If a person marries, then divorces because of abuse or infidelity, is re-marriage

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allowed?

Say one gets married (and I am familiar with (CCC 1650) ), and once that ring goes on, the other person is completely different. The person either cheats on you, is verbally abusive, is physically abusive, the person is cruel to you…can you divorce and remarry in the Catholic Church.

This would seem unfair if you could not
 
Well, it all depends on if the marriage was valid to begin with. If the behavior changed as soon as the person got married, which I know can happen, it would seem that there was deception involved, which may have prevented true consent from both partners. That could call into question the validity of the marriage. I know a couple who went through this same situation, and the woman is getting an anullment because the husband’s emotional immaturity made him unable to really contract a marriage. If the change was gradual, or if it was an incidence of unfaithfulness, the story might be different. From what I understand, it depends on what was going on at the time the marriage was contracted.
 
go Leafs go:
allowed?

Say one gets married (and I am familiar with (CCC 1650) ), and once that ring goes on, the other person is completely different. The person either cheats on you, is verbally abusive, is physically abusive, the person is cruel to you…can you divorce and remarry in the Catholic Church.

This would seem unfair if you could not
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You need to talk to a priest about the specific circumstances. Each case is individual; there are no “generalizations”.
 
divorce does not put you outside the Catholic Church, although it can be a mortal sin depending on the circumstances (or the circumstances leading to the divorce can involve sin) to be absolved in the confessional. The issue is remarriage after divorce. Abuse, adultery or other behavior after the wedding is not by itself evidence that the marriage was not valid, although it will be considered along with other facts the marriage tribunal finds in its investigation. It is certainly possible that the abuse or other problems arose from problems that existed before the wedding and rendered true consent impossible for one or both parties. If so, the marriage never existed and a decree of nullity can be issued, leaving the parties free to remarry. Every case is unique, speculation on a hypothetical case in a forum like this is useless. Bring the facts before the priest or deacon and get a referral to the marriage tribunal.
 
Go leafs go,

If the marriage is valid from the beginning, no divorce is allowed. BTW, the Catholic Church doesn’t allow divorce–that’s official teaching. It cannot change with time.

The Catholic CHurch do allow annulment, that is, if there was no valid marriage from the very beginning, then the couple was not really married in the first place, hence the annulment.

If a couple who is validly married in the eyes of the Catholic Church and wishes to separate, the Church may grant separation, but not divorce. They can either chose to stay single or be reunited again in the future. Or unless one of them dies in the process, they cannot remarry.

Pio
 
You CANNOT repent after wrongly divorcing a spouse to be readmitted to Communion. Bull Feathers. The priest who does this confession is in grave error and so is the fool who follows their advice. And the fool who give it. To divorce a spouse wrongly is to commit adultery and remain unrepentant until the marriage is healed.

Read Mathew where it says that to divorce a spouse is to FORCE them to commit ADULTERY. If you FORCE a person to commit adultery you are guilty of it yourself.

Heal the marriage you destroyed and THEN return to communion, after confession.

Your sin remains unforgiven until the breech you created is healed.

The ABANDONED spouse DOES NOT have any impediments to Communion.

A remarriage only makes worse a breech which the wrongful divorce created.
 
go Leafs go:
allowed?

Say one gets married (and I am familiar with (CCC 1650) ), and once that ring goes on, the other person is completely different. The person either cheats on you, is verbally abusive, is physically abusive, the person is cruel to you…can you divorce and remarry in the Catholic Church.

This would seem unfair if you could not
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Of course the Church allows civil divorce if it is necessary to protect yourself or your children. The Church looks at civil divorce as permenant separation, your still considered to be Married. Being divorced is not something that prevents you from remaining a fully active Catholic and receiving the Sacraments.

In order to attempt another Marriage the first must be investigated and determined to have been invalid due to some defect that was present at the time of the Marriage.
 
so let me get this straight…I get married, everything at the time of Marriage is great, thus it is a valid marriage. ! year later, my spouse becomes abusive, cannot handle being married, hits me, sleeps with other women, etc. This is all not my fault and was all due to a sudden change in the person, who was fine at the time of the wedding.

Are you saying that now I am stuck with this person, that because he/she went mental, that I can never find happiness in another person? That seems quite harsh and really unfair.
 
Bro Rich,

Your answer is dangerous and misleading, brother.
 
Dear Catholic Tom,

That is the bane of being a member of the TRUE Church of Christ. We take the narrow road, and we take it gladly. We take up our own cross, and we take it gladly.

You propose that it is terribly unfair. I ask, what is more unfair, several decades without sex (since companionship can certainly be obtained without sex), or an eternity in the fire that is never quenched?

God bless,

Greg
 
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formercatholic:
Bro Rich,

Your answer is dangerous and misleading, brother.
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And how so?
 
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GAssisi:
Dear Catholic Tom,

That is the bane of being a member of the TRUE Church of Christ. We take the narrow road, and we take it gladly. We take up our own cross, and we take it gladly.

You propose that it is terribly unfair. I ask, what is more unfair, several decades without sex (since companionship can certainly be obtained without sex), or an eternity in the fire that is never quenched?

God bless,

Greg
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Fair enough when put that way, but in reality, it doesn’t make sense. Sex is the fulfillment of a marriage. Marriage is complete upon having intercourse. Good luck getting a companion that will spend the rest of their life with you, and not be able to consumate the union, regardless of how much they love you.
 
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formercatholic:
Bro Rich,

Your answer is dangerous and misleading, brother.
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You are incorrect. Bro Rich is right on target, and presents the teaching of the Church. Considering your ‘user name’, I’m not surprised that your opinion is off the mark.

Kotton 👍
 
Former Catholic,
You CANNOT repent after wrongly divorcing a spouse to be readmitted to Communion. Bull Feathers. The priest who does this confession is in grave error and so is the fool who follows their advice. And the fool who give it. To divorce a spouse wrongly is to commit adultery and remain unrepentant until the marriage is healed.
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Where did you get the idea that the priest will forgive anyone who divorces a spouse, when in the first place divorce is not and is never allowed in the Catholic Church? There is no such thing as “to divorce a spouse wrongly…” for again, divorce is NOT ALLOWED in the Catholic Church whether, as you say, it is wrong or not.
The ABANDONED spouse DOES NOT have any impediments to Communion.
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That correct if the spouse chose to remain single, then he or she can be admitted to communion. If the “abandoned” spouse choses to remarry, even if he or she was the “victim”, he or she commits adultery.

Pio
 
so let me get this straight…I get married, everything at the time of Marriage is great, thus it is a valid marriage. ! year later, my spouse becomes abusive, cannot handle being married, hits me, sleeps with other women, etc. This is all not my fault and was all due to a sudden change in the person, who was fine at the time of the wedding.

Are you saying that now I am stuck with this person, that because he/she went mental, that I can never find happiness in another person? That seems quite harsh and really unfair.
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Catholic Tom,

A valid marriage is having both the spouses met the requirements in entering into the Sacrament of Matrimony which is established by Christ. It is not a human being who instituted it, but God. Therefore, the Church cannot in any way change anything to suit man’s desires.

The Catechism says:
(2364)The married couple forms "the intimate partnership of life and love established by the Creator and governed by his laws; it is rooted in the conjugal covenant, that is, in their irrevocable personal consent."147 Both give themselves definitively and totally to one another. They are no longer two; from now on they form one flesh. The covenant they freely contracted imposes on the spouses the obligation to preserve it as unique and indissoluble.148 “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”

You cannot add injury to the insult by remarrying just because you were the “victim.” Or else you too will suffer the consequence of committing adultery.

Pio
 
“When a couple marries “in Christ,” they pledge before God that, for richer, for poorer, in good times and in bad, they will be true to one another until death. Those who speak these vows must know that their salvation depends upon the faithful living out of those words.”
– Most Rev. Michael Sheridan
 
wow, I get the teaching, even if I disagree. Actually, I do agree, but I can’t understand (and maybe it’s just me), how a victim of this type of marriage will never be able to find that happiness in another person (including consumating the marriage). Reason tells me, that extreme circumstances should be considered. Am I alone in feeling like this?

That said, I respect the Church Teaching and abide by it.
 
Dear Catholic Tom,

A lot do disagree, and they leave the Church for either Protestantism, Orthodoxy, or atheism. It truly is a narrow road.

God bless,

Greg
 
Catholic Tom:
… This is all not my fault and was all due to a sudden change in the person, who was fine at the time of the wedding.

Are you saying that now I am stuck with this person, that because he/she went mental, that I can never find happiness in another person? That seems quite harsh and really unfair.
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Hi Catholic Tom,

I address your words “fine at the time of the wedding.” That word “fine” being applied to someone is what will be addressed by the Marriage Tribunal.

Personally, I find myself now being a witness before the Tribunal that a marriage was in fact not valid. Lots of people thought this woman was “fine” too. I believed she was not, yet I did not speak up in time. I did not want to rock the boat and spoil the fun. Now this same man is seeking decree of nullity because he is wanting to enter a valid marriage.

I told him I have learned my lesson and will have no qualms about rocking the boat if I believed there was a chance for another invalid marriage. You know what he said? “Thank you.”
 
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