If Confessing Something Serious

[Lord_Have_Mercy]

These questions are probably best asked of a priest but the closest parish has one priest for over 5000 people and I haven’t been successful at reaching him.
I sincerely want to make a good confession this Lent but it’s been a very, very long time and when I was younger I committed some serious sins, serious even by society’s standards. I’m worried if I confess them the priest will withhold absolution if I don’t turn myself in and I’ve stayed away from church for years because of this. I sincerely want to go, but I don’t want to tear apart my family. (I have kids.) Can/will a priest do this?
Also if one is excommunicated laetae sentiatiae, does absolution reverse this?

 

[Diaconia]

Just go to Confession.
The priest will help you make your confession and can lift penalties (which may not even exist).

Don’t wait, go to the Sacrament of Penance as soon as you can.

The very moment we turn back to God, He runs out to meet us like the parable of the Prodigal Son,
Deacon Christopher

 

[ineedofmercy]

Maybe you can find another Catholic Church if possible?
And maybe another priest will be more available and merciful

God be with you I can imagine how tough that is

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Go to Confession. Although the priest is bound by the seal of confession, I would recommend picking a priest who is outside your home parish and going behind the screen, for your own peace of mind. Cathedrals in cities are good places to go for an anonymous confession.

See what happens. It might not be as serious as you think.

 

[ConstantlyConverting]

Jesus said to his disciples: "What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.

Matthew 18:12-13

Trust the Lord and his sacrament, he gave it to us specifically for the worst cases
The relief you will have afterward will make you feel like a new person!

 

[InThePew]

I sincerely want to make a good confession this Lent but it’s been a very, very long time and when I was younger I committed some serious sins, serious even by society’s standards. I’m worried if I confess them the priest will withhold absolution if I don’t turn myself in and I’ve stayed away from church for years because of this. I sincerely want to go, but I don’t want to tear apart my family. (I have kids.) Can/will a priest do this?

Tldr go to confession - be healed, be freed, be at peace!

It’s obviously difficult to answer these questions without knowing (or wanting to know) the substance of what you’d be confessing to. Turning yourself in wouldn’t normally be a condition of absolution. In some (more serious) cases a willingness to confess to a serious crime (for example) might be necessary for a priest to be satisfied that a person was remorseful. For acts which aren’t serious crimes however - something like abortion or adultery for example I’d expect that there’d be more of a discussion around whether or not it should be disclosed to the person’s spouse. Things like how long ago it happened and the likely effect of disclosure would of course be a part of the discussion.

Also if one is excommunicated laetae sentiatiae, does absolution reverse this?

You can’t get a penalty without having committed a grave sin so when a grave sin is forgiven, and thus taken away, any penalties associated with a grave sin are also taken away (provided the penalty isn’t a reserved one which very few actually are and even then it’s possible for a priest to take it away in some circumstances). That said it’s actually quite hard to get excommunicated. A latae sententiae excommunication excommunication is incurred if the person (a) is at least 16 years old; (b) was coerced by grave fear; (c) knew that there was a penalty for what they did; (d) acted with full freedom (so wasn’t forced or pressured); (e) was Catholic. All of these need to established before the penalty can be declared!