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valient_Lucy
Guest
Ahhh, the Walls of Jericho.
If you were traveling with a girl to whom you weren't married and could only find one hotel room what should you do?
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valient_Lucy
Guest
It would be wrong for two reasons.
1 We are supposed to flee from temptation, and not to place ourselves in the “occation to sin.” Sleeping with a friend of the opposite sex is placing yourself in an “occasion to sin.”
2 The situation could cause scandal to others.
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lizaanne
Guest
When I went to England to meet my fiancé for the first time for two weeks (he’s now my husband), we could not afford to have separate rooms. We stayed in B&Bs mostly, and a hotel once. Every time we had separate beds, and we changed in the bathroom to give each other privacy. We never had a problem with “near occasion to sin” because we knew what our priorities were (remain chaste until marriage), and it was far more important for us to live up to that priority than to have a quick thrill for an evening. 
Sleeping in a car was not an option - there was no car to sleep in.
I believe it is possible to be chaste given difficult circumstances. When I was in college I was visiting my friend Bruce in the men’s dorm and it got late. I got locked out of the women’s dorm, and they took my keys in the lobby of the men’s dorm so I couldn’t get back to my room unless I woke someone up. (I had fallen asleep in Bruce’s dorm room while he was down the hall visiting other friends) When he got back to his room it was well past midnight. There was only one single bed in his room, and a hard cold linoleum floor. He gave me his gigantic bathrobe to put on, we put a massive blanket between us, and we slept back to back until the women’s dorm opened and I could get back in.
It was totally embarrassing, but very innocent, and I think we both handled it well given the circumstances. He had no designs on me, nor I on him, we were just friends, so there was no threat of a lack of chastity. As far as scandal goes, no one knew I was there, and no one in my dorm knew I was gone, we both lived in private rooms and did not have roommates.
~Liza
Sleeping in a car was not an option - there was no car to sleep in.I believe it is possible to be chaste given difficult circumstances. When I was in college I was visiting my friend Bruce in the men’s dorm and it got late. I got locked out of the women’s dorm, and they took my keys in the lobby of the men’s dorm so I couldn’t get back to my room unless I woke someone up. (I had fallen asleep in Bruce’s dorm room while he was down the hall visiting other friends) When he got back to his room it was well past midnight. There was only one single bed in his room, and a hard cold linoleum floor. He gave me his gigantic bathrobe to put on, we put a massive blanket between us, and we slept back to back until the women’s dorm opened and I could get back in.
It was totally embarrassing, but very innocent, and I think we both handled it well given the circumstances. He had no designs on me, nor I on him, we were just friends, so there was no threat of a lack of chastity. As far as scandal goes, no one knew I was there, and no one in my dorm knew I was gone, we both lived in private rooms and did not have roommates.~Liza
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nichjake
Guest
I completely agree with you on this point. Setting a good example is important but there is a point where avoiding the appearance of scandle borders on the ridiculous…simply walking down the street nowadays is enough to cause scandle in some peoples eyes…
As for tempation to sin…have you never had a friend of the opposite sex that was so close that even the idea of doing something that would be considered sinful is enough to make you throw up a little in your mouth? At least that how it is with my friend, even under the influence large amounts of alcohol our relationship doesn’t even have a chance of being anything but platonic.
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AndyF
Guest
If this trip could have been preplanned,then she should travel with someone else or have a shaperone (like her father!
, couldn’t resist) along perhaps. Shaperone’s were a reality of life in the old days and in some countries today it’s still a common thing.If this is lodging due to a natural disaster in the dead of winter for instance, then a sleeping bag for you would be proper.
AndyF
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rwoehmke
Guest
One of my college boy sons some years ago said, “Sleeping in the same room does not necessarily mean sleeping between the same sheets.” One point that seems to have been overlooked here is how can there be scandal given in situations where no body knows who you are and what your marital state is. The OP’s question is one that I think every couple would have to decide on their own. Only they know their weaknesses and strengths in such circumstances. For some there would be no problem, for others it would be absolutely untenable. If they are not old enough and mature enough to know their own limits they have no business sleeping in the same room let alone the same bed.
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DebChris
Guest
The only problem I have with the idea of sleeping in the car is one of legality. Depending on where you parked, there could be charges of vagrancy.
I keep thinking of sleeping while riding the bus. There is no scandal when sleeping in these close quarters regardless of the gender in the next seat. Everybody is clothed.
The important point that has been mentioned in all the posts is to not sleep in the same bed.
I keep thinking of sleeping while riding the bus. There is no scandal when sleeping in these close quarters regardless of the gender in the next seat. Everybody is clothed.
The important point that has been mentioned in all the posts is to not sleep in the same bed.
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Holly3278
Guest
I would just sleep in the same room as the guy. If you’re really scrupulous and there is only one bed then have one of you sleep on the floor or have a cot brought in. Usually hotels have cots available. That said, I personally see nothing wrong with two people of the opposite sex sleeping in the same bed. I also see nothing wrong with them having sex with each other even if they are unmarried.
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BobP123
Guest
And you’d allow this if one of those were your kid?
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Sir_Knight
Guest
When I travel with my sister-in-law, we either get two rooms or I sleep on the sofa in the “living area” while she takes the “bedroom”.
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Sr_Sally
Guest
I was thinking that he could possibly sleep in the lobby–depending on the hotel. Most hotels/motels will also allow an extra cot. Of course, the other option is to try another hotel for another room.I agree with your list, except for the “your car is always an option” comment. If it’s 10-below outside, I wouldn’t recommend it.Just thought I would throw a technicality in there.
I would definitely try to avoid the situation by planning ahead and/or just not travelling with someone of the opposite sex who is not my wife, my mother, or one of my daughters.
Best solution–don’t travel alone with a girl that you are not already related to.
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AHapka
Guest
Actually, in my mind the best option would be:
One of you sleeps in the passenger seat while the other continues driving. And so on and so forth until you get where you are going OR to where you could get two rooms.
In the past in the United States this may have been an issue, but these days there are many hotels in most areas of the country within a 100 mile radius.
With two people switching off, you can easily make 1,500 miles a day. Unless you are crossing the country (and don’t tell me every hotel room in the country but one is tied up), you’ll make it to where you are going.
Avoids the issue entirely (and cheaper if you just keep driving).
Andy
One of you sleeps in the passenger seat while the other continues driving. And so on and so forth until you get where you are going OR to where you could get two rooms.
In the past in the United States this may have been an issue, but these days there are many hotels in most areas of the country within a 100 mile radius.
With two people switching off, you can easily make 1,500 miles a day. Unless you are crossing the country (and don’t tell me every hotel room in the country but one is tied up), you’ll make it to where you are going.
Avoids the issue entirely (and cheaper if you just keep driving).
Andy
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Holly3278
Guest
I have to come in here and apologize. I have since came back to the Catholic Church and I renounce what I said earlier. Please forgive me. It took a long conversation with someone and a lot of thinking for me to come back. My main concern is that I need the Eucharist.
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BobP123
Guest
Not a problem. I’ve read your other notes so I didn’t think your previous post was serious.
We all do.
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rlg94086
Guest
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blacktiger057
Guest
I do not see any problem with sleeping in separate beds in the same room. You just say “goodnight” and go to sleep. No sex. You wake up the next morning and get on with your life.
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RowBoat
Guest
“If you were traveling with a girl to whom you weren’t married and could only find one hotel room what should you do?”
Split the cost.
Split the cost.
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WSD
Guest
Good friends or not, they are also human. So much of this questions depends on the 2 people knowing how strong they are to resist temptation to sin. for some the fact they do not want to mess up their friendship may be enough. But if it is not, they could be putting their relationship with each other, and more importaint, with God, on the line. God forgives, and so may the female friend, but still their relationship would never be the same. Is it worth the risk?
C.S. Lewis has some interesting words on this in his book The Four Loves that may help him answer his question.
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lcg101
Guest
I found this a really interesting read. Thanks.
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BlaineTog
Guest
Not for everyone. It would depend highly, one might even say exclusively, on the persons involved. Not all men are attracted to all women, and vice versa.
To a certain extent, that’s their problem. Like, you probably shouldn’t make moaning sounds or something to mess with the nosy neighbor, but at the same time, you can’t live your life obsessed with making sure nobody misunderstands you.
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