If you confess face to face, my hat's off to you!

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baltobetsy

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I went to confession face to face today for the first time in about 30 years. I’m a regular (every 2 -3 weeks) in-the-box type gal. Even when the priest knows me well, I’m happier behind the screen.

Today, it worked out another way. I hadn’t been able to get to regular confession times for too many weeks, I happened to be prepared, and the priest was hanging around the church 45 minutes before daily Mass as he usually does, in case he can greet someone or be of service in some way. So I asked if he had a few minutes and he said yes. He gestured to his confessional and asked if I wanted to go there or just sit in the big church. I let him decide, so we went and sat in a pew.

OHMYGOODNESS! I didn’t know I was capable of turning so many shades of red. I’ve had a number of deep conversations with him outside of confession, and he knows a lot about me and my family and my secrets, but NOTHING compares to accusing yourself of your sins right there IN PERSON!!! He was very kind and didn’t seem to notice what color I had turned. And if you’re hesitant to go to confession, please don’t take this post the wrong way - it’s really just fine - really. It’s just hard to teach an old dog like me a new trick like face to face.

As I said in the thread title, if you do this all the time, my hat’s off to you! :tiphat:

Betsy
 
I became a catholic in 2002. The way they did our first confession was face to face and from there till about 2 years ago I just kept doing it that way but about a year or maybe a little more I just went behind the screen. I would never go back to face to face although I miss the priest putting his hand on my head when he prays for me.
I try and go to confession around every three months. I don’t know if this is enough or too much. I am never able to remember too many specific instances of wrong doings in that period of time.
 
I don’t think that it is a big deal, either way. I can tell a priest anything, and I would just as soon do it face-to-face as not. They’re so absolutely unruffled by it, it is comforting. Even the one young priest who wasn’t…well, I could tell it was because he wasn’t quite sure what to tell me. There was no condemnation, not at all. I don’t see that as anything particular for hats off, though, just an aspect of my personality. I don’t think that it is a point against anyone that they have a hard time looking directly at the priest when they confess, either. It’s just one of those things.

I don’t like looking at my arm when they draw my blood. I’m not afraid of it, it just kind of makes my head swim, watching my blood flow out. It’s just one of those things. It doesn’t keep me from getting my blood drawn–that’s the main thing, right? As long as they get that blood sample, it is the same, whether I look or not.

It’s the same thing in the confessional, as far as I’m concerned. If you’re in there confessing, you’re holding nothing back, then you’re doing fine, whether you can stand to look or not. All that is important is that you DO confess.

Perfect contrition, now that’s something to shoot for! 👍
 
It’s nearly impossible to have a face to face confession at my parish because the confessionals really aren’t designed for it–although it could be done, by pulling back both the screen and curtain on two sides–but that would be cumbersome.

In any case, the priest usually does well just to hear those in line, and I suspect that face to face would go slower, and some would get left.

If a 2nd priest comes out to help, he puts a chair by the altar rail which in a de facto face to face arrangement, although he does not look at the penitent.

In any case, the anonymous confession is normative; face to face is an option which may or may not be offered.
 
ELROD said:
I try and go to confession around every three months. I don’t know if this is enough or too much. I am never able to remember too many specific instances of wrong doings in that period of time.
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Our pastor says that twice a year, once for Advent/Christmas and once for Lent/Easter, should be considered the minimum, even though the precept of once a year makes that the real absolute minimum.

Doing an examination of conscience every night is a good habit, no matter how often you confess. You get a better idea of your habitual sins, and whether confessing more often might be a good idea. The Jesuits have a practice called the Examen that is broader, that looks at not just our wrongs, but our desires, our gratitude, and so on. I just heard a talk about it; I think I may try it.
 
This reminds me of my last confession. I walked into the confessional like I always do expecting to give a private confession. The confessional has a double panel where one is solid wood and the other is a translucent material. Usually the priest only pulls back the sold wood screen leaving the translucent one in place.

However, the last time I went there was a visiting priest. I guess he didn’t know how the confessional worked and so he pulled back both screens. That was a little jarring to kneel down and then be face-to-face with a priest when you aren’t expecting it. And since the genie was already out of the lamp it wouldn’t have done a lot of good to ask him to pull the screen back.

Anyway, I guess the Holy Spirit sometimes needs to give me a little kick and keep me on my toes when trying to give a good confession. He was making sure I wasn’t “phoning it in.”
 
Hi! I have most often gone face to face to confession (in fact, my first confession was face to face). I think it’s much more reassuring, but all the same, with big/embarassing confessions i would much rather go to a screened confession. Although so many priests have told me that they’ve heard everything so it’s not as though anything i say wil shock them or make us both turn deep shades of red. Still, it’s slightly nerve racking! :eek:
 
baltobetsy said:
I went to confession face to face today for the first time in about 30 years. …]

OHMYGOODNESS! I didn’t know I was capable of turning so many shades of red. I’ve had a number of deep conversations with him outside of confession, and he knows a lot about me and my family and my secrets, but NOTHING compares to accusing yourself of your sins right there IN PERSON!!! He was very kind and didn’t seem to notice what color I had turned. And if you’re hesitant to go to confession, please don’t take this post the wrong way - it’s really just fine - really. It’s just hard to teach an old dog like me a new trick like face to face.

As I said in the thread title, if you do this all the time, my hat’s off to you! :tiphat:

Betsy
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It’s the norm in most of the Eastern Catholic Churches (aka Uniate Churches).

It’s profound every time.
 
I prefer confession behind a screen. I would rather be a soul —reaching out to God–without the distraction of our bodily forms.
 
I don’t have a choice. Our parish seems to purposely omit the confession booth even after their big renovation. Every first thursday, it’s always a face to face affair and I hate to admit it but it’s harder to drag my butt in front of the priest when it’s my turn than another church with a real booth. (I end up procrastinating and letting people in front of me go first right until the parish closes and I’m one of the last ones.)

Sometimes, I’m tempted to confess (not that I actually would) wearing a blanket or paper bag on my head to send the message: “please please please install a screen.”
 
Reynardus said:
I don’t have a choice. Our parish seems to purposely omit the confession booth even after their big renovation. Every first thursday, it’s always a face to face affair and I hate to admit it but it’s harder to drag my butt in front of the priest when it’s my turn than another church with a real booth. (I end up procrastinating and letting people in front of me go first right until the parish closes and I’m one of the last ones.)

Sometimes, I’m tempted to confess (not that I actually would) wearing a blanket or paper bag on my head to send the message: “please please please install a screen.”
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Since anonymous confession is supposed to be the norm, this would be a valid request.
 
In our parish, the priest is seated at the far side of a screen that’s only about 3’ high off the ground. He can see who you are immediately, and if you want to use the screen, you have to kneel in front of it. I just figure that he knows it’s me anyway, so I go ahead and have a seat opposite him and confess.

I think it’s way more embarrassing for me than for him. And I have to say that face-to-face confession is a great deterrent for some sins!
 
When my 2nd grade class made our first penance, most of us had to have face-to-face confessions because they only had two confessionals with a screen. Fortunately, the priest who heard my confession was my favorite - very kind, hilariously funny, great with us kids, a former professional musician with a wonderful voice, and was our choir director. When I look back, all of the priests probably thought were all cute with our confessions. How bad can an 7/8 year old be? 😛 By the time we graduated from grade school, though, they had removed the screens from the two confessionals and you had no choice, but to have face-to-face confessions.

Since then, most of the time I will go to confession with a screen. Although, I’ve stopped in at different churches and asked to make a confession and the priest will just sit me down in the pew. In my experience, they actually don’t look at you. All of them have sat with their profile to me, while I knealt behind him, so it doesn’t feel as nerve-wracking.
 
panther said:
In our parish, the priest is seated at the far side of a screen that’s only about 3’ high off the ground. He can see who you are immediately, and if you want to use the screen, you have to kneel in front of it. I just figure that he knows it’s me anyway, so I go ahead and have a seat opposite him and confess.

I think it’s way more embarrassing for me than for him. And I have to say that face-to-face confession is a great deterrent for some sins!
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Many find face to face confession a comforting way to confess. But as you say, it can be, and is, a deterrent to some, perhaps many. Maybe that’s why anonymous confession is mandated as the norm, and face to face as the exception.
 
I’ve done both face-to-face and behind the screen. I prefer behind the screen for this reason – it enables me to more readily acknowledge that the Priest is there in persona Christi. It’s not really an anonymous confession because the Priests know my voice pretty well and they know who I am.
 
The Good Priests don`t care, they are just happy that You go to confession either way, face to face or screen, I have gone both ways
 
Since the Eastern practice is face to face, I would find the box VERY unsatisfactory.
 
I can go either way, but I really liked going face to face with our (just retired) parish priest. I also like face-to-face with the new one. It doesn’t hinder the candor of my confession.

DaveBj
 
I think it’s all what you’re used to doing. I haven’t been behind a screen in probably 30 years, so that would feel really strange for me, and probably not altogether satisfactory.

When I returned to church after a number of years, I went face to face with a priest I knew well, and I found it very comforting that he never even batted an eye. When I confess, the priest is usually looking down, not staring you in the eye, so it is not too uncomfortable. Lately, I find myself looking down, too, (or glancing at my ‘cheat sheet’) The lighting is dim, so that cuts down on how noticeable the different shades of red are!

I’d say, hat’s off to anyone who takes advantage of this wonderful gift - no matter if it is face to face, behind a screen, in a confessional, in a pew, or in a parking lot!

Confession rocks!
 
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