If it isn't one thing, it's your mother

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JLCecilia

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So my side of the family had our Christmas gathering this past weekend. Much of it was spent sharing rolled eyes w/ my siblings and their spouses about my mom’s weird behavior. I think she’s gotten really bad. Here are just a few examples:
  1. after a long day in the kitchen, my sister (the hostess) was in the kitchen cleaning up by herself. the rest of the family had gone to bed since it was late, but mom was glued to a movie. I actually had to point out to her that my sister needed help in the kitchen. besides that, she needed to get off of the couch so the other guests could pull out the beds and go to sleep.
  2. she had begged my sil (who makes jewelry) for some pearly earrings to which my sil replied that they were on one of the tables by the front door. later, mom was carrying on about how she had misplaced these ‘desparately’ desired earrings. my sil and i rolled our eyes at ea other and when mom found them, she made a point of putting them in her front pocket. yeah, they’re really safe there!
  3. mom had 2 really fabulous new jackets that she was just dying to show off and since none of us really dress up for these occasions, she showcased one when we went to mass, then promptly changed into the other one for unwrapping gifts. on the morning we were leaving, dad and I were getting around to go and mom was gonna ride home w/ other family. so she’s there buttoning up her fabulous new winter coat, not paying attn that the family she’s riding home w/ hadn’t put one thing in the car and wasn’t leaving for several hours. she just wanted to stand there and put her jacket on when she knew everyone would be standing around to see it. nobody paid her ONE compliment on any of her jackets.
  4. she is obsessed w/ making doll clothes for one of my nieces. my other little niece (2.5 yo) was playing w/ her cousin’s dollies and mom nabs the thing from her when she sets it down briefly and is sitting there measuring the darn thing for more clothes, all the while my little niece is beside herself to play w/ the dolly. also, when one of my boys got a cowboy outfit while we were opening gifts, it dawned on my mother that she needed to make him a cowboy vest. in the middle of opening gifts, she’s trying to get my attn and hand me the tape measure to measure his chest and back. like she needed them that very instant. like she’s even going to get any of this done - she promised my crib dust ruffles would be done this weekend (she’s had the fabric for a year). the baby doll clothes that she was making for my niece? she was up till 3-4 the morning before our 5 hr drive and the whole way down making the darn things. she hadn’t even cut the fabric till the day before our family christmas!!!
  5. she bought this nativity set as a housewarming gift to my sister for hosting and a few of us pitched in on it. when my sister gave us the house tour, she pointed out their new nativity set they just got. mom pulls me aside to say that she’s going to return the set she bought them. i tried to explain to her that they could put it in their 2nd living room and that she really just needed to give it them and let THEM decide what they want to do w/ it.
what the heck!
 
We all have our little things that drive people nuts and you have let those things get way out of hand. Why don’t you say a little prayer for your Mother instead of rolling your eyes at her. Offer it up when she annoys you. She’s your Momma, love her.
 
Your mom sounds a bit eccentric. We all have our little quirks, that is what makes life interesting!

Love her while she is here.
 
Maybe something’s getting lost in the translation you and siblings reactions to your mom’s quirkiness seems a bit well…mean. Why not compliment her on her jackets if they are so important to her. Why not appreciate that wants to make things for people in the family even if her timing is a bit strange. The fact that she really wanted those earrings from your SIL seems complimentary to SIL. And there’s nothing strange about having second thoughts about giving a gift that you realize someone has just bought themselves.
 
My mom ended every phone call we had with, go get your work done…drove me crazy…what I wouldn’t give to hear her say it one more time…I say, love her while you have her, someday you will miss these silly things she does.
 
I’ll trade you your mom for my mother in law 😃

Just kidding, although I think your mom sounds funny!!! 😉
 
rayne89 said:
Maybe something’s getting lost in the translation you and siblings reactions to your mom’s quirkiness seems a bit well…mean. Why not compliment her on her jackets if they are so important to her. Why not appreciate that wants to make things for people in the family even if her timing is a bit strange. The fact that she really wanted those earrings from your SIL seems complimentary to SIL. And there’s nothing strange about having second thoughts about giving a gift that you realize someone has just bought themselves.
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I agree, Rayne. There’s got to be somethng more to the situation.
Just based on what was posted here, I would think the mom is mostly harmless (to quote Douglas Adams). Some people really are completely clueless about how to interact with others without having to be the center of attention. If what was described is the worst of the behavior, I’d try my best to let it slide off my back.
 
I like your Mom. She’d fit in quite well, around here. We would all laugh together at each other’s silliness. 🙂
 
I agree with the other posters. What the heck, someday your mom will not be around, and then you’ll miss her.
 
dakotagirl said:
I agree with the other posters. What the heck, someday your mom will not be around, and then you’ll miss her.
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👍 I miss my Mom so much and remember the days when we could actually roll our eyes over the things she did. :rolleyes:

One thing my Mom used to do was say Praise Jesus(loudly).
At the time, we rolled our eyes, little did I know, I would be doing the same thing now that I am her age! :yup:

Praise Jesus for giving us Moms.

Honor Thy Mother and Father.

How old is Mom, are you fearing mental illness or Alzheimers?
 
You need to call your Mom and tell her what a great Jacket that was and apologize for not mentioning it that day. I don’t care if it was hideous.

I have spoken! 🎉
 
treasure your mom while you still have her, and thank her for giving you great stories to tell when she is gone.

the one Christmas habit my mom had was to wrap and store the presents for the kids in a chest in her living room, so they all smelled like cigarette smoke, and had to be aired on the back porch for a week.

kids still joke about MIL, because she used to give all the grandkids matching outfits at Christmas, up until they were almost ready for college, each year had a different theme. they complained at our family reunion because she did not bring matching outfits–then she gave out the custom t-shirts she had made for them
 
maybe a little self-centered, maybe a little myopic. but your mom doesn’t sound mean or destructive.

if this behavior is intensifying as she gets older, new studies have shown that old people lose a certain hormone that regulates or inhibits behavior. it may be the reason why seniors retell many stories and act in ways you’ve described.

charity begins at home. folks with aging parents have a whole new way to observe the fourth commandment.
 
I totally relate; and I also think it’s perfectly OK to have someplace to go (like here) and vent your frustrations.

What helps me when I’m getting annoyed at my mom is remembering that she used to get annoyed with HER mom in exactly the same way and for exactly the same reasons! So perhaps we’re just following our family tradition! 😉
 
Wow, don’t be so hard on your Mom. Doesn’t sound as though her behaviour is harming anybody, We all develop odd mannerisms as we age, give her a break.

If you were saying she complained, criticised and nagged the whole weekend, you may get some sympathy, but she sounds like a different but regular person.

To make something positive of your irritation now though, remember all the things your Mom does that irritate you, and promise yourself you will never do those same things yourself.
 
Usually with my mother it’s, OMG why aren’t you wearing what I sent you? OMG why did you get the kids that? OMG why is he wearing that? OMG look how you are eating? Listen to how you are laughing…What are you doing? Why don’t you do this…

BUT I would just look at her and give her a hug and tell her it’s ok!!

Now that I live far away I still have to hear her, but now it’s about everyone else…

🤷

I just try to be there for her and have patience for her. She’s my mother and even though I love her and hope GOD continues to bless her…
 
The way I look at it, my kids have put me in so many uncomfortable situations that I owe it to them to make them feel the same way when I’m old.

My oldest is really in for it. She stripped on the steps of the church. I caught her stuffing fake money down her shirt in the children’s museum. While I was trying to canter at Mass she yelled at the top of her lungs, “I have poop coming out of my fanny!” She has led my In-laws to believe her father abuses me. He’s a cop and was trying to show a group of women self defense moves. All these things were purely innocent but OH do I owe her.

My youngest has put me through all kinds of torments while trying to use public restrooms. She has told me how stinky I am. She has offered to make sure my fanny is clean and cheered me on as I am attempting to quietly piddle. Rarely did I get out of the bathroom without her checking to see if I did my job and telling me what a good girl I am.

My son has an issue with using other peoples toilets and while on a trip had to do # 2 so bad he was in agony. I ended up giving a three and a half year old a big lecture on how to push out poop while countless old ladies snickered in the public restroom. This child also declared he used to have one marble and now he has two. Before we figured out what he was talking about he whipped his pants down to show everyone his marbles. He even offered to let them feel if they didn’t believe him.

These are just a few of the jaw dropping situations they have gotten me into. I so owe them!!! My husband is plotting his attacks. He can’t wait to get even.

Love your Momma, she put up with you when you were little now it’s your turn.
 
dkoinzan said:
The way I look at it, my kids have put me in so many uncomfortable situations that I owe it to them to make them feel the same way when I’m old.

My oldest is really in for it. She stripped on the steps of the church. I caught her stuffing fake money down her shirt in the children’s museum. While I was trying to canter at Mass she yelled at the top of her lungs, “I have poop coming out of my fanny!” She has led my In-laws to believe her father abuses me. He’s a cop and was trying to show a group of women self defense moves. All these things were purely innocent but OH do I owe her.

My youngest has put me through all kinds of torments while trying to use public restrooms. She has told me how stinky I am. She has offered to make sure my fanny is clean and cheered me on as I am attempting to quietly piddle. Rarely did I get out of the bathroom without her checking to see if I did my job and telling me what a good girl I am.

My son has an issue with using other peoples toilets and while on a trip had to do # 2 so bad he was in agony. I ended up giving a three and a half year old a big lecture on how to push out poop while countless old ladies snickered in the public restroom. This child also declared he used to have one marble and now he has two. Before we figured out what he was talking about he whipped his pants down to show everyone his marbles. He even offered to let them feel if they didn’t believe him.

These are just a few of the jaw dropping situations they have gotten me into. I so owe them!!! My husband is plotting his attacks. He can’t wait to get even.

Love your Momma, she put up with you when you were little now it’s your turn.
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
dkoinzan said:
The way I look at it, my kids have put me in so many uncomfortable situations that I owe it to them to make them feel the same way when I’m old.

My oldest is really in for it. She stripped on the steps of the church. I caught her stuffing fake money down her shirt in the children’s museum. While I was trying to canter at Mass she yelled at the top of her lungs, “I have poop coming out of my fanny!” She has led my In-laws to believe her father abuses me. He’s a cop and was trying to show a group of women self defense moves. All these things were purely innocent but OH do I owe her.

My youngest has put me through all kinds of torments while trying to use public restrooms. She has told me how stinky I am. She has offered to make sure my fanny is clean and cheered me on as I am attempting to quietly piddle. Rarely did I get out of the bathroom without her checking to see if I did my job and telling me what a good girl I am.

My son has an issue with using other peoples toilets and while on a trip had to do # 2 so bad he was in agony. I ended up giving a three and a half year old a big lecture on how to push out poop while countless old ladies snickered in the public restroom. This child also declared he used to have one marble and now he has two. Before we figured out what he was talking about he whipped his pants down to show everyone his marbles. He even offered to let them feel if they didn’t believe him.

These are just a few of the jaw dropping situations they have gotten me into. I so owe them!!! My husband is plotting his attacks. He can’t wait to get even.

Love your Momma, she put up with you when you were little now it’s your turn.
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Thank you!! I needed that!:rotfl:
 
dkoinzan said:
The way I look at it, my kids have put me in so many uncomfortable situations that I owe it to them to make them feel the same way when I’m old.

My oldest is really in for it. She stripped on the steps of the church. I caught her stuffing fake money down her shirt in the children’s museum. While I was trying to canter at Mass she yelled at the top of her lungs, “I have poop coming out of my fanny!” She has led my In-laws to believe her father abuses me. He’s a cop and was trying to show a group of women self defense moves. All these things were purely innocent but OH do I owe her.

My youngest has put me through all kinds of torments while trying to use public restrooms. She has told me how stinky I am. She has offered to make sure my fanny is clean and cheered me on as I am attempting to quietly piddle. Rarely did I get out of the bathroom without her checking to see if I did my job and telling me what a good girl I am.

My son has an issue with using other peoples toilets and while on a trip had to do # 2 so bad he was in agony. I ended up giving a three and a half year old a big lecture on how to push out poop while countless old ladies snickered in the public restroom. This child also declared he used to have one marble and now he has two. Before we figured out what he was talking about he whipped his pants down to show everyone his marbles. He even offered to let them feel if they didn’t believe him.

These are just a few of the jaw dropping situations they have gotten me into. I so owe them!!! My husband is plotting his attacks. He can’t wait to get even.

Love your Momma, she put up with you when you were little now it’s your turn.
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OMG that’s hilarious!! :amen:
 
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