If a priest asks me to say "x #" of Hail Marys or Rosaries, or Mary devotions, do I have to?

[mesl4]

If I don’t feel comfortable with the Mary devotion to the extent that the RC models it, can I ask for a different form of penance or discipline than to say those types of prayers/meditations. I still only feel comfortable giving that devotion to God.

 

[ConallCernach]

If I don’t feel comfortable with the Mary devotion to the extent that the RC models it, can I ask for a different form of penance or discipline than to say those types of prayers/meditations. I still only feel comfortable giving that devotion to God.

The question would come as to why you were uncomfortable with the Mother of God. If you have time for a very brief read, try Scott Hahn’s Hail, Holy Queen. Perhaps it will help you more than asking for a different penance.

Pax

EDIT

After reviewing your profile, it seems that you’ve attended Reconciliation while not being within full communion with the Catholic Church, penance wouldn’t be the primary issue.

 

[mesl4]

The question would come as to why you were uncomfortable with the Mother of God.

 

[Spirithound]

If I don’t feel comfortable with the Mary devotion to the extent that the RC models it, can I ask for a different form of penance or discipline than to say those types of prayers/meditations. I still only feel comfortable giving that devotion to God.

Yes, you may ask for another penance. No Catholic is required to have a devotion to Mary.

 

[NotWorthy]

If you have trouble saying the Hail Mary (and why that is so would make a wonderful new thread), then by all means you shouldn’t say it. To me, praying something over and over without believing simply because you have to would fall dangerously close to “vain, repetitious prayer”.

I would ask the priest if he could substitute the “Hail Mary” with something else.

 

[e61iuser]

Personally I’d say yes, you’d have to.

Taking Penance means that you’re heartfully sorry for the sins you’ve committed and are asking for forgiveness and are willing to take what God has deemed just for you to do to expiate it.

If the priest through the authority bestowed upon him by Christ prescribes X number of Hail Marys, then I’d say that is what has to be done. Haggling for a lighter penance would feel tantamount to spitting in the face of His mercy.

 

[m134e5]

If I don’t feel comfortable with the Mary devotion to the extent that the RC models it, can I ask for a different form of penance or discipline than to say those types of prayers/meditations. I still only feel comfortable giving that devotion to God.

I think you should consider it part of your penance to submit to the authority of the Church- and trust that they’re not going to lead you astray even if you’re personally afraid of it. If I were you, I’d do the penance you were given out of obedience, and pray for the ability to trust, and for clarity on Catholic Marian devotion.

Get a book about Marian devotion- more than one if you like- and read all you can about it. It’s really quite interesting, even if what you read isn’t quite your thing. You will be directed to biblical sources, and writings of the early church fathers (who, if they didn’t know Mary personally, likely knew people who knew her) that defend Catholic teaching on Mary.

Marian devotion is a very fulfilling part of our Catholic faith. Personally, I think my spirituality would be pretty empty without some form of Marian devotion. Please pray for the gifts of understanding and trust in God’s Church.

 

[williamric]

If I don’t feel comfortable with the Mary devotion to the extent that the RC models it, can I ask for a different form of penance or discipline than to say those types of prayers/meditations. I still only feel comfortable giving that devotion to God.

I someone who feels the same, I would just talk to the priest about it…

Personally, whilst I might have my own opnion, I subject all my knowledge etc to the authoirty of Scripture and Tradition… Therefore I would probably do the penance, even though Marian devotion is not part of my normal prayer life

 

[Cat]

It’s a good question.

I’m a convert to Catholicism from evangelical Protestantism, and so is my husband and daughter.

We don’t have problems with Marian devotion. But we know plenty of evangelical Protestants for whom Mary is a huge stumbling block. I understand where you are coming from on this. There are many Protestants who would walk away totally from the Catholic Church because of Marian doctrines that they refuse to accept. You have chosen to walk into the Church, in spite of your misgivings.

I think many priests would understand that even if you are drawn to the Catholic Church and accept that it is the True Church of Jesus Christ, it is still extremely difficult to change the mindset of many years of Protestant thinking and teaching and accept Marian prayers.

Catholics who are reading this, try to put yourself in the place of the poster. Let’s say that you were challenged to change a major doctrine of the Catholic Church–it would be difficult, wouldn’t it? There are people on this CAF who can’t even accept a Mass in English or sing a hymn in a Mass accompanied by a guitar, let alone a change in a major doctrine. It is really hard for humans to give up teachings that they have accepted as true and good all of their lives.

Hopefully as time goes by, you will find it easier, but as a new Catholic, you will struggle. I honestly think priests will understand this struggle, and be willing to work with you in regards to penance as long as your mind and heart are OPEN to becoming docile to the teachings of the Catholic Church.

BTW, my struggle with Catholicism is with the consumption of alcohol. I simply can’t accept it as harmless. Intellectually I accept that drinking alcohol in extreme moderation is not a sin, but in my heart, I still see it as grave sin to even have a beer or a glass of wine. I grew up in a teetotalling home and lived for over 40 years among Christians who never, ever drank alcohol, and I was incredibly happy with this lifestyle and these people as friends. So even though I accept the teaching of the Catholic Church with my MIND that alcohol is not a sin, I just can’t “feel” it is OK in my heart. So I stay away from Catholic functions where there is drinking, and I don’t socialize a lot with Catholics who drink alcohol. I wish that there were more Catholic teetotallers, and I wish that Catholics wouldn’t joke around about drinking. It makes me feel very uncomfortable to see something formerly evil now considered “good for the body and soul.” Yechh.

 

[PaulAndrew83]

Yes, you may ask for another penance. No Catholic is required to have a devotion to Mary.

Catholics ARE required to have a devotion to Mary. It is called Hyperdulia.

Paul

 

[Benedict108]

If you are uncomfortable with saying the Hail Mary prayer, perhaps you should consider sitting down with your confessor and have a face to face discussion about your concerns. The priest may have an insight to help quell your uneasiness.

As you take your journey in RCIA, you should take into consideration that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is humbling oneself to not only confessing their sins, but also accepting the penance bestowed upon them by the priest.

I believe if you can establish a regular relationship with a priest as a spiritual advisor / confessor that you can over come this issue. It is no doubt a hard transition for you coming from a Protestant background, but regular guidance and prayer should help you to surpass this obstacle.

Pax tecum,

-Louis-

 

[Spirithound]

Personally I’d say yes, you’d have to.

Taking Penance means that you’re heartfully sorry for the sins you’ve committed and are asking for forgiveness and are willing to take what God has deemed just for you to do to expiate it.

If the priest through the authority bestowed upon him by Christ prescribes X number of Hail Marys, then I’d say that is what has to be done. Haggling for a lighter penance would feel tantamount to spitting in the face of His mercy.

But see, it might not be a lighter penance. The Rosary has 67 prayers, equivalent penance could be 67 Our Fathers, or reading the Gospel of Luke for half an hour, or an hour, or maybe to say a Chaplet of Divine Mercy every day this week.

EDIT: BTW, I’ve only ever been assigned a full Rosary twice (and by the same priest)

 

[06convert]

I’m not uncomfortable w/the mother of God/Jesus. I"m uncomfortbale w/giving her the same praise and prayer requests as I’d give God. She may be Jesus’ mother, but she is still God’s daughter just like we are. She is still a creature. She still is not as powerful as God and if I had to choose who to spend eternity with, it’d be God. No offense to Mary.

I did read this. It helped but I still don’t feel comfortable giving here the type of comments / prayer/ praise I’ve only given God.
EDIT

Woh woh woh, back up. We don’t give her the same praise as God. We ask her to pray for us. We don’t pray to her like we pray to God. People say they “pray to Mary”, but really they are just asking for her help. There is no way she is God nor should she be treated like God. If anyone is holding Mary at the same level of God, they are very confused about Mary’s place. She is on the same level of the saints, someone that can intercede.

No, I haven’t. I’m just thinking about the future. It’s something that worries me about joining the church. No one will answer the question about how the priest would answer. Would it be acceptable?

It’s unacceptable to question a Priest’s authority in this situation. He is speaking on behalf of God in this sacarment. If you are going to be Catholic you have to understand and believe what the teachings of the Church are, including the devotion to Mary, you don’t get to pick and choose what you believe. It’s just important to fully understand Mary and her place.

**From Pillar of Fire Pillar of Truth: **

God gave Mary a special role (CCC 490–511, 963– 975). He saved her from all sin (Luke 1:28, 47), made her uniquely blessed among all women (Luke 1:42), and made her a model for all Christians (Luke 1:48). At the end of her life he took her, body and soul, into heaven—an image of our own resurrection at the end of the world (Rev. 12:1–2).

 

[NotWorthy]

So, someone should pray a prayer that they don’t feel in their heart simply out of obedience?

What’s wrong with at least asking to say a different (though no less stringent) set of prayers? If the priests insists, then so be it. But if the priest understands your concerns, he may be willing to adjust your penance. You’re still subjecting yourself to his authority.

I simply don’t like saying a prayer that is not in my heart, unless I’m saying the prayer in hopes that God places the understanding of the prayer into my heart.

 

[paul_c]

It’s a good question.

I’m a convert to Catholicism from evangelical Protestantism, and so is my husband and daughter.

We don’t have problems with Marian devotion. But we know plenty of evangelical Protestants for whom Mary is a huge stumbling block. I understand where you are coming from on this. There are many Protestants who would walk away totally from the Catholic Church because of Marian doctrines that they refuse to accept. You have chosen to walk into the Church, in spite of your misgivings.

I think many priests would understand that even if you are drawn to the Catholic Church and accept that it is the True Church of Jesus Christ, it is still extremely difficult to change the mindset of many years of Protestant thinking and teaching and accept Marian prayers.

Catholics who are reading this, try to put yourself in the place of the poster. Let’s say that you were challenged to change a major doctrine of the Catholic Church–it would be difficult, wouldn’t it? There are people on this CAF who can’t even accept a Mass in English or sing a hymn in a Mass accompanied by a guitar, let alone a change in a major doctrine. It is really hard for humans to give up teachings that they have accepted as true and good all of their lives.

Hopefully as time goes by, you will find it easier, but as a new Catholic, you will struggle. I honestly think priests will understand this struggle, and be willing to work with you in regards to penance as long as your mind and heart are OPEN to becoming docile to the teachings of the Catholic Church.

BTW, my struggle with Catholicism is with the consumption of alcohol. I simply can’t accept it as harmless. Intellectually I accept that drinking alcohol in extreme moderation is not a sin, but in my heart, I still see it as grave sin to even have a beer or a glass of wine. I grew up in a teetotalling home and lived for over 40 years among Christians who never, ever drank alcohol, and I was incredibly happy with this lifestyle and these people as friends. So even though I accept the teaching of the Catholic Church with my MIND that alcohol is not a sin, I just can’t “feel” it is OK in my heart. So I stay away from Catholic functions where there is drinking, and I don’t socialize a lot with Catholics who drink alcohol. I wish that there were more Catholic teetotallers, and I wish that Catholics wouldn’t joke around about drinking. It makes me feel very uncomfortable to see something formerly evil now considered “good for the body and soul.” Yechh.

There are plenty of Catholic Teetotallers, myself included (except the sacrificial wine I take at the altar). There is NOTHING that compells you to drink if you are a Catholic. Even the Chalice is optional.

 

[cthulhubryan]

If I don’t feel comfortable with the Mary devotion to the extent that the RC models it, can I ask for a different form of penance or discipline than to say those types of prayers/meditations. I still only feel comfortable giving that devotion to God.

As you can see in my sig, I am converting to Catholicism. I had to think and read and pray long and hard about Mary. But for me it came down to this:

Christ fulfilled the law perfectly.

God said: Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Christ said: “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.(John 19:26-27)

We are to imitate Christ

The bishops are the heirs to the apostles

Therefore we take Mary into our homes and she takes us into her heart.

It is awesome and awe inspiring.

 

[e61iuser]

But see, it might not be a lighter penance. The Rosary has 67 prayers, equivalent penance could be 67 Our Fathers, or reading the Gospel of Luke for half an hour, or an hour, or maybe to say a Chaplet of Divine Mercy every day this week.

EDIT: BTW, I’ve only ever been assigned a full Rosary twice (and by the same priest)

I know. That’s why I’m saying not to haggle for a lighter penance and say the Marian prayers anyway in all humility.

In a way that might be God actually knowing how you’re somewhat uncomfortable with the saying of Marian prayers and has accepted it as a way for you to cleanse yourself of sins. Cleansing isn’t always a comfortable experience.

 

[paul_c]

If I don’t feel comfortable with the Mary devotion to the extent that the RC models it, can I ask for a different form of penance or discipline than to say those types of prayers/meditations. I still only feel comfortable giving that devotion to God.

There are three issues as I see it that hopefully you can reconcile as you go through the RCIA program.

1. You misunderstand the Church’s relation to Mary. We are devoted to her as our Mother in the faith, but we do NOT worship her, since she is not divine. In the Hail Mary, we praise her in the words of the Gabriel and Elizabeth, right out of scripture, so hopefully you won’t have a problem repeating scripture:

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus"

The second stanza is asking for her prayers of intercession, not Praying to her:

Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for Us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, AMEN

. In the Catholic way of thinking, we help each other out on our path to heaven. This is the communion of the Saints. As the prime saint, it is only natural for us to ask her help on our way to salvation.

1. You need to recognize that the Catholic church presents all truth to us as revealed to the Apostles through the Trinity. It is not for us to pick and choose which of those truths to accept or discard. To do so is tantamount to believing that we know better than the deposit of Faith that has been placed in the church. To think that is more pride than wisdom and is one of the vices we must combat in our quest for sanctification
2. Usually, but not always, the priest tries to give you a penance that applies to your sins. For instance, If you sin against Chastity, he will more than likely give you a penance that will make you think of Mary, an icon of human purity. So there may be a reason why he asked you to do that particular penance.

 

[mesl4]

Let me reiterate that I have not yet gone to confession or been asked to do any sort of penance yet.

I wrestle with whether or not to join the RC based on fear that it might not be from God. It either is what it says it is, or it is an anti-christ set up to lead others astray and toward idolatry, pride in self-discipline, and away from the grace of Christ. I have to weigh every RC doctrine to prove to myself that it is of God. If there is too much Mary devotion, it could be enough to prove the RC is of the devil because it drives people closer to a creature instead of the Creator. Satan would love that, even if it were done in the name of Christ. I worry that if I make the mistake of believing the RC is of God, and it is really not, than I will be committing grave sin after grave sin by doing penance, by adoring Mary in the way RCs do, etc. The Memorare is a prayer I really cannot say. It seems lso blasphemous or idolatrous or whatever the word is. Why would I go to her protection when I can go to the Father’s? I don’t have a problem with 67 or whatever # of “Hail Marys” as long as I can do 100 OUr Fathers or Glory be or whatver towards my Lord for longer than I do toward any creature. It seems sinful to me to pray longer to a creature than to my God.
When you justify it saying that we are simply asking for intercession, first of all, that is not all that is done. Many Marian prayers are full of praise that I’ve only done to God. Also, if I spent more time asking friends to pray for me, than I did simply asking God myself I’d think there was something wrong w/that. We must place our relationship w/our Father ahead of all our other relationships and feel fully comfortable going to him before anyone else. Otherwise, Satan wins by keeping us away from our Papa.

 

[NotWorthy]

Let me reiterate that I have not yet gone to confession or been asked to do any sort of penance yet.

I wrestle with whether or not to join the RC based on fear that it might not be from God. It either is what it says it is, or it is an anti-christ set up to lead others astray and toward idolatry, pride in self-discipline, and away from the grace of Christ. I have to weigh every RC doctrine to prove to myself that it is of God. If there is too much Mary devotion, it could be enough to prove the RC is of the devil because it drives people closer to a creature instead of the Creator. Satan would love that, even if it were done in the name of Christ. I worry that if I make the mistake of believing the RC is of God, and it is really not, than I will be committing grave sin after grave sin by doing penance, by adoring Mary in the way RCs do, etc. The Memorare is a prayer I really cannot say. It seems lso blasphemous or idolatrous or whatever the word is. Why would I go to her protection when I can go to the Father’s? I don’t have a problem with 67 or whatever # of “Hail Marys” as long as I can do 100 OUr Fathers or Glory be or whatver towards my Lord for longer than I do toward any creature. It seems sinful to me to pray longer to a creature than to my God.
When you justify it saying that we are simply asking for intercession, first of all, that is not all that is done. Many Marian prayers are full of praise that I’ve only done to God. Also, if I spent more time asking friends to pray for me, than I did simply asking God myself I’d think there was something wrong w/that. We must place our relationship w/our Father ahead of all our other relationships and feel fully comfortable going to him before anyone else. Otherwise, Satan wins by keeping us away from our Papa.

I understand your concerns (even though some of my brothers may not ).

In my journey deeper into my faith I began to say the Rosary daily, first for Lent, then during the rest of the year (why should I only reserve something holy and prayerful just during Lent, eh?). Then I was drawn to start attending daily Mass.

It was then that I noticed that I was not the only one who:
a) began with the daily Rosary.
b) continued with the daily Mass.

As a matter of fact, it was quite common among my “frequent flyer” Catholic brethren.

So, although this is in no way scientific, one can conclude that a daily devotion to Mary very often draws one to a desire to attend Mass daily. With this in mind, I did a Poll on this site and found that, among those who do both daily, 80% of them began with the Rosary and evolved into the Daily Mass.

If this is correct, then it would be hard to call Marian Devotion a tool of the Devil.

Another thought. I attended a Rosary for a deceased friend last night and something occurred to me (and this is not the first time I’ve realized this). Those in attendance that didn’t have a clue how to say the Rosary our overwhelmingly those who don’t attend Mass very frequently. Of the people that I regularly see in Mass (Sunday Mass, not necessarily daily), they were very familiar with the Rosary.

I seriously, SERIOUSLY doubt that the Rosary is a tool of the devil. Correct that - I KNOW that the Rosary is anything BUT a tool of the Devil.