I’m thinking that if men didn’t exist, the world would be so much better off. Let’s see, there would have been no men to abandon me while I was pregnant, no man to tell me to drive myself to the hospital while I was miscarrying his child(I did, and I did not make it that far. I was bleeding so badly and in so much pain that I pulled into a gas station. They called 911. Thank God there was an off-duty medic there already) This same man lied to me and told me that his father wouldn’t let him borrow the truck to come to the hospital. This man also raped me twice.
There would be no man to hit me, to call me up 3 weeks after I had his child and tell me that he didn’t think that our child was his(despite all evidence that it was) and then take off with his stripper, child beating girlfriend. There would be no man to lie to a judge, abuse me, tell the law guardian that he would get a psychological evaluation and then not do so, allow a lying woman around my son, call me up for sex multiple times(before he was married to this woman), and to grab me around the neck and pull me into his house while I had our child in his arms, so that my child hit his head against the wall. I called the police then.
These were two different men. One of them is gone out of my life. The other I am still stuck with, although he is out of my house and heart. I still have to hear his **** often. Last week he actuall had the nerve to ask me why I didn’t pay him child support for taking our son extra last summer! Duh! He WANTED him extra times while I worked. I had to-he’s not doing his job and paying child support.
He denies ever abusing me. It’s funny, though. His own mom says he’s abusive. He also did his abusive thing in front of the advocate from the domestic violence shelter. If he had kept up with his B.S. to the judge, she was now a witness.
I empathize with your pain. I’ve been there. However, it’s not true that the world would be better off without women or men. I’m learning that not all men are evil abusive freaks. I’ve forgiven the first one and I’m learning to forgive the second. Both of these males were severely damaged in their younger years and while they made their own choices, extreme emotional pain can limit how free those choices are. I am not excusing them. this is not a poor baby, it’s ok that you ___________(fill in the blanks) thing. This is where mercy takes over. Boundaries are necessary with people like these, but mercy comes into play when we understand that we all have sins in our lives that have hurt others, ourselves and God. Holding unforgiveness against a person is like a cancer.
Also, just a word of advice. You may want to look at whether or not you are truly innocent. Sometimes, God allows situations like this in our lives to shed light on our darkness. You may have some abusive tendencies that you don’t want to face. Then again, you may be totally innocent. God can and will still bring good out of this, if you allow Him to work in you.
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