If priest ACCIDENTALLY breaks Seal

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Layp3rs0n

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I’m concerned for my priest. I am getting married in March and recently had our first sit down with my confessor who will be presiding at our wedding. I had a very sinful past which God has forgiven in Confession. The meeting went well. As we were driving home my finance said to me “So he knows about your past?”
I laughed and replied, “He is my confessor of course he does.”

"Okay I just wondered since he asked us if I knew about it. "

I didnt even remember him saying this to us. And I know he would rather be imprisoned than break the seal. It may, if he said this have been a complete slip of the tongue on his part, a brain fart, and I believe I have spoken of my sins to him as a matter of guidance outside of Confession. He is a Holy man. A wonderful priest. I am not concerned, if this was said, that there was any malice, or if he said it, it was completely accidental. My future spouse knows of my past anyway. And at no point was the subject brought up again, and he must have, if he said something, been with such passing that even I didnt catch it, and he was probably unaware such a question fell from his lips. Has my poor, holy confessor, in an act of complete ignorance and probably without even thinking broken the seal and excommunicated himself ipso facto, perhaps even unaware he even asked? I mean priest are only human, and again, I don’t remember even answering such a question. I know he would never purposefully break the Seal. Do we need to point out that this might have happened to him? Do we need to mention it in case he needs to contact the Pope?
 
It is possible that the priest asked it in a totally generalized, not specifically about your confessed sins, way. He may ask that of any couple, even ones he hasn’t had confess to him.

Personally, I wouldn’t give it another thought. Be at peace. And best wishes on your upcoming marriage.
 
Thank you so much! I’m not even upset with him. Was just concerned for him as this would have been akin to accidentally running a stop sign you didnt see but getting a ticket anyway. The ipso facto excommunication I think must be reserved for priests who knowingly break the seal. But you are probably right. Thanks again.
 
I meant to say I might have, but am not certain I have. In which case, that was my worry. I know i have mentioned it whilst in confession.
 
One thing that occurs to me is that - your fiancee knows of your past, is it possible that your priest was asking a general question that he would have asked any couple, but since your fiancee knew of your past, she assumed he was speaking about you? From your post, you don’t recall when it came up, and your fiancee can’t give you the exact statement.

For me, there are many times, when I am privy to information about some situation, I may interpret a statement differently than if I didn’t know said information.
 
Very true. Thank you. I just was uncertain if excommunicated kicked in, even if the priest let the cat out of the bag purely by accident. I’m glad that he is okay. 🙂
 
Is it even possible to be excommunicated due to an accident? I was under the impression that one has to act intentionally in order to incur excommunication. 🤔
 
Generally, yes. In practice, so I’m told, the CDF only enforces sanctions on violations of the seal which are shown to be malicious. They don’t even consider a case if malice is not present.

-Fr ACEGC
 
I think he was judgemental of you up to the point where he wondered if your fiancee knows about it or have you pretended to be somone else and he marries the someone you’re not and this would make the marriage invalid at any point he would have found out about your past. So the priest was worried the marriage validity.
But did the priest specifically say to your fiancee anything you confessed? Like did he say “do you know she did this and that…” or did he ask “do you know about her past?”?
 
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I don’t think he asked her specifically about “this or that”. I’ll talk to Father myself. Not in an accusatory manner but just to clarify.
 
Does doing this necessary mean that he was being judgmental or could it be more that he was being responsible to ensure that both were going into the marriage fully informed and able to make informed decisions to commit to a “valid catholic marriage”?
 
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Even if The Seal has been broken, esp. without intent, what can be done about it. A priest hears so many confessions that by this time or by the time of your marriage he won’t even remember. Also, don’t worry about telling the Pope. just forget about it, but carry on.
 
Rozellelily said:
could it be more that he was being responsible to ensure that both were going into the marriage fully informed and able to make informed decisions to commit to a “valid catholic marriage”?
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My guess is this one. Priests hear a lot of things. Them dwelling on what they hear and judging people is more like a movie script than reality imho. Some people even complain the priest did not pay enough attention to what the confessor was saying and it was serious.
 
shainski said:
is it possible that your priest was asking a general question that he would have asked any couple, but since your fiancee knew of your past, she assumed he was speaking about you?
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This! 👍

@Layp3rs0n, part of the preparation for marriage includes a discussion that centers on the notion of ‘consent’ in the context of valid marriage. In order for your marriage to be valid, each of you must know everything relevant about each other that is relevant to your consenting to the marriage. (As an example, if I knew I would never marry a Baltimore Ravens fan, and my fiancee hid the fact that secretly, she bleeds purple and gold, then our marriage would be invalid. (Well… something like that, but in more important matters. 😉 ))

So, the priest or deacon who prepares you for marriage must ask you whether there’s anything about you that’s relevant to consent that you haven’t shared with your fiancee. And so, correspondingly, he might ask what you know of your fiancee’s past. (These conversations happen one-on-one, so that it’s possible to determine whether there are any shenanigans going on.)

In other words, the mere asking of the question, “what do you know about your fiance’s past?” isn’t a violation of the seal – it’s a necessary part of marriage prep!
 
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