If NFP is really 99% effective

[micahmike]

If a couple is having issues with their particular use of NFP, they should be encouraged to have regular meetings with their NFP instructors, then consider switching methods (there are several out there), and also to consider seeing specialist doctors.

We did all that, what else have you got?

 

[jmcrae]

No. We didn’t explore advanced methods of perfecting our NFP technique. The charge of “you’re not doing it right” could probably be applied to us. We definitely tried though. Could have put more time into learning it.

Again this falls into the realm of unrealistic expectations. No one says that in order to effectively use NFP you have to do a, b, c, and d, and it will take you at least xxx hours to get down. It’s always just “hey, use NFP, it’s 99% effective, no worries!”.

Actually, I don’t know any NFP instructors who talk like that. Most of them recommend a three-month period of abstinence, to get used to the process, before using it for real. There will be 14 days between ovulation and the first day of your period, so chart for at least one full cycle before starting sex, and then count back to see what your chart looked like, 14 days before Day 1. By doing it twice more, you eliminate non-relevant information, and narrow it down to what you need to be looking for.

It’s best if you can do that for the three months prior to the wedding; however, if that’s not possible, then do it after going off of chemical or prophylactic birth control, and before starting to actually use NFP.

 

[larsenl1]

Link0126, I cannot tell if you are Roman Catholic, Eastern Catholic, what part of the world you are in. You are asking a lot of the forum members and not giving very much of yourself.

So we have to make some assumptions. Because you are communicating in English and refer to NFP you are probably Canadian, American, or British. Or educated in these countries. This tells us something about your standard of living.

There are also clues that you are not entirely sure what NFP is, you say you want to learn and the potential teacher has 6 screaming kids. This very statement is negative. Have you seen her kids in her home, at school, at the store? Or only when you are taking up her time after mass and her kids are starving?

I adopted 2 kids with my husband. Just to get them home cost more than $35,000. That was before braces and glasses. Delivery and labor for a baby costs $5,000. So which is cheaper at the onset? I admire your wife for the desire to adopt, but I have to say you are ill informed about many things.

A couple who uses NFP is often much more zesty in the bedsport simply because the husband knows his wife’s body. Knowing when and why the mucus is what is is can be informative and also the process of learning it can be fun.

So I guess I posit the following

• learn more about NFP in real life instead of supposition
• learn more about adoption, the painstaking background checks, interviews, proving you do not have AIDS or syphilis or tuberculosis, even though you know you don’t, you still have to prove it. And the money.

God Bless you

 

[balt_orioles54]

why does everyone who practices it have like 6 or 7 children, and counting… with still like 10 years left of fertility. Which means they are likely to have like 17 kids before it’s all said and done…

Me and wife want to learn NFP b/c we want to do the right thing (I’m pushing for it more than her) but she is getting more and more worried b/c her potential future teacher has 6 screaming kids all the time… To be perfectly honest, we can’t afford 1 kid, let alone 6-17.

It probably doesn’t work that well, does it?

Please let me know if it working for you and how long you’ve been using it and how many “unplanned” pregnancies have occured.

Thank you.

Catholic doctrine holds that God created sexual intercourse to be both unitive and procreative. The Catholic Church teaches that an act which deliberately attempts to divorce the unitive and procreative meaning of the marital act is opposed to God’s plan for life and love in the order of creation. “Any action which either before, at the moment of, or after sexual intercourse, is specifically intended to prevent procreation—whether as an end or as a means” is opposed to this order and is therefore forbiden according to orthodox Catholic teaching. Thus, artificial birth control methods are forbidden, as are acts intended to end in orgasm outside the context of intercourse (e.g. masturbation or oral sex that is not part of foreplay). At the same time, not having sex at all (abstinence) is considered morally acceptable.

Engaging in marital relations at an infertile time in a woman’s life (such as pregnancy or post-menopause) is also considered acceptable, since the infertile condition is considered to be created by God, rather than as an act by the couple. Similarly, under Catholic theology, it may be morally acceptable to abstain during the fertile part of the woman’s menstrual cycle. Increasing the postpartum infertile period through particular breastfeeding practices — the lactational amenorrhea method — is also considered a natural and morally unobjectionable way to space a family’s children.

The Catholic Church acknowledges a potential benefit of spacing children and use of NFP for this reason is tolerated. Humanae Vitae cites “physical, economic, psychological and social conditions” as possibly compelling reasons to avoid pregnancy. Couples are warned, however, against using NFP for selfish, immoral, or insincere reasons. A few Catholic theologians argue that couples with several children may morally choose to avoid pregnancy, even if their circumstances (emotional, physical, and economic) would allow for more children. More commonly, Catholic sources extol the benefits children bring to their parents, their siblings, and society in general, and encourage couples to have as many children as their circumstances make practical.

:tiphat:



father-son-holyspirit
:shamrock2:

 

[Curious_Hobbit]

This is precisely what strikes me as incongruent in Roman teaching. As you have presented it, one has great difficulty concluding that NFP is anything other than Roman approved birth control… which is why, I think, many have noted that NFP is often taught and practiced this way.

Hey workerpriest,
I used to struggle with the distinction between NFP and artificial birth control, but I understand it better now. Here’s an analogy with eating that I heard, it changed the way I thought of the issue a bit.

The natural purpose of eating is nutrition, energy for the body, sustenance, etc. There is a pleasure that comes along with eating. If you want to eat ice cream, cake, or any other tasty foods that aren’t very good for you then you have to eat responsibly and practice self control. Eat healthy foods during the week and exercise and reward yourself every few days with a good desert or junk food. We have the technology to analyze the nutritional make up of food (carbs, proteins, starch, calories,etc) so that you can decide what you should and should not eat and how much of what etc.

There was a practice of over-eating that took place in the Roman empire, mostly with upper class citizens. People would have large feasts, eat until they were full, and then go regurgitate what they just ate so that they could continue eating more. They enjoyed the pleasure that comes with eating food so much that they would bypass the natural limit allowed by their bodies in order to continue eating. This practice of eating is very far removed from the natural purpose of eating, it is completely self indulgent and contrary to the virtue temperance.

NFP is like this responsible way of dieting while birth control is like the Roman practice. NFP respects the purpose of the act, you’re playing by God’s rules. God gave a woman infertile times and we now have the technology to track those times just as we have the technology to to see what nutrients are in foods so that we can eat right, but have a treat when we’ve eaten healthy. The church doesn’t say that it’s wrong to have sex for pleasure, but you can’t alter the act for your own pleasure.

Birth control is similar to the Roman eating practice in that the person pursues the pleasure of the act without accepting the natural result of their decision to perform the act. NFP requires you to be virtuous, it requires you to be temperate and practice self control. To me this makes sense because it agrees with the Christian maxim “everything in moderation”

I once heard a priest talking about NFP, he said “ You want to know the reason why contraception is wrong? God made sex to be both unitive and procreative. Contraception separates the procreative aspect of sex from the unitive. “ When a couple using NFP wants to have sex they are respecting the purpose of the act when deciding whether or not to do it. The couple can abstain when the wife is fertile and come together when she is infertile. Since God gave a woman her fertility cycle, choosing to come together when she is infertile is not the same as ABC because the procreative aspect is a deciding factor; it has a bearing on their decision.

 

[sandusky1011]

I have not read the entire thread but before I became Catholic I did use the pill for 10 yrs. Then after my two children and becoming Catholic we decided to give NFP a try. It worked great for us but then my menses were very regular and I was very faithful about taking my temp every morning and recording. We were on this method for 10 years and it worked great!

 

[godisgood77]

I must say at the outset, that natural family planning seems to me the best of alternatives.

However…

My Lutheran mind has to ask, what’s so different theologically from using one intentional method of having sexual relations without the possiblity of children, versus using another intentional method to accomplish the same ends? Assuming that birth control is not abortive in nature (a grave and mortal sin, indeed) what’s the real difference between it and NFP? Both are seeking to have sexual relations without producing children, in effect, preventing conception.

Sure seems to me like the same thing.

AMEN Brother

 

[Debora123]

Catholics only use NFP for grave reason.

So typically, most Catholics who use NFP will use it sparingly when they need to space pregnancies. This is why you will see them having lots of children.

Remember how many children a couple has is NOT an indication for the success of ANY birth control. It’s how many UNEXPECTED children they have that’s the indicator.

Hope that helps!

Just a side note - Catholics may use nfp for JUST reasons. The reasons to avoid need not be “grave.”

 

[Link0126]

Haha, this thread is so old and from when we were first looking into/starting NFP. I now know better. All our friends use BC and have several kids due to BC failure rates, and b/c they don’t know their bodies. We use NFP and are the only ones not to have an accidental pregnancy.

 

[Equites_Christi]

Haha, this thread is so old and from when we were first looking into/starting NFP. I now know better. All our friends use BC and have several kids due to BC failure rates, and b/c they don’t know their bodies. We use NFP and are the only ones not to have an accidental pregnancy.

I’m glad you said that Link, a nice answer to your OP

As a young man who hopes to marry in the coming years, and probably will not make much money, reading a lot of these NFP threads can be very scary and depressing