If you were in our situation what would you do?

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I can’t answer that without knowing more. What is your situation exactly? or is it too personal to discuss on an online forum?

If I couldn’t have children for sure, in one way or another, I’d probably adopt.

What do you want to do? What are your options exactly?
 
Rence said:
I can’t answer that without knowing more. What is your situation exactly? or is it too personal to discuss on an online forum?

If I couldn’t have children for sure, in one way or another, I’d probably adopt.

What do you want to do? What are your options exactly?
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We have been married for over four years. We have not been able to get pregnant even once. We have tried to adopt privately twice, but failed both times. We don’t have enough finances to go through an agency but hope it might work out one day. That’s about it. 😉

Edit: Oh and we haven’t been seeking treatments due to the fact I’ve had a lot of medical issues lately. I’m more just curious what others have done/ or would do in our situation.
 
Yeah, it’s a lot tougher if you are having medical issues that prevent you from getting other treatments. Cost is an issue too.

I guess it depends on how limited I would be physically, and if it would prevent me from taking advantage of current practices. If it were a financial problem, I’d probably petition the diocese for help.
 
Rence said:
Yeah, it’s a lot tougher if you are having medical issues that prevent you from getting other treatments. Cost is an issue too.

I guess it depends on how limited I would be physically, and if it would prevent me from taking advantage of current practices. If it were a financial problem, I’d probably petition the diocese for help.
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My issue is that I am already on about 10 different prescription medications and have about as many chronic illnesses. Non of them are serious in and of themselves, but they do take a toll on you after a while. We don’t think additional medications would be such a wise idea. Plus I’m kind of sensitive to anesthesia and take longer than average to recover from surgeries and so really don’t want to get any surgeries that aren’t absolutely necessary. I probably should suck it up and give it a try, but I’m such a baby. :o I hate being in the hospital and have been in it too much these past few years already.
 
prolifewife said:
We have been married for over four years. We have not been able to get pregnant even once. We have tried to adopt privately twice, but failed both times. We don’t have enough finances to go through an agency but hope it might work out one day. That’s about it. 😉

Edit: Oh and we haven’t been seeking treatments due to the fact I’ve had a lot of medical issues lately. I’m more just curious what others have done/ or would do in our situation.
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I can only say what I would do if I was in your situation. I would go to a fertility specialist to get testing done. It could be blocked tubes, it could be a hormonal problem it could be a problem that your dh has, or you have, or both of you have. So many possibilities, the only way to find out what the problem is, is to have testing done. Then the doctors would give you a diagnosis and possible treatments. I personally would do everything but IVF, only because I am too paranoid, I heard of cases where the wrong eggs were given to another patient. But if I wasn’t so paranoid, I would leave IVF as a last resort.

If all else fails, then I would consider adopting, which you have already done. But it doesn’t mean it should be out of the question.

Basically, you have to do what is in your comfort zone. I wrote out what I would do, but what would you do? I still think if anything at least get testing done, at least you will know what the problem is, then consider your options.
 
magic_stick said:
I can only say what I would do if I was in your situation. I would go to a fertility specialist to get testing done. It could be blocked tubes, it could be a hormonal problem it could be a problem that your dh has, or you have, or both of you have. So many possibilities, the only way to find out what the problem is, is to have testing done. Then the doctors would give you a diagnosis and possible treatments. I personally would do everything but IVF, only because I am too paranoid, I heard of cases where the wrong eggs were given to another patient. But if I wasn’t so paranoid, I would leave IVF as a last resort.

If all else fails, then I would consider adopting, which you have already done. But it doesn’t mean it should be out of the question.

Basically, you have to do what is in your comfort zone. I wrote out what I would do, but what would you do? I still think if anything at least get testing done, at least you will know what the problem is, then consider your options.
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I certainly wouldn’t do any artificial reproduction techniques. :nope: They are actually against the Church’s teachings.

There is definitely something wrong on my end. My vicious monthly visitor tells me that. 😉 My diagnoses is in “limbo.” They pretty much have narrowed it down to Endometriosis. But I am not wanting to get the surgery to find out for 100% sure. The only other treatment for Endo besides surgery is birth control, again not something I would do. And it is against the Church’s teachings too.
 
prolifewife said:
I certainly wouldn’t do any artificial reproduction techniques. :nope: They are actually against the Church’s teachings.

There is definitely something wrong on my end. My vicious monthly visitor tells me that. 😉 My diagnoses is in “limbo.” They pretty much have narrowed it down to Endometriosis. But I am not wanting to get the surgery to find out for 100% sure. The only other treatment for Endo besides surgery is birth control, again not something I would do. And it is against the Church’s teachings too.
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PolyCarp

Pope Paul VI Institute - Napro Technology

The Evil TwinsAromatase Inhibitors: A Promising New Treatment For Endometriosis

My wife had adenomyosis (endo in the uterus) and was told she would not be able carry our fourth full term.

Her uterus was very diseased.

We had our fourth, a healthy girl, to the doctor’s astonishment.

She had a hysterectomy a year later.
 
If I were in your situation, I would pray and look into adoption.
 
buffalo said:
My wife had adenomyosis (endo in the uterus) and was told she would not be able carry our fourth full term.

Her uterus was very diseased.

We had our fourth, a healthy girl, to the doctor’s astonishment.

She had a hysterectomy a year later.
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Oh wow!!! :bounce: Praise God for your miracle baby. My mother wasn’t supposed to be able to carry me to term either. 😉

Thank you for the links. I already do this one PolyCarp with the exception of magnesium. Haven’t tried that yet. 👍
the_phoenix said:
If I were in your situation, I would pray and look into adoption.
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This is what we ARE doing. 👍
 
I could be wrong, and I hope I don’t get flamed for this, but I thought I remember that if birth control pills are the only treatment for a medical condition, than it would not be against Church teaching.

I know of several families that have adopted through the Foster/Adopt system. These are kids taken out of their homes and put into special foster homes where the intention is to keep the child permanently through adoption once the legal procedures of termination of parental rights have been completed. Costs are minimal, and the children come with a monthly stipend until they are 18. It is cheaper to pay the adoptive families this stipend than to keep these kids in foster care their whole lives, plus it helps many more families to be able to afford to adopt these kids, thus giving them permanent homes. I think they also come with health insurance. My friend adopted siblings with special needs, and all their therapies are covered.

I’ve read your other posts. I know this is a huge cross for you, and my heart breaks for you when I read your pain. I know it is hard to hang in there and wait for God to reveal His will for your life. Just know that your faith and obedience will be richly rewarded.
 
Arlene said:
I could be wrong, and I hope I don’t get flamed for this, but I thought I remember that if birth control pills are the only treatment for a medical condition, than it would not be against Church teaching.

I know of several families that have adopted through the Foster/Adopt system. These are kids taken out of their homes and put into special foster homes where the intention is to keep the child permanently through adoption once the legal procedures of termination of parental rights have been completed. Costs are minimal, and the children come with a monthly stipend until they are 18. It is cheaper to pay the adoptive families this stipend than to keep these kids in foster care their whole lives, plus it helps many more families to be able to afford to adopt these kids, thus giving them permanent homes. I think they also come with health insurance. My friend adopted siblings with special needs, and all their therapies are covered.

I’ve read your other posts. I know this is a huge cross for you, and my heart breaks for you when I read your pain. I know it is hard to hang in there and wait for God to reveal His will for your life. Just know that your faith and obedience will be richly rewarded.
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I would worry about the pill since the World Health Organization lists it as a carcinogen.
 
What about the foster care system? Many times these can turn into very low-cost adoptions. I know it’s often not for everyone, dealing with (often) challenging children, chances that they won’t be with you for long… I know it can be a very tough road… but maybe an option worth looking into!!!

God bless you for carrying your cross… prayers for you…
 
Personally I would try and foster before considering adoption, it would give you a taste of what to expect and would probably look good if you tried to adopt later on. And you have the added benefit of helping out a child in trouble, it’s no secret some foster homes are nightmarish places of despair, you could really make a positive impact on a childs life if you did

Also, try baby-sitting as much as possible, maybe volunteer at a daycare or other facility that works with kids, get as much ‘practice’ as you can so to speak

Personally I’m hoping to adopt when I’m settled down, most likely from overseas, if I were in your place I would try looking into foster care and trying to get as used to being around kids as possible
 
I’m adopted, so this issue hits home for me in a different way.

I would remember that blood relations simply don’t mean anything. Would you rather have a biological child who rejects you and everything you believe in, or an adopted child who accepts what you’ve taught them? A step child who calls you, “Mom and Dad” or a biological child who doesn’t? I’ve spoken to some of of my friends who have children and where raised by their biological parents, and they totally see where I’m coming. I hope I’m being clear!

Of course, it’s alot deeper than that, and I’ll be the first to admit I’m not objective-but people need to realize that blood relations are totally overrated.
 
We were lucky enough to be blessed with two healthy boys. If we couldn’t have had any biological children, I would have eventually adopted because I am against any type of fertility treatments, whether or not they are acceptable to the Church. To me, those treatments are just a scam anyways. Plus, I don’t think that highly of my genes that I think that they would need to be passed down to future generations at any cost 🙂
 
i would become a foster parent. Where we live is cheaper to adopt a child if you foster with intent to adopt. I myself was adopted so i’m a big fan of adoption.
 
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