If I seek out a confessor that I know I will probably never see again is my contrition imperfect?

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d_floyd77

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I asked one of the Fr.'s this and haven’t heard back yet.

I am a new Catholic, just confirmed last week actually, and I commited mortal sin Monday night. I have had the worst, guilt filled (rightly so, not a sympathy statement) week. I was even for a moment interpreting it as a sign of my unability to faithfully be a Catholic. I have since resolved to go to Confession today (Saturday) and recieve our Lord tonight at Mass. My question pertains to contrition.

I am considering going to our local Newman center for my confession due to the embarrasement I would feel confessing to one of my parish priests. Obviously they know me and know I was just confirmed at Vigil.

Would me doing that indicate some type of “imperfect” contrition, being that I am in a sense seeking the “easy” confession? I would obviously still be making a complete confession, to the best of my ability.

Thanks.

-James

“St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.”
 
obviously your parish priests know many or most of their parishioners, who confess regularly (or, sadly, not regularly enough). Shame and embarrassment are the beginning of true contrition, they are reasons to go to confession, not reasons to stay away. Get in line. The just man sins 7 times a day says the rabbi, where does that leave the rest of us? If you think you joined a perfect church of perfect people ask for your money back. We are all sinners, and that is why we are here.
 
It’s okay to go to another priest for confession besides your parish priest. The important thing is that you go. I often go to a priest outside my parish simply because our parish priests and I do a lot of things together in the church with all the ministries I’m involved with. They’re both great priests and I’ve confessed to them before, but my own pride, something I have to work on, makes me more comfortable going to another priest who has become my regular confessor.

By the way you mentioned you were new to the faith so allow me to say “Welcome home!”
 
Welcome home! Please don’t fall into the new Catholic trap of thinking that you must do everything in the most difficult way in order for it to be valid or worthy. Becoming Catholic does not mean you stop being human. You will continue to have feelings. You will continue to do things imperfectly. You will continue to sin. And you’ll still be a good Catholic if you keep trying to improve.

There are people (even some people here) who will tell you that in order for your confession to be right, you must confess face-to-face with a priest who knows you, so that you will experience the most possible humiliation in the process. That may well be their devotion, but it is not required of them, of you, or of anyone. Jesus is so generous in His love for you that Confession can be as easy as you want it to be and still give you the wonderful forgiveness of Christ.

The heart of this sacrament is your sorrow for and turning away from your sin, not your humiliation. If you have sorrow, wish you had never done the sin, and will give your best effort to not doing it again, your contrition is good enough for Confession. It’s good enough if the sorrow refers IN ANY WAY AT ALL to God, including fear of hell. When would it be not good enough? If it only referred to you, for example, disappointment in your own ability to keep away from sin, based on pride.

You are free to confess to ANY priest at all who is allowed to hear confessions in your location. You can choose him because you know him or because you don’t; because he gives great advice or he won’t say a word to you. And if you end up confessing something shameful to a priest who knows you, he cannot ever, even in his thoughts, act on the knowledge of your sins or reveal them to others. Some priests have a special gift of forgetting what they’ve heard, and most of them hear so much that they couldn’t remember if they tried - it all runs together.

Concentrate on you and Jesus, how your sin has offended Him and how He wants to forgive you and bring you closer to him. Jesus will use the priest, whoever he is, to do that. God bless you.

Betsy
 
sorry could not find the thread to post this link to “I asked my question where did it go” to help OP
 
d_floyd77 said:
Would me doing that indicate some type of “imperfect” contrition, being that I am in a sense seeking the “easy” confession? I would obviously still be making a complete confession, to the best of my ability.
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The sacramental absolution of a priest removes sin even if contrition is imperfect. Most people do not have perfect contrition when confessing. Perfect contrition is sorrow for sin because it has offended the infinite majesty of God. and for no other reason. Most people have a fear of hell, which is OK and natural, as this is what drives most people back to confession. This fear is prompted by the theological virtues of faith and hope. which is what brings us back to confession. Absolution restores the third theological virtue of charity, which was lost with mortal sin. It is entirely natural to want to go to someone who does not know you. As you grow in your spiritual life, you will find having a personal confessor to be of great benefit, as a good confessor can lead you along the path of spiritual growth.
Deacon Ed B
 
If I seek out a confessor that I know I will probably never see again is my contrition imperfect?
 
James… 🙂
you don’t go to confession to see a priest but to tell Jesus whats been going on and that you need His Help.

I too have been in your shoes… I had the problem that I was afraid of saddening and also dissapointing my most beloved priests… so I went to others about the most sad and hurtful sin… but in the end they all came to know anyhow about the bad sin I’d committed… just after a longer time… not because I repeated the sin but because I did other sins in my disillusionment as a consequence to the first sin and became very depressed. We talk to the priests that we feel a bond with… thats also good because we need their care when we fall… and their personal prayer.
Shame might be a reason to go to a priest far away… beware of shame James… it often cripples people in a way Jesus did not intended. He loves you and He is wherever you come… dont focus on surroundings or details but focus on getting the best treatment for your wounds and sickness…

God bless you dear brother. And welcome in the Catholic Church. We are deligted to have you as our close brother at our Table.
 
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