If some say you're ugly and some say you're handsome, who is right?

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This has maddened me for years. My mum and dad think I am handsome. My friends (the close ones) think so too. But I’ve also been called ugly and really can’t decide for myself.
 
Good looks are subjective. It all depends upon who is looking at you. There is no right or wrong. 🙂
 
There are mean-spirited people of any age (but especially in the under-25 crowd) who will call you ugly, fat, stupid, etc, simply to make you feel bad. Don’t listen to them! Beauty is all in the mind of the beholder.

There’s people who love redheads, people who love blondes, etc. There are people attracted to those who are taller, shorter, skinny, hefty, etc. Everyone’s got something that someone else will find beautiful, yet others won’t care for.
 
You’re made in God’s image. You are beautiful, not just handsome.
 
Neither. You are who you are in the eyes of God who sees above all else your soul.

And vanity doesnt bring forth good things.
 
Peter12rb said:
There are mean-spirited people of any age (but especially in the under-25 crowd) who will call you ugly, fat, stupid, etc, simply to make you feel bad.
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I must say that I was surprised that anyone would say this sort of thing to someone!

Krogan, I totally wouldn’t worry about it. You are who God made you, if you are working on holiness, nothing else matters 🙂
Don’t listen to them! Beauty is all in the mind of the beholder.
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There’s people who love redheads, people who love blondes, etc. There are people attracted to those who are taller, shorter, skinny, hefty, etc. Everyone’s got something that someone else will find beautiful, yet others won’t care for.
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Here is just a thought that might help…
The most physically “beautiful” men and women in the world, the ones who become models and idols, are also the ones who receive the greatest condemnation for their imperfections. Think of the model who, despite doing everything she can to maximize her beauty, is told she is fat and ugly. Think of the pop star, who despite developing his physique and his voice talent as best as he can, is told he is too muscular or too wimpy or too effeminate or whatever. When you think about what they experience, it makes being of average-looks seem like a blessing.

Anyway, I know that wasn’t what your question was really about, but you know that there is no way that anonymous people on the internet can give you any reassurance. Listen to the people who love you. Believe them and ignore the haters. Being pretty/handsome or ugly/plain seems so important for a few years, and then it quickly becomes apparent how little it really matters for a happy life. Physical attractiveness is so subjective anyway, that labels of handsome or ugly are practically meaningless. And it is also true that the physical attractiveness of people increases subjectively the more you get to know someone and find all the things you like about their personality. And even aging does not stop that growth of physical attractiveness. Aging helps to reveal the true beauty of a person.

Hope that helps you to be at peace about this! God bless. 🙂
 
Krogandoctor said:
If some say you’re ugly and some say you’re handsome, who is right?
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Everyone is right. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Though it would be rude and uncharitable to express an unkind opinion, does the opinion of others regarding your physical beauty, how handsome you are, really matter in the grand scheme of things? Also, time is the great equalizer. Physical beauty always fades, so all that remains is inner beauty. That is what really matters.
 
Krogandoctor said:
This has maddened me for years. My mum and dad think I am handsome. My friends (the close ones) think so too. But I’ve also been called ugly and really can’t decide for myself.
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You are who you are. You are not what other people call you.

If I said you were a car, I still couldn’t drive you to the store.
If I said you were a lampost, you still wouldn’t shine light on the street.

How others describe your appearance is far less important than what you believe is important about yourself.
 
With no exceptions I can think of (although Liz Taylor, Muhammad Ali and the Duke of Edinburgh come close) everyone was or will be ugly at some point. Most newborns are pitiful, wrinkled, bug-eyed lumps in their first weeks of life. And unless you’re Jackie Stallone, who at 91 resembles a shop mannequin, no one can escape the sagging that comes with old age.

Keep things in perspective and don’t take your critics seriously. They’re in for a nasty shock when no one’s hitting on them anymore.
 
UpUpAndAway said:
Good looks are subjective. It all depends upon who is looking at you. There is no right or wrong. 🙂
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Exactly.

I’ve had some of my friends ask for advice on how to get into acting and modeling, since my wife and kids do some part time acting. It’s amusing to listen to some of these parents. They go on and on about how great looking their kids are. Then the try to get me to say how great looking their kids are and about how successful they will be. My answer? It’s not relevant whether or not they or I think the kids are good looking because its completely subjective. Some people we think are ugly end up on magazine covers, and people we think are beautiful never get noticed. And what is good looking or ugly can change over time.
 
Krogandoctor said:
This has maddened me for years. My mum and dad think I am handsome. My friends (the close ones) think so too. But I’ve also been called ugly and really can’t decide for myself.
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Honestly, I would try to just not think about it too much. One thing I’ve always believed since I was a child was that youth and beauty are fleeting and to not put that much emphasis on it. If you are attractive or have attractive attributes, thank God for these physical gifts, but never take it too seriously. Focus on your character, your spiritual life and expanding your intellect.

It is also definitely a subjective thing. You can be the most beautiful person in the world to many people, but there will always be someone who may think you are unattractive or plain ugly. One thing I have found is how quickly a physically unattractive person can actually look attractive or a physically beautiful person can appear “ugly” once you get to know them. The ugliest person in the world can have people who love them believe they are beautiful and that’s really all that matters if a person is concerned about how others view them.

Also, I personally don’t think there are many truly ugly people in the world. In fact, most of the people I’ve ever seen range in between average to drop-dead-gorgeous. Perhaps it’s just how I view people in terms of their physical attributes, though.
 
Krogandoctor said:
This has maddened me for years. My mum and dad think I am handsome. My friends (the close ones) think so too. But I’ve also been called ugly and really can’t decide for myself.
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If your girlfriend thinks you’re handsome, then you are. Her opinion is the only one that counts. 🙂
 
Krogandoctor said:
This has maddened me for years. My mum and dad think I am handsome. My friends (the close ones) think so too. But I’ve also been called ugly and really can’t decide for myself.
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Tend to your grooming and hygiene, wear decent clothes when decent clothing is called for, but otherwise don’t spend too much time, money, and especially worry on your looks. (Oh, I suppose if you are in a “looks” profession, you can also get advice from people who know whose idea of good looks will actually matter to your career…plus it will probably pay dividends if you can see your way clear to wearing your hair and dressing in a way that your wife enjoys, if it is OK with you.)

Smile, life is good and a smile of gratitude over that fact looks good on everyone. That strategy will work from the cradle to the grave, too, sagging skin, thinning hair, and all.
 
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