If you were going to marry a non-Catholic would you try to force them to convert

[MarieHellen]

Just wondering, there’s a couple in my parish, and their daughter is getting married, they’ve been dating for years, but the couple, is forcing the daughter to make him convert. He and his family are currently Episcopalian, but he’s converting so he can marry their daughter.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

Just wondering, there’s a couple in my parish, and their daughter is getting married, they’ve been dating for years, but the couple, is forcing the daughter to make him convert. He and his family are currently Episcopalian, but he’s converting so he can marry their daughter.

It is wrong to make someone convert simply for the sake of converting. It’s an insincere act that means absolutely nothing.

 

[MakingMyWayBack]

Honestly, no, I probably wouldn’t. Without the belief in the Church(or any religion for that matter) making them convert, is just making them change a title…you can’t force belief on anyone. If my husband had been Jewish, if I would have made him become Catholic…do you think he would believe it? It takes a change in heart to believe in something, not a change in title. I was lucky enough to meet a nice Catholic man, but my sister, however, fell in love with this Greek guy, VERY nice, funny, amazing guy. I love my brother-in-law, but of course, he was Greek Orthodox, nothing wrong with that, but he wasn’t Catholic. She told me and my mom when they were dating, that she was going to invite him to Mass, and in turn, she’d go to his church, eventually, he got an interest in Catholicism, and converted a year before they got married. That causes a little strain in religious convos with his family, but he is a Catholic, by CHOICE.

 

[Kamaduck]

It you’re the sort of person who needs to marry a Carholic, you should marry a Catholic in the first place. “Forcing” someone to convert has no place in a mutually respectful relationship.

I couldn’t do it; I’d see it as disrespectful of them and totally insincere even if they did agree.

 

[SMHW]

Just wondering, there’s a couple in my parish, and their daughter is getting married, they’ve been dating for years, but the couple, is forcing the daughter to make him convert. He and his family are currently Episcopalian, but he’s converting so he can marry their daughter.

I can’t help but think that the bride to be is not particularly sincere in her faith and this is all about the parents. Asking someone to change something that is important to them in order to marry them is almost always a bad idea.

 

[Sneaux]

I don’t think that’s right…I wouldn’t convert for anyone…so why should I make someone convert for me? I also agree with a previous poster that said, just because you change your title doesn’t mean you changed your heart. It’s what’s in your heart that matters most.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

My mother converted for another boyfriend, who dumped her, I think he may have even left her at the altar (I learned this through my cousins). Then she married my dad, and he converted to marry her (he wasn’t anything before that). Unfortunately she was the devout one and when she died, he fell away and never went back. So converting just to marry someone doesn’t always work out.

 

[Kelfa28]

In-laws forcing their daughter to make her fiancé convert? No sense of respect or boundaries for the afflicted spouse?

Yeah, okay…this marriage is already on the path to success!

/Sarcasm.

Seriously, I really hope that this bride is nipping it in the bud big time out of respect for her fiancé. Or setting up severe consequences if respect isn’t given.

I’m not a proponent for mixed marriages. I think they spell trouble from the get go. However, I’m not saying that mixed marriages don’t work…there is plenty of proof from CAF posters that they do.

But you just don’t give someone an ultimatum that involves conversion. It’s disrespectful for everyone. The couple, the extended family and friends and (most importantly) The Church herself.

 

[Theresaj]

I became Catholic after I had been married for about 7 years, I pray for my husband’s conversion but it shouldn’t be forced for then how would either of us know of it`s truth. How couldn’t it cause resentment? I believe the Holy Spirit will move him, is moving him toward home.

 

[1ke]

Just wondering, there’s a couple in my parish, and their daughter is getting married, they’ve been dating for years, but the couple, is forcing the daughter to make him convert. He and his family are currently Episcopalian, but he’s converting so he can marry their daughter.

If her parents exert that much influence on their daughter, he has much bigger problems than whether he is Episcopalian or Catholic. And, clearly he is also willing to be run over roughshod since he is complicit in this as well. The fact that neither have told her parents to take a hike is a bad sign indeed.

And, BTW, “forcing” someone to convert is against Church teaching.

 

[jmcrae]

Just wondering, there’s a couple in my parish, and their daughter is getting married, they’ve been dating for years, but the couple, is forcing the daughter to make him convert. He and his family are currently Episcopalian, but he’s converting so he can marry their daughter.

Conversion happens in the heart; it is not merely a change in parish membership. This is why RCIA takes a long time, and only accepts willing participants.

I can understand the parents wanting their daughter to marry a Catholic, but that horse is long gone; she has chosen a non-Catholic, and she is the one who will live with the difficulties - although if she is the sort who will run home to Mummy and make Daddy pay the divorce lawyer, then they do have a right to make sure she doesn’t marry someone that she is going to have to divorce later on, since they will be on the hook financially - but if they make it clear to her that there will be no running home to Mummy when things go bad, and that she’s on her own with the divorce, then she can marry whom she likes.

 

[bzkoss236]

I married a non-Catholic Christian, and I’m not forcing her to convert.

Forced conversions are not good because there is a lack of faith involved.

Granted, recently, through our combined studying of the Catholic Faith, my wife has been feeling more and more convicted and told me that she is considering converting. But this is entirely her choice and her conviction. I didn’t push anything on her.

 

[MarieHellen]

Well, I suppose they’re not “forcing” but it’s the whole “If you don’t convert, you won’t marry our daughter” or “If you marry our daughter without converting, we’ll disown her, and the future grandkids.”

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Well, I suppose they’re not “forcing” but it’s the whole “If you don’t convert, you won’t marry our daughter” or “If you marry our daughter without converting, we’ll disown her, and the future grandkids.”

Yeah, that’s not forcing, that’s blackmail.



Bad idea.

 

[Kamaduck]

Well, I suppose they’re not “forcing” but it’s the whole “If you don’t convert, you won’t marry our daughter” or “If you marry our daughter without converting, we’ll disown her, and the future grandkids.”

TBH, that sounds pretty much like forcing. They don’t have a gun to his head, but they’re demanding things of him that he cannot necessarily give.

 

[VanSensei]

If one is going to attempt to “force” someone to convert with regards to marriage, one is better off not getting married, honestly. You can hope that they agree to marry in the Catholic form or at least get it convalidated/blessed later in life, but that’s really it.

 

[Estevao]

Absolutely. It will be a cold day in hell before I marry a heretic. Plus if i have any kids who go atheist, I will definitely be kicking them out. If they want to get brainwashed by those sophmoric “new atheists” they can go do it by paying their own bills.

 

[EasterJoy]

Well, I suppose they’re not “forcing” but it’s the whole “If you don’t convert, you won’t marry our daughter” or “If you marry our daughter without converting, we’ll disown her, and the future grandkids.”

I would run, and fast, from in-laws with an attitude like that.

 

[EasterJoy]

Absolutely. It will be a cold day in hell before I marry a heretic. Plus if i have any kids who go atheist, I will definitely be kicking them out. If they want to get brainwashed by those sophmoric “new atheists” they can go do it by paying their own bills.

I’m pretty sure no one will be trying to hogtie you into a marriage outside the Church.

 

[VanSensei]

Absolutely. It will be a cold day in hell before I marry a heretic. Plus if i have any kids who go atheist, I will definitely be kicking them out. If they want to get brainwashed by those sophmoric “new atheists” they can go do it by paying their own bills.

They might not want to be Catholic and be fine in their own religion. Forcing your beliefs on someone is not a healthy way to start a marriage. I mean, you never know. You could meet the most amazing [significant other - unsure of your gender] but they aren’t Catholic.