If Wife Aborts Baby Against Husband's Wishes

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mister_Friscus
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Praying for your wife’s heart to be opened. Stay strong, and God bless you.

Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful-
Mother and love the weary, abused, neglected,
broken or forgotten among us-
Give your aid to all needing help or healing-
Assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering-
Be with those needing peace-
Console the lonely or brokenhearted-
Comfort the lost, hopeless or fearful-
Guard the unborn-
Pray for those who are dying or who have died-
Touch those who do not yet see truth or have hardened hearts-
Help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go-
Show us the way to do the right thing-
Protect those who are in danger, and
Guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen
 
Before all, statistics is not a diagnostic!
There is hope.

Please, don’t “allow” your wife to get an abortion!

Instead find group of support for families with down children, find testimonies of people who has trisomy and are happy.
Let her show that having a mental impairement does not forbid an happy life, nor it would make the family necessary miserable. there is at least some study who illustrate this fact.

List all you have to welcome a child, even a different one. Understand what you may need, pergaps while discussing with a specialized doctor who is not too pessimistic with excepting parents.

Usually down children involved much more health care, apppointments of all sorts since a young age to help them grow as much normal as they can. It takes time, but as love. You propose to devote time for appointments to relieve your wife’s fear, or propose her to get a time of her work, if she is working.

I really hope she would change her mind. To continue to live with a spouse who has kill our child should be an incredible cross. Not to mentionned sleeping with them. Trust and complicity would certainely at least be broke.
 
With life
Possibly your wife resents you. Possibly she doesn’t, possibly it’s a downs child possibly it isn’t, possibly your marriage fails possibly it doesn’t.
With death
Definitely your child dies
Definitely your wife’s soul is in jeopardy, definitely you will be repulsed.
If a perfect storm of the worst “possibilities” happened. Your child would live.
Easy choice here. Do everything you can to keep your wife and your child safe from destruction.
 
Last edited:
Now that I’ve read all the replies, ( I hadn’t last night), it seems quite clear…your wife has put the decision in your hands…

And you have made the right choice!
You may have to deal with a lot-anything from resentment, to ending your marriage-but your Child, barring any unforseen tragedy-gets to have a life!

Life is God’s greatest gift! Rejoice, for your Child, pray for your wife, and start preparing for your family!

God Bless!!!t
 
Last edited:
Mister_Friscus said:
Am I supposed to continue my marriage to someone who murdered my child? What does catholicism say about this?
Click to expand...
The situation is essentially extortion. You would be justified in separating from her regardless of the outcome for putting you in an impossible situation. She has already broken your trust.

Few relationships survive abortion. It demoralizes all parties involved. It is marketed as a easy solution to a difficult problem, and providers scour their ranks look for people who can laugh lightly at their experience. But the reality is that the death of a child, even a natural death, is often an insurmountable emotional burden for a couple. Only faith and trust in each other can overcome such a death, and abortion has neither.

As parent, you should be prepared to raise the child on your own, in case your wife makes good on the promise of resentment. Many families have been broken after giving birth to a child with severe disabilities. You do need to prepare for the worst. As a husband and father, you should be prepared to work to forgive and make amends is she comes to love the child despite its potential illness, but it won’t necessarily be easy. Even if the child were born healthy, there is broken trust you two must work through.

From a legal standpoint, there is no intervention possible to stop the procedure. You can only prevail on a moral front. Bitterness and punishment should not be part of the argument. If you separate or even divorce whatever the outcome, emulate Joseph when he mistakenly believe his wife was unfaithful, and arrange it quietly. Ensure your wife is comfortable.

It is possible you will prevail on her to accept the child with faith and love, and move through this. It is also possible you’ll end up a single father. There is also a risk you will be asking your priest for a funeral mass. Bitterness and hatred will only exacerbate a horrible situation. You must approach this with supernatural love.
 
Mister_Friscus said:
this simply exposes such a gigantic moral flaw in my eyes.
Click to expand...
This is a grand canyon sized moral flaw, and I would say something to that effect when you tell your wife you do not support the abortion. My husband has pointed out many of my character flaws and even though I was upset at the time becuase my pride was hurt I’m happy he did because now I’m a much better person since I’ve corrected those flaws.

I would not wait for your wife to maybe have a change of heart, I’d tell her straight “what does this say about you that you are willing to dismember your own child?” As you already said, if she goes ahead with the abortion anyway, your marriage may at that point be over anyway.
 
Legend said:
It almost sounds as if your wife has put the decision in your hands. If she were truly convinced that it was OK to abort this Child, my guess is that she would have had the abortion by now.
Click to expand...
The wife does not had an abortion yet (as to the last time the OP came in the threat) because there is only an increase possibility of having a child with trisomy. Seems only statistics but not a diagnostic (caryotype). There is still a very good chance that the child has nothing.

yet I agree that the wife seems hesitant: if she had a strong resolution, she would not ask her husband, she will just said she will have an abortion anyway. But the situation is very perilious. Every person, medical or not around her (except her husband) would probably think of an abortion as the only logical solution. The statistiques are very clear: almost all women who have such a disagnostic have an abortion.
A woman who is pregnant is very emotional. It is more easy to reject an unborn child that we never seen than a newborn. There is a high risk of abortion.

The few people who disagree with abortion tend to not have any test.

OP. Maybe you should let the medical staff around your baby know that you are against an abortion. It would not prevent her to choose otherwiser but maybe they would refer your couple to a therapist or would take time to speak to both of you.

If there is a priest on the hospital that follow you, ask to met him.

I pray and wish you the best outcome for your family.
 
Last edited:
Katie777 said:
She can have the baby and make an adoption plan. Every baby is a gift.
Click to expand...
Yes - if she puts her foot down about raising a Downs Syndrome baby, the OP could make the difficult decision to encourage adoption. It would be heartbreaking for him to give up the child, but at least it’d be alive and safe.
 
I agree with the suggestion of adoption, and the OP can propose it to his wife to the last solution if he wants it.

Not wanting to be pessimistic, but when some people want an abortion “to prevent the child a life of suffering”, if they truly belives what they said, they would absolutely refuse abortion- because the child would be alive- so condemn to a double penalty: the suffering of the disability and the suffering of being abondonned.

We have to correct the false idea that this disability would mean a miserable life.
 
Last edited:
Do the right thing…🙂 some people are longing for a baby. Down syndrome or not. And these disabled individuals are happy. I know alot of down syndrome high functioning adults.

I hug them each morning outside the coffee place I go to. They bring me joy and come see me at work. They wrap silly gifts for Christmas presents and i have them all…I love them. They are my peeps…
 
Last edited:
I know alot of down syndrome people. Sure it’s a commitment of family. Agree to a solution but do not abort.

I have so many joyous friends who have this. They are happy not suffering.
 
Wow. I’m very sorry for your situation.
While I sympathize with how your wife feels, my suggestion would be to introduce your wife to some couples who have children with Down syndrome and find it joyful and also to people with Down syndrome online like Madeline Stuart.
I pray this will help to change your wife’s mind and outlook and that she will come to see that Down Syndrome doesn’t have to be a sad life sentence.
I pray Gods blesses your situation.

 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top