If we believe in an afterlife, is it rational for us to grieve over the death of a loved one?

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I believe it’s irrational and selfish unless you’re convinced that your loved one was destained for hell.
 
Robert, if your loved one was going on a trip and would be away for perhaps years, even if the trip was a fabulous journey he or she had always wanted to do, you and your loved one are going to be apart for a time.

Won’t you be the littlest bit sad to see them go, and while they’re gone, even if you know you’ll be seeing them again???
 
It’s all a state of mind. We can choose to be happy for them, or we can be “selfish” and think about how we are going to miss them, especially if they die. I believe that most societies, not all, are conditioned to feel a sense of loss. It’s almost expected of us to grieve, but again, I personally do not believe it’s rational. In a sense, we are irrational beings.
 
So you mean that a person is ‘conditioned’. Why would a person be ‘conditioned’ to feel loss if you believe feelings are just ‘irrational’. Is selfishness irrational? When? Under what conditions? How about love, hate, friendship, compassion, etc.?

I think Robert that you’re just having a slight ‘down’ on human emotions today. Time for a Star Trek TOS binge so you can Grok on Spock and, well, NOT feel better. Feelings are highly illogical.
 
By conditioned I do not believe we were all taken to a laboratory and underwent conditioning there but by the social influence of mass media. So much of what think, feel and believe about the world around us is directly or indirectly influenced. Back to my original question, is it rational to grieve over the death of a loved one? We humans, I believe, are not very rational beings when it comes down to many things, especially the death of a loved one that we believe is in Heaven. Hey, do grieve if that’s what you want to do, but know that you are basically acting out of irrational emotions and false beliefs that are handed down to us through the mass media.
 
Given your other posts about conditioning and media…

What’s your agenda? Are you just paranoid?
 
Robert_Sock said:
Hey, do grieve if that’s what you want to do, but know that you are basically acting out of irrational emotions and false beliefs that are handed down to us through the mass media.
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That is only your opinion, and not a fact. My emotions and expressions of them have nothing to do with mass media.
It is rational to miss someone and cry about it. Even JESUS wept.
 
Been there - done that - I’ve lost many relatives in my 50+ years in this good earth - the most recent being my Dad. And yes, it hurts. Among my last words to him before he left us were: “I love you. I know where you’re going - you’re going to see Grandma again - & when you get there, I know you’re going to be happy - but…wait for me…”

All he needed to know was that we were ok with him leaving…& then he left us the next morning…

And yes…I do miss him…
 
Scripture tells us that four days after Lazarus’ death, upon his arrival at Martha and Mary’s house, Jesus was initially “perturbed” in spirit , but also that he subsequently wept . . . would seem to be a natural human reaction out of love for the one who passed away.
[John 11:33,35]

That being said, I have both heard and read remarks bemoaning the fact that at more than a few Catholic funerals , everyone is so busy mourning and comforting and eulogizing, that they never actually “get” the part about praying for the soul of the deceased. That in itself might not be the most natural or “rational” demeanor for a true Catholic.

What Every Catholic Needs to Know About Funerals
 
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Are you suggesting that the mass media has no effect on us when social learning theorists have proven otherwise? And yes, there exist plenty of behaviorists who maintain that we cannot escape the effects of conditioning on us. I’m a psychologist and I have no agenda but to educate. I’m not forcing anybody to accept anything I have to say, but I believe it can open some eyes to the effects of these psychological concepts.
 
Robert_Sock said:
Back to my original question, is it rational to grieve over the death of a loved one? We humans, I believe, are not very rational beings when it comes down to many things, especially the death of a loved one that we believe is in Heaven.
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I agree with your point about the deceased person’s soul probably going to purgatory or heaven, and that should involve a measure of satisfaction. However, you seem to be assuming that the sole, or primary, reason that a person shows grief at the lose a loved one is that the loved one is simply not there anymore. But the fact is that people need one another, and a loved one is one who gives, therefore they fulfilled a need for the grieving person when they were still alive.

The conscious, or unconscious, realization that that need is going to go unfulfilled will undoubtably cause grief. Is a widow being left to find food for her 5 kids all by herself? Has a child been left without the emotional support of their mother? There is also the fear of adjusting to life without someone who may have been a big part of a person’s life…giving them joy, love, food, guidance. The fear and uncertainty that that kind of lose would produce is not something I would ever want to know. It would certainly grieve me terribly.
 
Well of course it’s rational. It’s normal to feel sad when someone loses something. Is it selfish? I don’t see how. Its just a feeling. If you could somehow force someone to come back from the dead because you miss them, then THAT would be selfish, but there isn’t much you can actively do about someone dying.
 
This is absolutely correct. You will see them again but you will lose them for the rest of your time here. It’s normal to grieve for the hurt.
 
I suppose you would then reproach Jesus for weeping over the death of Lazarus, am I right?

Jesus wept.- John 11:35
 
It absolutely can be.

Will he go to hell? Purgatory for a time? These are reasons to be sad. And we don’t know if he or she will.

If they were an absolute saint, then we should grieve losing their advice and comfort in this life. Of course, we should never assume someone is a saint, as they may have gone to purgatory and could use prayers.
 
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I didn’t say no effects at all…jeez…

You’re a psychologist so you know that there’s more than just conditioning by the media. There’s plenty of research!

You have previously (unnecessarily) put so much weight on conditioning before, that’s why I asked. And I believe it was you who only accepted one definition of ‘sensitive’ so it suggests that you are dead set on certain things. It’s not meant to be an insult or anything like that.
 
For Christians, death ended the first stage of life (on earth) and thus proceeds to the next (eternal life, whichever it may be). Death therefore is a celebration, a victory. It’s something to be thanked for.

The reality of death makes us sad, and that’s for everybody, because when loved ones depart, we will miss them. Some of them maybe the sole bread winner and that can cause hardship for the family being left behind. Grieving and sense of loss is practical experience but it does not mean that we are not happy for them especially if they have undergone all the necessary Sacraments and the Last Rite. What await them is much better than we can ever imagine.

God bless.
 
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