Just joined the group about 2 weeks ago. I am 52 yr old, always single man. Left the CC at 24 - have only attended an occasional Mass to placate visiting relatives as a good host or guest. Baptized in 1955, confirmed 1962 (Fr Timothy Manning - future LA, CA Cardinal), 1st Holy Communion in 1966.
Had a sporadic Catholic education - Catholic boarding school from 7-11 years old, then a variety of public and private schools until my 1975 HS graduation.
Quite simply, I grew up with a very authoritarian view of God, the CC – basically, I was told to shut up from all parties for my Q’s about the CC. From 7-11, went to Mass 5 days a week – all I ever learned from the CC was blind obedience to rules, expectations and authority. Funny thing is - I saw all of the same in the large “evangelical/non-denominational” churches I attended in Southern California over 32 years.
I readily admit that none of the Protestant churches can be the true Church that Christ created or intended. I am only receptive to re-exploring the CC I never knew or learned about in my childhood. I am not ready to rejoin the CC – I have too much pain, anger, confusion and negative expectations of not being loved or accepted by any CC person for my long absence. I expect to be scolded, ridiculed, scorned and rejected. I prefer the anonymity of the Internet to safely explore my questions without meeting other Catholics. I’d like to have a better understanding of what I was supposed to get in my childhood – unfortunately, I have too much anger and mistrust to expect any real change in my heart.
But I appreciate everyone’s insights. I just don’t know where to begin in my spiritual journey today.
Hi
needgodsgrace,
Welcome to CAF, I think that you will learn a lot here. Besides “listening” to us lay Catholics, I suggest that you also visit the Catholic Answers home page, there is a lot of great information there…
At CAF, you probably will experience a little “scolding”, “ridicule”, “scorn” and “rejection” because of the many different opinions and personalities here. Additionally, people tend to be more blunt on the internet than in “real life”.
I have experience both extremes here at CAF…people who are very nice and people who are very rude, fortunately, the moderators here do an excellent job, making sure disagreements don’t get out of hand and I have found this to be one of the “safest” places on the internet to express ones opinion.
Now, as for the Catholic Church itself, usually and appointment with a priest or a single confession is all it takes for a Catholic to once again, begin practicing their faith, as a Catholic.
Some have additional hurdles to overcome but any amount of effort is worth it.
Catholicism is not about “us", it is about Jesus Christ and that is where all the focus is centered.
You know from attending a Catholic Mass in the past, that it isn’t the type of environment where people are “scolded, ridiculed, scorned or rejected”…like I said, it isn’t about us.
I really hope that you can put any negative feelings from the past behind you and come home to the Catholic Church.
Jesus Loves You!
Peace
