If God is suppose to put us in in the right place and the right situation, why hasn't he done this with me?

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WildCatholic

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I’m sorry if this is in the wrong forum, and also I’m sorry if I sound whiny and complaining, but lately i feel as if I am a rut in every area of my life. As of right now I am a 24 year old who is “underemployed” as a substitute teacher and grocery store cashier who lives at home. I have a teaching degree, but I can’t find a job and though I keep applying, I just can’t get a teaching job

To add to my problems I live in the middle of nowhere. It isn’t too bad. I like parts of the rural lifestyle, but I don’t really have any friends who are close by, and there aren’t a lot of young people in my area. I would love to be able to move, but seeing as I am having a hard time finding a full time job, i’m not really able to.

I also find that my faith life is struggling. I still go to mass, but my prayer life sucks. I try to say the Divine Mercy every day, but I can’t do it consistently. I also try to go to more daily masses, but with my job going to 11 at night and just plain laziness, I end up not going. I also feel like i’m alone because my family doesn’t practice their faith, and there are few practicing catholics who are my age in my area (in fact there just aren’t many people my age in my area period, unless they are married, in which case they just hang out with each other or other couples). It would help me so much in my faith if I had someone who could help me along. Also, it sucks from the stand point that there is no one really to hang out with and just do something like get lunch or go to the movies with other than my autistic brother (i love him, but I hang out with him so much, I need more people). I haven’t even had a girlfriend though i’ve dated. Which sucks because I was emotionally healthier in college. Why couldn’t I get someone then so i’d at least have somebody now? Even my priest at my tiny parish doesn’t really talk to me unless I approach him. You’d think he could ask me how’s it going, but nope. I’m not his kind of person since my family isn’t a bunch of parish bigwigs.

There are some good things in my life. I continue to have faith and in trying to apply for jobs I have also applied for Totus Tuus for this summer, though I didn’t get it last time because they were worried that since i didn’t have a teaching job, i’d be more focused on that. I also am thnking of getting my masters through a program where i’d teach in a Catholic School while getting it, and tuition is subsidized 🙂

However, i guess this has got me wondering why God has put me here. Everybody says God has a plan for us. Well what is my plan when i’m underemployed living in the boonies, and don’t have any friends? What purpose could I possibly serve? I feel like my life is on hold, which sucks when my friends are doing such exciting things like getting married and having kids or going to amazing places. I just feel like i’m stuck. Anymore I feel life is just a vale of tears and i wish God could just tell me what he wants of me, or call me home if there is no purpose for me. I feel like God is just silent in regards to my life. Sure I follow his commandments and try to live morally,but I wish he could just tell me what to do or what is going to happen in my life, and why things are so bad now.

I’m sorry if this is too long, but I just need to get this out. I also would love suggestions, and more than just prayer and positive thinking. I need real suggestions.

Thanks and God Bless

WildCatholic
 
Spiritually, I think you need to go deeper.

Do you go to confession and have you ever been to Eucharistic adoration ?
 
A lot of times… we expect God to do everything for us. You’re 24…you’re learning through your struggleing how hard it is to be independent, you’re learning to trust and come to God when things are bad like this…you’re where you need to be in your spiritual growing.

You need to go further and make a stronger effort . The divine Mercy chaplet takes about 5 minutes tops…and going to mass does not immediatly make us holy and in a REAL love relationship with Christ on it’s own. These things take practice …and that practice becomes even more perfected when we’re weak and down…because it gives us the grace to want to cling to Him ever more strongly.

Friends, girls, jobs, careers…all these are great and will come in their own time …in Gods time (so long as you continue to do your part)…but what’s most important is your relationship with Christ. I think you know this or you would not have brought this to a catholic forum.

What you’re doing spiritually is great…but you need to “grow up” more. A relationship requires time…and you need to make time. Eucharistic adoration will help you advance quickly as will a good confession and frequent confession…you gotta get all the bad stuff out of the way so God can work with you.

God Bless
 
Prayers for you. Maybe God thinks you are in the right place right now. Maybe He’s setting you up so that in the future you are in exactly the right spot at some critical point in the life of someone (or someones). I’m older than you and I can look back now and I see times in my life when I didn’t think God was doing much with me–now I know He was doing far more with me and through me than I knew.

“They also serve who sit and wait.”
 
WildCatholic said:
…However, i guess this has got me wondering why God has put me here. Everybody says God has a plan for us. Well what is my plan when i’m underemployed living in the boonies, and don’t have any friends? What purpose could I possibly serve?..
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You do remember that Moses and David spent a good chunk of their lives tending sheep. Our Lord spent the vast majority of his life in a nowhere town doing who-knows-what things, and no one can say what because no one wrote it down. Even those destined to do great things for the glory of God typically spend their 20s doing something far less glamorous.

You are not alone in feeling the way you are feeling, either:
Some time after these events, this word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: “Fear not, Abram! I am your shield; I will make your reward very great.” But Abram said, “O Lord GOD, what good will your gifts be, if I keep on being childless and have as my heir the steward of my house, Eliezer?” Abram continued, “See, you have given me no offspring, and so one of my servants will be my heir.” Then the word of the LORD came to him: “No, that one shall not be your heir; your own issue shall be your heir.” He took him outside and said: “Look up at the sky and count the stars, if you can. Just so,” he added, “shall your descendants be.” Abram put his faith in the LORD, who credited it to him as an act of righteousness. Gen. 15:1-6

I think you know that Abraham had a lot of waiting in front of him, even then. Neither was he around to bounce the 12 patriarchs on his old knees when they finally were born. You may also possibly realize that most of God’s faithful servants go through this life with no fanfare, serving without notice or status. Too few people notice or appreciate the garbage guy until the garbage doesn’t get picked up, or pay attention to the clerks that help them until they run into a clerk who is not up to the job.

Concentrate on being a servant, concentrate on doing God’s will, and let God use you in the time and in the way He sees fit. Do not be too hard on yourself about your discontent, though. Maybe it is time for you to pick up and move somewhere else, to take a chance. Maybe that is what these feelings are about, and you are simply being tempted to take them in the wrong way. Don’t get upset about it, though. Good decisions aren’t made out of desperation nor driven by anxiety. Just think about what you might do to put yourself in a better position to be used.
 
I’m 27, live at my parents in “the middle of nowhere”, and just applied for the first time to college. You are not alone. God’s ways are not our ways.
 
MichaelHowling said:
Spiritually, I think you need to go deeper.

Do you go to confession and have you ever been to Eucharistic adoration ?
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Usually every week. As for adoration, it is only offered once a month in my parish on first fridays since we are a tiny rural parish. One nearby does do perpetual adoration though. But its not just that. I don’t want to be alone. I know God is always there, but isn’t that why Adam had Eve. Moses had Tsiporah. Even Jesus had the 12 apostles. I don’t have any of that. And to the person who said I need to move. Its a matter of getting a job first. I can’t just pack up. I’m not rich, and my family isn’t rich either. I can’t just pack up and leave or else i’d be homeless. Maybe god wants me to be lonely so I can focus on him instead of other things?
 
Know that you are not alone in feeling stalled professionally and personally. So many people don’t have jobs at all, and many that are employed are earning less and working more. So don’t take it personally that it is taking longer than expected to find a teaching job. Have you thought about teaching catechism in your parish? You never know if it is a way to network for a public school teaching position, as well as introduce you to a new crowd, and last but not least, do something good for you spiritually.

Can you use this time to travel a bit, maybe to visit friends from college? Take advantage of all the things you can do while you are single. For instance, there is this group Singles Serving Orphans that plans periodic trips to Mexico. Maybe an opportunity to do something different, get out of a small town, and meet other young people?

servinggodskids.org/singles-serving-orphans/
 
WildCatholic said:
. Maybe God wants me to be lonely so I can focus on him instead of other things?
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WildCatholic said:
I feel like God is just** silent** in regards to my life.
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This word in your post leapt out at me. Silence and absence can be a time of preparation for what is to come. Before beginning His ministry, Jesus was taken by Spirit into the solitude and silence of the desert and fasted for 40 days. If you can, remain in the desert and embrace the silence–until He breaks it.

Matthew 4:1-11 usccb.org/bible/mt/4:23
 
Well, do you think you need to make a change? Should you move to a city? Maybe find a district that needs teachers and move there?

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PaulinVA said:
Well, do you think you need to make a change? Should you move to a city? Maybe find a district that needs teachers and move there?

Posted from Catholic.com App for Android
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Unfortunately I teach a subject that isn’t in high demand. I am trying to find more areas to move to. I put in apps in NE, IA, KS, MO, MN, SD, and plan to look for more. It isn’t that simple though because a lot of states require different certification requirements. Some states won’t even hire candidates from certain states unless they are certified there.

Anyway, I could try and find another job in another state. But I don’t know what my degree qualifies me to do, and i’ve had a lot of different jobs in my hs and college career, but nothing that leads to anything. And don’t suggest school. as I mentioned earlier, i am poor and my family is poor so I can’t afford more school.

I know I sound negative, but its the truth. I can’t ignore the facts. This isn’t the old days where one had a degree and could get a job anywhere.
 
WildCatholic said:
…This isn’t the old days where one had a degree and could get a job anywhere.
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I’m not exactly sure when those days were, especially when it comes to teaching degrees. There were some teachers being hired during the Depression and there were some people with degrees who couldn’t find a job during a boom. There have also always been people who trained to be teachers (or whatever) and realized after their training that they had little aptitude for their chosen field. There have never been guarantees.

Our Lord apparently spent a lot of time in a wood shop in an obscure backwater town. Most of the Apostles had no better “prospects”. If that is you, don’t take that as a sign that there is no plan for your life.

You’re in a tough spot, but hang in there and look for ways to be optimistic. Optimists usually overestimate their chances of success compared to pessimists, whose estimates are more accurate, but optimists still succeed more often! Aim high, then! It is hard to argue with success!
 
EasterJoy said:
I’m not exactly sure when those days were, especially when it comes to teaching degrees. There were some teachers being hired during the Depression and there were some people with degrees who couldn’t find a job during a boom. There have also always been people who trained to be teachers (or whatever) and realized after their training that they had little aptitude for their chosen field. There have never been guarantees.

Our Lord apparently spent a lot of time in a wood shop in an obscure backwater town. Most of the Apostles had no better “prospects”. If that is you, don’t take that as a sign that there is no plan for your life.

You’re in a tough spot, but hang in there and look for ways to be optimistic. Optimists usually overestimate their chances of success compared to pessimists, whose estimates are more accurate, but optimists still succeed more often! Aim high, then! It is hard to argue with success!
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But it just feels unnatural to me to be an optimist. I don’t want to dream my life away. As i said i’m not in too bad of straits. In having an education I do have something. Its just that hiring prospects are terrible, and I feel like there is no way out. I guess if its what God wants of me that is how it will be. I’ve heard people say God wants us to be happy, but anymore, I think God doesn’t care about it. Not that he wants us to be sad, but in that he just wants us to praise him and have a relationship with him no matter how good or bad our lives are. SO i guess thats what I should focus on while i’m living like some bum on food stamps after my mom passes (she’s in her early 60’s and I can’t live with her forever).
 
24 years old, finished schooling, living in a small town, no great job prospects, few people your age to socialise with…this is the experience of so many people from small towns (rural areas in general). A move may be in order?

I know you say finding a job elsewhere is proving hard…but it sounds like it’s what you have to seriously consider and strive for. Don’t expect God to just hand you what you want. But if you approach this challenge with energy and optimism, you can expect God to lead you…in His way and His time…

“With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day” (2 Peter 3:8).

Keep in mind that if you show even a hint of the pessimism that you show here in any job interview, you will not get that job. If you feel that optimism isn’t warranted, then you’re not trying hard enough. There’s millions of people in the world much worse off than you, so try a little harder to enjoy the lot you’ve been given at this time. I don’t mean to be unkind or to trivialise your frustrations, but it always helps me when I feel down to focus on what I do have, and recognise the desparate situations that others are in, and my troubles seem a lot less than I thought.
 
WildCatholic said:
However, i guess this has got me wondering why God has put me here. Everybody says God has a plan for us. Well what is my plan when i’m underemployed living in the boonies, and don’t have any friends? What purpose could I possibly serve? I feel like my life is on hold, which sucks when my friends are doing such exciting things like getting married and having kids or going to amazing places. I just feel like i’m stuck. Anymore I feel life is just a vale of tears and i wish God could just tell me what he wants of me, or call me home if there is no purpose for me. I feel like God is just silent in regards to my life. Sure I follow his commandments and try to live morally,but I wish he could just tell me what to do or what is going to happen in my life, and why things are so bad now.

… Thanks and God Bless

WildCatholic
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I think I could say I’ve been where you are, both when I was a Christian and when I was not.

Christ’s ministry only lasted three years, and didn’t start till He was about thirty.

The preceding thirty years were spent in a backwoods village in the boonies; He lived at home with Mum and didn’t have any girlfriends that we know about, and no brothers or sisters if we accept Mary as a perpetual virgin; walked everywhere, and probably didn’t go outside a radius of a few kilometres from his village. He was a carpenter without any power tools, and by the time he was thirty it had been eighteen years since he astounded everybody in the temple by his insights at the age of twelve.

The amazing boy wonder had turned into a nonentity as far as all the important people were concerned.

I wonder if He thought He’d been forgotten?

This time of slow, patient testing can be the seed bed for later development. It’s frustrating, but you’ve just got to hang in there.
 
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