If You Have Had An Annullment

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Lost_Lamb

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Do you admit at all to having been married before? My annullment was through the Catholic Church, not through the courts, so I know I have legally been married before. I’m meaning with others, would you ever mention it? Act like it never happened? What if someone asks if you’ve been married before, would it be lying to say no?

Thank you in advance for your perspective.
 
I would be up front and honest.
“I was married, but I had it annulled”

Kathy
 
me too. And that’s what I say when they ask because it’s the truth. Or I just call my ex-husband “the donor”.

:o
 
tundramom said:
me too. And that’s what I say when they ask because it’s the truth. Or I just call my ex-husband “the donor”.

:o
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I call my former marriage the “practice run.”

Thank you for the replies.
 
Katie1723 said:
I would be up front and honest.
“I was married, but I had it annulled”

Kathy
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Maybe change your terms to not encourage the misconceptions about the process"

“I was married, but it was an invalid marriage.”
 
Or you could say Yes I was legally married but had it annuled by the Church. Your marriage was legal, so you cannot deny that it happened civily at least.
 
I would be up front and honest.
“I was married, but I had it annulled”
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This is a really good answer as this will decide whether or not you go through pre-marriage retreat or a Pre-CANA II. One is obviously going to be more appropriate than the other.

Take care and God bless,
 
Joannm said:
Or you could say Yes I was legally married but had it annuled by the Church. Your marriage was legal, so you cannot deny that it happened civily at least.
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The reason this phrase is misleading, you do not “have” anything “annuled”.
 
I had my first marriage annulled, but that was over 20 years ago and my first marriage now never enters my mind, nor has for years. Perhaps you need some healing. I don’t know why someone would ask me such a question and no one has ever asked me if I was married before. I would simply ignore the question, unless it was a friend or relative, though all of these know already about my first marriage already.
I hope you don’t feel some guilt over an annullment, but it is no form of wrong-doing at all. I thought my broken marriage was terrible, but there is no wrong-doing from having an annullment any more than my having been born in Michigan.
 
mdgspencer said:
I had my first marriage annulled, but that was over 20 years ago and my first marriage now never enters my mind, nor has for years. Perhaps you need some healing. I don’t know why someone would ask me such a question and no one has ever asked me if I was married before. I would simply ignore the question, unless it was a friend or relative, though all of these know already about my first marriage already.
I hope you don’t feel some guilt over an annullment, but it is no form of wrong-doing at all. I thought my broken marriage was terrible, but there is no wrong-doing from having an annullment any more than my having been born in Michigan.
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Actually, someone had asked because they heard part of a conversation I was having with someone else. As my ex tried to kill me several times (and cheated on me), I try to reach out as much as I can to those in need. Trust me, it never enters my mind in a fond way, but to assist others. I, in no way, fault myself for the annulment as I got out of a situation that probably would have killed me eventually. Thank you for the reminder, though. We all need to hear that things like that aren’t our fault.
 
kage_ar said:
Maybe change your terms to not encourage the misconceptions about the process"

“I was married, but it was an invalid marriage.”
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This is what we say about my husband’s former, marriage. We say they were legally married, but invalid in the Church. Since there is a son from that marriage we feel it important to clarify that his parents were legally married at the time of his conception and birth. My step-son’s mother (non-religious) has found this answer acceptable, too. If people press further for an answer, I say that Scripture says “what God has joined together, let no one put usunder. God did not join them, they attempted to join themselves.”

Another excellent answer from kage_ar. I aspire to be just like you when I grow up! 🙂
 
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