If your grown child were homosexual, how would you respond?

[JamesG]

I would lecture the child and make him/her understand that they are in a state of sin and will surely suffer the fires of hell for his/her actions against God. I would never accept that childs behaviour and I would go to my death bed weaping for him/her. I could only pray that God would have mercy on my child and mercy on me for my failure as a parent to help him/her lead a holy life.

These are grave sins that should not be taken lightly.

It is true that sometimes the weeds in the field poison the wheat. It is important that we do not uproot the weeds because we might end up pulling out the wheat as well. Such a child is therefor at the mercy of God and his justice. If the child rejects the Body of christ and Gods perfect plan for men and women then his soul will burn in the great fire for eterninity. There will be nothing more terrible for that child when he/she realizes how terrible the sin of homosexuality is. that is why it is up to us as parents to make it clear to them that they are rejecting Gods plan and abusing their bodies for their own selfish desires.
Saying nothing is perhaps the worst thing a parent can to.

 

[pathia]

Unconditional love.

Being gay is a condition. It doesn’t matter if it is a choice, or if it is genetic, or a combination of any number of things. It is a condition.

Ergo, there is no reason to not love your child and their partner.

Unconditional means unconditional. I have no idea if it has any scriptural basis, but it’s always been my feeling that casting a child aside or shunning them is just as bad as the sin you are casting them aside for.

I had two friends in highschool, one my freshman year, one my junior, that were kicked out due to homosexuality and transsexuality respectively. Both of them were found on the streets dead within the next year. At least one was by their own hand, the other was undetermined.

 

[pathia]

I would lecture the child and make him/her understand that they are in a state of sin and will surely suffer the fires of hell for his/her actions against God. I would never accept that childs behaviour and I would go to my death bed weaping for him/her. I could only pray that God would have mercy on my child and mercy on me for my failure as a parent to help him/her lead a holy life.

There is only so much lecturing anyone can take. My parents lectured me in this manner until I fell into depression, then despair, and I tried three times to take my own life as a result. I am still recovering mentally, physically and financially from the various aversion and shock therapies I went through to try to ‘fix’ myself.

 

[whatevergirl]

I would lecture the child and make him/her understand that they are in a state of sin and will surely suffer the fires of hell for his/her actions against God. I would never accept that childs behaviour and I would go to my death bed weaping for him/her. I could only pray that God would have mercy on my child and mercy on me for my failure as a parent to help him/her lead a holy life.

These are grave sins that should not be taken lightly.

It is true that sometimes the weeds in the field poison the wheat. It is important that we do not uproot the weeds because we might end up pulling out the wheat as well. Such a child is therefor at the mercy of God and his justice. If the child rejects the Body of christ and Gods perfect plan for men and women then his soul will burn in the great fire for eterninity. There will be nothing more terrible for that child when he/she realizes how terrible the sin of homosexuality is. that is why it is up to us as parents to make it clear to them that they are rejecting Gods plan and abusing their bodies for their own selfish desires.
Saying nothing is perhaps the worst thing a parent can to.

James;

With all due respect, none of us truly know for sure who will go to Hell. It’s unfair to condemn anyone…for anything…only God is our Judge. Not us as mere human beings. I think that Scripture points to it, but we simply don’t and cannot understand the unfathomable mercy of our Lord. I would never tell my kids they were going to burn in Hell for a sin they were committing…never.

 

[DL82]

By explaining what the Church teaches and why, by trying to support him/her in either seeking to change this behaviour or to embrace celebacy, but ultimately by respecting his/her decision and always being ready to reassure them of God’s waiting forgiveness when it all goes wrong.

 

[JamesG]

James;

With all due respect, none of us truly know for sure who will go to Hell. It’s unfair to condemn anyone…for anything…only God is our Judge. Not us as mere human beings. I think that Scripture points to it, but we simply don’t and cannot understand the unfathomable mercy of our Lord. I would never tell my kids they were going to burn in Hell for a sin they were committing…never.

I don’t understand this. Is is not through sin that someone rejects God and therefore enters the fires of hell? How can you not instruct your own children on the teachings of Christ? How can you ignore the Gospel?

This is the problem today there are so many people who don’t want to accept the fact that the fires of hell are real! Even Christ himself spoke about them.

I’m not condeming anyone I’m just pointing out that there are real punishments that they will endure for their actions. God is the only one they have to answer to. They already have a judge and that judge is Jesus. People who try to ignore that fact are just not being truthfull to themselves and to everyone else.

I honestly think that people who are gay are just making excuses for their actions. After all they have a choice to commit such actions or not.

 

[JamesG]

There is only so much lecturing anyone can take. My parents lectured me in this manner until I fell into depression, then despair, and I tried three times to take my own life as a result. I am still recovering mentally, physically and financially from the various aversion and shock therapies I went through to try to ‘fix’ myself.

It sounds like you have a lot of praying to do.

 

[goofyjim]

I don’t understand this. Is is not through sin that someone rejects God and therefore enters the fires of hell? How can you not instruct your own children on the teachings of Christ? How can you ignore the Gospel?

This is the problem today there are so many people who don’t want to accept the fact that the fires of hell are real! Even Christ himself spoke about them.

I’m not condeming anyone I’m just pointing out that there are real punishments that they will endure for their actions. God is the only one they have to answer to. They already have a judge and that judge is Jesus. People who try to ignore that fact are just not being truthfull to themselves and to everyone else.

I honestly think that people who are gay are just making excuses for their actions. After all they have a choice to commit such actions or not.

Because with all the antiCatholic forces out there they may not be totally culpable for their actions. I seem to recall the Douay-Rheims Bible saying that the effeminate would not inherit the kingdom. Does anyone believe that today?

We don’t know what happens on a person’s deathbed. It has often been said that some people don’t convert until the eleventh hour fiftyninth minute and fifty ninth second so yes we should not pass final judgement. That is for God to determine not us.

 

[deb1]

I don’t understand this. Is is not through sin that someone rejects God and therefore enters the fires of hell? How can you not instruct your own children on the teachings of Christ? How can you ignore the Gospel?

This is the problem today there are so many people who don’t want to accept the fact that the fires of hell are real! Even Christ himself spoke about them.

I’m not condeming anyone I’m just pointing out that there are real punishments that they will endure for their actions. God is the only one they have to answer to. They already have a judge and that judge is Jesus. People who try to ignore that fact are just not being truthfull to themselves and to everyone else.

I honestly think that people who are gay are just making excuses for their actions. After all they have a choice to commit such actions or not.

Everyone here believes in hell, so we aren’t denying its existence.

But once your child is grown there is not much you can do to stop them from charting their own course in life. You can certainly let your feelings be known, but you can no longer make them act as you wish.

Would you shun your adult child, thereby, removing your influence that might ultimately help them decide to live a celibate life?

 

[whatevergirl]

I don’t understand this. Is is not through sin that someone rejects God and therefore enters the fires of hell? How can you not instruct your own children on the teachings of Christ? How can you ignore the Gospel?

This is the problem today there are so many people who don’t want to accept the fact that the fires of hell are real! Even Christ himself spoke about them.

I’m not condeming anyone I’m just pointing out that there are real punishments that they will endure for their actions. God is the only one they have to answer to. They already have a judge and that judge is Jesus. People who try to ignore that fact are just not being truthfull to themselves and to everyone else.

I honestly think that people who are gay are just making excuses for their actions. After all they have a choice to commit such actions or not.

I’m not ignoring the Gospel. We simply do not know that just because someone is practicing homosexuality, that he/she will end up in Hell. This does not mean I condone the behavior…but it means that I do not know everyone’s hearts who commit sins. I have committed sins…I’m sure you have. I have since repented, but mine were truly mortal sins, giving the three things that need to be present. But, suppose someone who is gay doesn’t understand the ramifications to their actions…is not spitefully or without remorse, committing their acts? Jesus spoke of a narrow gate…yes, He spoke of Hell. I too speak of Hell to my kids, but I also tell them that God is filled with mercy. I don’t want them leaving my home condemning homosexuals…I know that!!

You never know…Hitler might be there, too.

 

[JamesG]

Everyone here believes in hell, so we aren’t denying its existence.

But once your child is grown there is not much you can do to stop them from charting their own course in life. You can certainly let your feelings be known, but you can no longer make them act as you wish.

Would you shun your adult child, thereby, removing your influence that might ultimately help them decide to live a celibate life?

I never said I would shun the child.
I said would provide facts regarding the kingdom of heaven and Gods plan for humanity. Homosexual acts are a sin and that is the bottom line. There isn’t much a person can do if a child ignores his father on earth and his father in heaven. All you can do is pray for them. I think it would be completely wrong of me not to point out what the bible says about these acts and what the church teaches about it.

 

[whatevergirl]

I never said I would shun the child.
I said would provide facts regarding the kingdom of heaven and Gods plan for humanity. Homosexual acts are a sin and that is the bottom line. There isn’t much a person can do if a child ignores his father on earth and his father in heaven. All you can do is pray for them. I think it would be completely wrong of me not to point out what the bible says about these acts and what the church teaches about it.

I agree with you there, James. To allow another to sin, is just as bad as us partaking in the sin…I believe that is in the Bible somewhere. But, all we can do is provide a moral compass for them…whether they choose to take it on life’s journey, is up to them. I truly would be saddened if my kids chose this path of life…because it’s a hard road. I have known many gay people, and regardless of their religious beliefs…wow, it’s such a tough life for them. In addition to my fear of where they would truly end up in eternity.

 

[JamesG]

I’m not ignoring the Gospel. We simply do not know that just because someone is practicing homosexuality, that he/she will end up in Hell. This does not mean I condone the behavior…but it means that I do not know everyone’s hearts who commit sins. I have committed sins…I’m sure you have. I have since repented, but mine were truly mortal sins, giving the three things that need to be present. But, suppose someone who is gay doesn’t understand the ramifications to their actions…is not spitefully or without remorse, committing their acts?

You had best make sure your child understands the ramifications of his actions. If you don’t then you have done nothing to help that child enter the kingdom of God. The ramifications are simple. Suchs acts are sinfull. A sin is a rejection of God.
Sinfull acts put you in hell unless you repent. Therefore a lecture and a call for repentance is the best action a parent can take.

Lets see what Jesus says in Matthew 13 says.

37He answered, "The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man. 38The field is the world, and the good seed is the children of the kingdom. The weeds are the sons of the evil one, 39and the enemy who sowed them is the devil. The harvest is the close of the age, and the reapers are angels. 40Just as the weeds are gathered and burned with fire, so will it be at the close of the age. 41The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all law-breakers, 42and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear.

The fact is homosexuals are law-breakers. It is clear what will happen to them. If your child doesn’t understand this then he/she will never know enough to repent and you will have failed in your duty to your children.

Jesus spoke of a narrow gate…yes, He spoke of Hell. I too speak of Hell to my kids, but I also tell them that God is filled with mercy. I don’t want them leaving my home condemning homosexuals…I know that!!

Your children need to learn how to rebuke gay actions and gay activists. If they don’t then they will just be allowing the evil one to poison their society. That is the problem with our society. People try to be PC and allow society to degrade.

You never know…Hitler might be there, too.

you are totally correct. the mass murder of innocents and the proliferation racial hate is not something you can go to hell for. It is therfore wrong for us to point a finger at this man and say that he has rejected the body of christ.

 

[whatevergirl]

You had best make sure your child understands the ramifications of his actions. If you don’t then you have done nothing to help that child enter the kingdom of God. The ramifications are simple. Suchs acts are sinfull. A sin is a rejection of God.
Sinfull acts put you in hell unless you repent. Therefore a lecture and a call for repentance is the best action a parent can take.

Lets see what Jesus says in Matthew 13 says.

The fact is homosexuals are law-breakers. It is clear what will happen to them. If your child doesn’t understand this then he/she will never know enough to repent and you will have failed in your duty to your children.

Your children need to learn how to rebuke gay actions and gay activists. If they don’t then they will just be allowing the evil one to poison their society. That is the problem with our society. People try to be PC and allow society to degrade.

you are totally correct. the mass murder of innocents and the proliferation racial hate is not something you can go to hell for. It is therfore wrong for us to point a finger at this man and say that he has rejected the body of christ.

I have a really good rebuttal to you James…but I’m too tired to comment…lol

But, your points, I don’t disagree with…I just think that there is a slippery slope between being PC (which is overkill these days) and condemnation. I think that intolerance…can breed hatred. Something that this world doesn’t need more of. Believe me, I share with my kids that there are eternal consequences to their actions…and inactions. But I do teach them that God loves us all…He dislikes our sin.

Thank you for your post…it isn’t calling on deaf eyes, so to speak.

 

[jrnami]

Thank you for the many thoughtful responses. I don’t have a gay child but I do have two gay cousins. They are otherwise fine human beings, although not religious. I find that when I get to know homosexuals in the workplace or in other ways, it does soften my stance, as long as they are modest about their lifestyle, and don’t flaunt it.

I see homosexuality as a disability and perhaps not totally under the control of the person, since sexual urges are often so compelling.

 

[Hatter]

If my child commited a sin I wouldn’t stop loving her. She is still my child and I will love her no matter what. “Hate the sin love the sinner”. I would tell her that I didn’t agree with her lifestyle, but I wouldn’t push her away or be rude to any eventual partner of hers.

 

[AndyF]

jrnami:

First I would correct him and say that he is not “the sin”. He has not become the sin itself and should not identify with it. Those creatures that can identify with it by name are the lost creatures. He has committed a wrong and now it is time to shake off the dust and fend off further attacks by instructions from the Church, the Rosary, prayer and a virtuous life, and many self help groups that deal with this problem.

Accept partner? No. The proximity to a “partner” is an occasion that needs to be avoided.

No one can can soften their stance. HS is not one of life’s options, nor is it a permanent condition, nor is the behaviour a candidate for popular vote. People who do this act are doing wrong and every grevious wrong angers God and deverts people from Him which is their destiny by choice. That is what must be instilled in every parent.

A counter strategy can be developed and the Church has many ways of combating it. A parent who does not try to help his child combat this sin is also creating a grave situation for himself.

AndyF