obtain their vocation to marriage is him the same as him it should be the pastor job to find people spouses. 🤷
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Because it’s not a request. He’s engaged in a “work slowdown” to protest his priest’s lack of involvement in setting him and other single Catholics up. He’s repeated over and over that it’s the priest’s job to do so, in the interest of saving souls and “fattening envelopes” by creating more Catholics.

If that doesn’t reek of entitlement, I don’t know what does.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
I see what you are saying here, and I am in partial agreement… My beef was that its incorrect to put it on Norseman that he feels that he’s owed a wife after so much devotion to the Lord… As in, I don’t believe he ever said that or implied that in his posts, yet others have implied that he did…
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I am wondering the same thing.

Norseman said that priests should be more active in helping people find spouses and everyone jumped to the conclusion that he meant the priest needs to be match maker. :confused:
 
XenaFan said:
I am wondering the same thing.

Norseman said that priests should be more active in helping people find spouses and everyone jumped to the conclusion that he meant the priest needs to be match maker. :confused:
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Why would you expect that a celibate male would be especially gifted or knowledgeable at helping people find spouses?

Pretty much any married person in the parish would have more relevant experience.
 
Xantippe said:
Why would you expect that a celibate male would be especially gifted or knowledgeable at helping people find spouses?

Pretty much any married person in the parish would have more relevant experience.
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I completely disagree with this. Priests are spiritual fathers that can heal father wounds. Just because they are celibate does not mean they don’t know anything about the human condition. In fact, in all of the marriage prep, counseling, and annulment discussion, they probably have enormous wisdom on things like that.

I’m not saying its “their job”. Just disagreeing with your point about experience, and making celibacy the issue.
 
agapewolf said:
I completely disagree with this. Priests are spiritual fathers that can heal father wounds. Just because they are celibate does not mean they don’t know anything about the human condition. In fact, in all of the marriage prep, counseling, and annulment discussion, they probably have enormous wisdom on things like that.

I’m not saying its “their job”. Just disagreeing with your point about experience, and making celibacy the issue.
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Anybody who has successfully wooed and married has more experience with successful courtship than Father (unless Father is a widower or a married priest).

I do think priests often have a lot of expertise with dealing with interpersonal relationships, but mostly in dealing with the trainwrecks.
 
XenaFan said:
I am wondering the same thing.

Norseman said that priests should be more active in helping people find spouses and everyone jumped to the conclusion that he meant the priest needs to be match maker. :confused:
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Isn’t that the definition of the term matchmaker, helping people find spouses?
 
Xantippe said:
Anybody who has successfully wooed and married has more experience with successful courtship than Father (unless Father is a widower or a married priest).

I do think priests often have a lot of expertise with dealing with interpersonal relationships, but mostly in dealing with the trainwrecks.
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All the more reason that he would be good at it. He knows what won’t work.

What do you think a homily is? It is for the priest to woo his bride (us, the church) to the altar (the marriage bed).
 
Xantippe said:
:eek:
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Why are you shocked? This is theology of the body and the church’s understanding of what mass is. There is a marriage bed above the altar in many churches (St. Louis mo cathedral basilica is one)
 
agapewolf said:
Why are you shocked? This is theology of the body and the church’s understanding of what mass is. There is a marriage bed above the altar in many churches (St. Louis mo cathedral basilica is one)
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Well, I don’t think the metaphor translates into actual expertise with regard to matchmaking and courtship.

It’s like expecting your pastor to be especially knowledgeable about sheep farming.
 
Xantippe said:
Well, I don’t think the metaphor translates into actual expertise with regard to matchmaking and courtship.

It’s like expecting your pastor to be especially knowledgeable about sheep farming.
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Again, disagree. Priests can know the human condition very well. JPII displays this in theology of the body. He knows humanness, marriage, and in particular, women, better than most.

For a long time many married friends would share their ups and downs with me (single at the time) about their marriage and I gave them a fresh and objective perspective.
 
agapewolf said:
Again, disagree. Priests can know the human condition very well. JPII displays this in theology of the body. He knows humanness, marriage, and in particular, women, better than most.

For a long time many married friends would share their ups and downs with me (single at the time) about their marriage and I gave them a fresh and objective perspective.
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I think priests can genuinely have a lot to offer with regard to relationships (of all kinds–romantic, familial, platonic, etc).

However, specifically with regard to meeting people and early courtship, they’re going to have more insight with regard to “do nots” than “dos”. Again, pretty much any married person (including lots of people who screwed up royally) will have better ideas with regard to how one goes about finding and courting a prospective spouse.
 
Sarcelle said:
Isn’t that the definition of the term matchmaker, helping people find spouses?
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I guess where I’m from a matchmaker is an actually job done by a professional. Most of the suggestions here aren’t saying priests need to do that, just to more. A small step would be have more homilies directed to single peoples seeking spouses for example.
 
One shouldn’t automatically denigrate a priest’s ability to offer insights on unmarried as well as married relationships. after all, they do hear a lot in confessions and a lot more as they make their way around the parish. Not saying all priests are capable, just saying the number is very definitely greater than zero. I’ve known a few.
 
Zzyzx_Road said:
One shouldn’t automatically denigrate a priest’s ability to offer insights on unmarried as well as married relationships. after all, they do hear a lot in confessions and a lot more as they make their way around the parish. Not saying all priests are capable, just saying the number is very definitely greater than zero. I’ve known a few.
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True.

It was a priest who played the role of matchmaker for my parents. He introduced them and then guided them during their courtship and then officiated at their wedding.

I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.
 
Sarcelle said:
True.

It was a priest who played the role of matchmaker for my parents. He introduced them and then guided them during their courtship and then officiated at their wedding.

I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.
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But, at the same time, if a priest thinks he’s not up to that role, he’s in the best position to know.
 
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