I’m a convert from Judaism. I was converted by St. Francis of Assisi. I had been educated by Capuchin Franciscans. Their love for their spiritual father and their fidelity to him caused me to become curious about this man.
I was very short as a teenager. I went to the school library and asked for a book on St. Francis. The librarian pointed out the shelves. I never realized that there have been several thousand books written about him.
But all the good ones were high and I couldn’t reach. I pulled one that I could reach, The Perfect Joy of St. Francis.
As I read it I understood Jesus Christ, his nature, his incarnation and his passion. I understood how they were interrelated and spoke about God’s love for me. I also saw that, in some ways, the world in which Francis lived was worse than our world today, as much as we complain. The sins of many Churchmen make today’s sins look boring. They just didn’t have news papers and internet back then. By the time you read about the problems, they were 100 years old, unless you lived in the same place.
But what impressed me was that Francis was so moved by the mystery of the Incarnation and the Passion that the sins of the clergy and lay Catholics around him were llike water falling on a slicker. In other words, he saw the Church as the bride of Christ and by extension he loved the bride as much as he loved the groom.
He never condoned nor publicly denounced the sins of the clergy and the laity. He denounced sin, without mentioning who. More importantly, he did a great deal of penance for his sins and the sins of others. He preached trust in God’s mercy. He was convinced that God would have mercy on sinners, even those within the Church. It was just a matter of “loving Love” as he said.
Penance to him was more than not eating meat on Fridays or fasting at certain times. He saw those as an external sign of an internal change. Penance was to give whatever God takes and receive whatever he gives with great gratitude and trust. This is not an easy thing to do, because we all like to feel in control. This requires that we become totally poor. We not only give up material things, but we give up the thing that we treasure the most, our desire to control.
When you’re looking at the Catholic faith, by all means study the history, doctrine, the moral laws, the disciplines and the rituals. However, do not forget to read about the ascetical life. Even cradle Catholics often forget that saints don’t get to heaven because of everything they know about the faith. Some knew very little. Saints get to heaven by their ascetical life. They take the faith and the turn it into a way of doing things, a way of seeing the world, a way of interacting with others, a way of keeping one’s peace and inner silence even in the middle of crisis and sin, a way of praying and a way of loving God and neighbor.
Ask you RCIA instructor if you can have a class or two on ascetical theology. If he cannot do it, then I would suggest that you read a few books.
The Perfect Joy of St. Francis by Felix Timmermans
Introduction to the Devout Life by Francis de Sales
The Way of Perfection by Teresa of Avila (Not the Interior Castle. That’s very high for a beginner).
Come be My Light – Mother Teresa
Immitation of Christ – Kempis
Saint Gianna Molla: Wife, Mother, Doctor by Pietro Molla, Elio Guerriero , James G. Colbert
The story of St. Gianna is one that inspires every modern layperson. She was the typical woman of today, surrounded by the same world, conflicted with the same choices, committed to the same duties: marriage, motherhood and career. It shows Catholicism in action in our contemporary world. Don’t look for miracles in this book. There aren’t any. The purpose of this book is to record her holiness, not God’s Glory manifested through miracles. The real focus is on how to become holy while living in an unholy world.
Again, ask your teacher if he or she can cover the basics of ascetical theology and if not, you can extrapolate a lot from these readings. Without the ascetical life, Catholic religious education is incomplete. It was the ascetical life that did it for me. It brought the concepts, rituals and laws into real life situations. They were not just things that you believed, did or avoided doing. There was more to it. Catholicism was about a way of living. I came to understand why St. Francis called it “Perfect Joy”. If one lives the ascetical life, one will always find at least one single thing that will bring joy into your life.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, OSF
