If an only child discerns

[Monica4316]

Thank you Father. You are right of course, one may feel a desire to be a religious and not be accepted for one reason or another and thus know that that way of life was not God’s intent.

I just wanted to address her concern over whether she was “called” or not. I used to worry a lot about being “called”, I was terrified that God expected me to become a nun whether I wanted to or not. I realise, now that I am married, that my heart’s desire was always directed towards marriage. I was just trying to point out that a calling “initiates” in a desire or maybe an interest or curiosity, for a particular way of life and then begins the discernment process, but I suppose I didn’t make that clear.

I have heard this too - that a calling is confirmed by the Church as Father described, and i also heard that it is often accompanied by an interior disposition towards that life. I guess it could be both? Some Saints like St Frances of Rome did have a desire for something different at first…maybe there are exceptions in the subjective side of it.

At the same time, basically every vocation story i’ve ever heard of religious life, had something about a desire for it or a strong interior sense of a call, or a great peace or joy when looking into the life. If I look at my heart I have had a desire for consecrated life for around 7 or 8 years now… I’ll see what happens and where God calls me. I’m looking at consecrated life in the world too.

 

[bitterhope]

Thank you for sharing the story! that is very encouraging I’m really glad everything turned out ok for her and her mom. If possible, would it be possible to share the general type of the order she entered? I don’t mean the actual community or name, but for example - is it a community that cares for the elderly?

I’m glad that things can be worked out in this way. It might be more difficult for contemplative orders but I heard of arrangements being made even there.

My concern is if a parent simply refuses the help… I’m not sure what they do then… I guess it’s very important to pray now that if I’m called to religious life, God would help my mom as well.

I thought that she was Sisters of Charity (SCN), but my mom told me she thinks she is Little Sisters of the Poor. Now I’m not sure. But yes, they do work with the elderly but also other things as well.

 

[Rosebud77]

My closest in age cousin is an only child. She was raised by her mom alone after her parents’ violent marriage split up. I am not sure if they ever officially divorced or not, but she had very little to no contact with her father or half siblings. Her parents actually seperated before she was born. When my cousin mentioned a religious vocation, her mother was horrified. Who would care for her? How was she going to survive with very little contact with her only child? My cousin discussed all this and more with a spiritual director and had many meetings that included her mom with the vocations director. They assured them both that provisions would be made for the future care of my aunt (the mom). My aunt has had several health problems during the 20+ years my cousin has been living her vocation. Each time she was brought into the nursing home run by the sisters, and now she is there permanently. She is happy and well cared for by the sisters. My cousin has mostly been overseas in France and Rome but has as much time home visiting as I have been able to have, especially over the last several years. Now that my aunt is very frail, my cousin has been able to be there even more. Things can be worked out. I’m not sure if all orders are able to make similar provisions, but surely things can work out for others as smoothly as they have for my cousin. Communication is the key to finding answers.

A lovely post; thank you

I was reminded of a lady who waited some years before entering the Poor Clares. Her mother was ill and not likely to recover so they let her stay home and live the life as best she could there . It actually helped her but that was a very different case.

My own mother reacted terribly when I got a teaching promotion that meant I would need to live away from home. All but threatened suicide. I did nto handle it well as the guilt made sure I returned home each weekend. Had I made a fuller break then rather than much later it would have been better for both of us. She said that she would never have any friends, never go out again, never go on holiday again …

After I had finally left? Sh started night classes, made friends, went on holiday etc etc

We do nto knwo what resources people will find when they need to.

 

[Rosebud77]

I do have a spiritual director. ** I’m hoping to make a retreat in a monastery, unfortunately my mom had a really difficult time with that when I brought it up**

Think you may have to bite the bullet and go. See what happens?